- Books, Literature, and Writing
Awkward Moments In Comic Books You Know You Want To See
Yep, that's awkward.
That's so awkward!
The world of comic books is filled with miraculous moments and amazing events. Each page dictating some daring act of a brave yet misunderstood hero. These pages are also filled with some moments that take us by surprise and really catch us off guard. These awkward moments usually come and go, fleeting about a panel or two and than kind of fading in the pages as the main story line unfolds.
We all remember the rather odd emotional and physical attraction Wolverine had to Jean Gray, despite her love to Cyclops. We can remember reading through X-Men comics and suddenly Storm became sophisticated looking and no longer looked as if she was the bass player for a girl version of the Sex Pistols. These moments are there to catch an eye for a brief second and then relax us back to the main focus, but what if these moments were far more absurd in their approach?
I am going to give you some scenarios that put the typical awkward moment of comic books past and present to shame.
Is it true?
The DC Universe
DC has always been noted for it's reliance on Batman and Superman to go head to head with Marvel. In it's pages have unfolded amazing tales from such memorable characters as The Flash, Green Arrow, and of course The Justice League.
These stories have had their fair share of WTH moments, but none will compare to these.
- Green Lantern returns to find the Green Lantern Corp laughing and discussing him in what they believe to be private quarters. . He listens in to discover he is terribly color blind and his suit is actually pink, not green. All this while Hal Jordan had no clue why other heroes had kind of brushed him off and considered him less then worthy but now he knew. He is the Pink Lantern, the joke of the universe.
- While searching for a missing dog named Skippy Superman takes to the air. His regal appearance a treat for the kids along flight 107 until, no wait, this can't happen. His cape is sucked into the engine and the plane is headed downward. It crashes full force into a huge mansion. As the flames and rubble break away there stands the man of steel upset and distraught to see that the plane he just caused to crash has landed in Lex Luthor's home. Luthor stands among the rubble, unable to stop laughing.
- On a trip to a far off island Batman discovers his parents living as regular folks. He approaches them to discover that they faked their death. "Was it to protect me?" he asks. Then the fatal truth is told. Turns out they left him because he was just to dark and brooding. "But, I'm Batman!" he says with a vigor of proudness. In the next panel Mrs. Wayne says "Sure you are honey that's really nice" Batman returns to Gotham a changed man.
- The Green Arrow is spotted by Barry Allan at a cosplay convention dressed as none other than Robin Hood. Allan however has no room to poke fun, he is dressed as the Green Arrow.
- The world is shocked as The Joker finally comes clean on his true identity. He is none other than famous 80s comic Galliger.
- After years of hiding Cyborg reveals he is actually Jax from Mortal Kombat.
- Killer Croc enters into the Oil of Olay rehab program and after extensive treatment he is cured of his skin condition and goes on to star in Shark Boy and Lava Girl and Twilight.
- Robin finally stands up to the Batman. He no longer wishes to be like all the other Robins, so in a fit of rage he changes his name to Red Robin. Villains everywhere are reported as following his tag line with the word yum.
- .Wonder Woman becomes the new spokesperson for the wonder bra. Superman is pleased beyond words.
Serious Awkwardness is serious.
Let's Get Serious
There are those moments that are awkward but not funny. Look at The Killing Joke when Joker paralyses Barbara Gordon. It was awkward but not one of those lighthearted awkward moments. These kind of awkward moments hit us a bit differently than the more humorous ones and rightfully so I would imagine. I have left that side of awkward out for you to try to avoid any hard feelings that may come from me not dogging the fact that Wolverine's hair is absurd and that Superman changes in a phone booth. Carry on!
Marvel at the Awkwardness of Marvel
Marvel comics is not without its fair share of awkward moments. Grey Hulk, Green Hulk,. Red Hulk oh my! Not to mention the fact Wolverine looks more like a honey badger than a ruthless killing machine. These moments serve to remind us that sometimes writers just want to mess with us in an attempt to see how long we will stick around and ask where did Longshot's other finger go and how exactly did Sinnister choose that alluring shade of red lipstick.
Here are a few Marvel Universe awkwards to hold you over.
Ouch, so much awkwardness.
Why so not serious?
- The Hulk finds out he really is not super strong at all. His friends have just been setting up cardboard props prior to his arrival to make him feel like he is more than just a big green troll.
- Spiderman accidentally gets his hand stuck on an issue of Playgirl magazine and is forever tagged the more than friendly neighborhood spider freak!
- The Punisher beats the tar out of a 12 year old at King's Island for cutting line. Suddenly the park hires him full time.
- Daredevil is struck on the head by a stray pipe and proclaims, "I can see!" Suddenly Kingpin kicks him in the noggin and he is blind again. Oh the irony of it all.
- Spiderman retires the black suit just to be taken to court by Al Sharpton under accusations of racism.
- Rogue walks in to find Professor X walking. Turns out he is just a lazy bastard and never needed to chair to begin with.
- Deadpool goes an entire issue without even touching the 4th wall.
- Wolverine begins selling kitchen knives on the home shopping network to pay off damages to Cyclops motorcycle.
- Ghostrider is floored when he receives his Progressive Insurance rates. Apparently setting all your bikes on fire is frowned upon by Fran and the gang.
- Captain America is seen driving a car made in.... Germany!
- Guardians of the Galaxy is one of the highest grossing films of the year, wait that actually happened. Awkward.
- Rocket Racoon, Howard the Duck and the dog seen in a rogue Spiderman issue form a team that fights a stray alien race of gender bending monkeys.
- Blade retires from hunting vampires and starts making appearances on various discovery channel shows with redneck men looking for monsters in the wood and corn fields of America. The show lasts seven seasons and repeated guess appearances by Wolverine and Hulk fuel the fandom.
- Nick Fury reveals the eye patch is fake, he just really really likes pirates!
- Mr. Fantastic takes viagra and tears a hole in the side of the Fantastic Four building,
Hulk big green and mean.
There you go, a few awkward moments that should totally happen in a comic book near you. OK, so maybe they are pretty bad but still admit it you would enjoy some of these. It always gets me down to see that comic books often just focus on serious issues and try to be dark and absent of any light moments. I like to see some realism in there from time to time. I admit seeing Hulk smash things gets a little redundant and the whit of Spidey can get old so why not throw them a huge awkward curve ball.