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Blame It On Whom? [Part II] 'Question is still there without any answer'.

Updated on February 23, 2012

Hie There! Am very grateful to all of you who Inspires me. Mine Special Thanks will definitely start with my always smiling and Beautiful Hub Mom

@Sunnie day, She is great. Very Loveable and Inspiring the Great Sir @Epigramman, He is the Best Poet here.The very Beautiful and kind hearted with poetic looks @Kimberlyslyrics, @EiddwenMa'am & @Nellieanna Ma'am,
My Dearest Sir@Bbnix, Sir@saddlerider1, Sir@mikeq107, Sir@mckbirdbks, Sir@J. S. Matthew, Sir@Kenneth avery, Sir@jpcmc.
And @Jami.I. Pereira, @Movie master, @Strictlydating, @Martiecoetser, @Bhanu.jas, @Ddraigcoch, @Cheekygirl, @Cardisa, @kittythedreamer, @qudsiap1, @Ubanichijioke, @Puru13, @Wayne {TheDailyMessenger}, @CloudExplorer and many more.
OMG! My list will go on & on so better leave here guys. LOL...;)

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I hope you all will like my this part as well as you like the first part of this story. So here it goes.....

'Those Crucial day's of my Life' stage 1-->
We both got married normally. Everything was fine, He was nice to me. But There was something fishy. Then one day while checking his cell I found some strange messages. At first I thought it would be his past life, and everybody has one. So I let it go and never questioned him about that girl. But that wasn't just a past for him which I realized later on. Bit by Bit I came to know everything about that girl. He started showing signs of being strained. I wasn't able to decide what was right for me and what wasn't. I was undecided.

He wanted to marry his girlfriend but his Mom never gave approval and forced him to marry me. His girlfriend didn't belong from our cast and this was the main reason for her disapproval. After getting forced constantly he agreed to marry me. And we got married. He was never interested in me.
He never Loved me. But don't know How, When and Why, I started Loving him. I think nobody can answer. I Loved him Without the condition that he has to Love me back. But I have had a Hope that one day he will realize my Unconditional Love for him. This was very difficult and Crucial days of my life when I knew everything but have to keep quiet because I had two reasons to live with Him. First was my Parents, I would never ever hurt them and I can't see them worried for me or anything else, And the 2nd, I was in Love with him. I had been kept quiet for 5 years without questioning anybody. I hadn't even asked him why he has done this to me. Just because I never wanted him to feel guilty in front of me. Why would he be guilty, Love is not a guilt at all. Isn't it?

Then one afternoon we argued. And I left his house and came to my parents place.





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'Those Crucial day's of my Life' stage 2--> I hadn't said a word to my parents about our argument. I thought it would end there only. But I was wrong, it's gone bigger & bigger as the days passed. One day my parents came to know everything which was hidden by Me & My In-Laws. They got so angry and frustrated at the same time because they couldn't understand on whom they should have blamed, My in-laws, My Husband or Me.
Things gone worsen. My husband stopped receiving my calls and didn't respond to my messages. I kept looking at the door that one day he will come to me. But it never happened and my parents decided that we both should get a Divorce. I cried from inside, never let them know my pain. I wanted to tell them 'Please let me wait for him, He will definitely come and take me with him. Let me wait' but I kept quiet. I was so sure about him, Despite knowing the fact that he won't come but I didn't lose hope on him. One day my parents understood my pain and just for the sake of it they tried first and last time by calling my In-laws but in vain, They told them clearly that 'Our son didn't want your daughter back and he was looking for an excuse for so many day's. He had already decided for getting divorced with her'. I never believed my ears when I hear this from my parents. I wanted to cry, but couldn't.
I had accepted him with my whole heart, Just didn't want him to be guilty in front of me that is why I never told him that I knew everything about his affair. I must have told him that 'I Love him' at least then he hadn't made his decision for leaving me forever. So here again I wasn't able to decide, What was right for me and what wasn't. Leaving you was not as easy for me as everybody asks me to do and living with you would be also hard. Those were the day's when I was undecided, Just listening to everybody but at the end of the day final decision would be mine. My decision would affect not only on me but on my parents also. At that time, I wished I could have changed my present day which got me & my parents in trouble and pain. I had never wanted to happen anything like this.


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My day's was becoming dark & night becomes even darker. I didn't want to talk to anybody from outside. So at that time darkness was better rather than being in the light. At least you don't need to face the crucial world, You don't need to see anything and nobody can see you also, whether you are crying or depressed. Darkness never lets you see what is happening, what had happened, and what will happen. For some time only you feel that whatever had happened to you was just a bad nightmare and nothing more than that. Day by Day you start Loving the darkness. After coming here I realized one thing that you become a lonely soul if you got separated with the one you Love the most. Everything changed for me, Sun was rising and going down on its own time. All season's coming and going only I was frozen with his memories. In the Winter day's I was on thin ice, Kind of a precarious situation. Summer came and I had melted like imperceptible, Monsoon came and I got wet in the rain of grief but still waited for him to come. I had nothing to explain to my parents. They weren't listening to me and I became feeble. What I should have explained them when they knew that my Husband doesn't want me in his Life anymore, Then what is the use going there and living with Him when he doesn't respect your Feelings, Your Love and your Emotions. He only cares about his self, His Feelings. I was Taciturn and Wordless after hearing all this Bitter Truth. And finally after thinking for so many day's I fall in with my parent's decision of leaving him forever.
We were separated for 9 months and Finally in the month of September we got Divorced.

Her One-sided Love Ended here. She lost all her Hope. Did she ever Love again?
If you have your opinion then feel free to discuss and give some more light on this Topic. It will be my Pleasure to hear your response.

Thanks for Reading & Be Blessed:)
COPYRIGHT - SHANAYA
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Please listen this song...as you read.

After reading my Hub, Can you decide on whom you should blame exactly for getting a Divorce?

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    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 5 years ago

      Good Morning Sweet girl,

      I am so proud of you for publishing another hub. You have written from your heart and that is what is the most important. I am not sure if this is your story but it is a sad story but with a message of hope. It is hard when someone has made a decision for another... I know us as humans do not like others to see the ugly truth and sometimes hide it... In this case, she was trying to please everyone around her. Love makes us do curious things sometimes. In addition, who is to judge someone that is not walking in his or her shoes? A young woman faced a heartbreak that could have destroyed her. Oh, the strength of this woman is one we all could learn from. I do not look at her as weak. I look at her as holding on to something with all her heart until she said I would move on. She has the heart of twenty men. My prayer is that this lovely woman who ever she may be has found joy and love once more. She deserves to be happy. She must make herself happy first not those around her. If she is happy with herself then all the other things will fall in place. I love your heart Shanaya..You are a sweet and lovely soul. Great job and I hope you will continue to write..

      Much love,

      Your hub mom,

      Sunnie

    • shanaya profile image
      Author

      shanaya 5 years ago from Living in my Own Dreams:)

      Hello My Dear Sunnie Mom! Thanks for stopping by and reading my Hub. It always feels good whenever I hear from you and your comments inspires me a lot. I really want to get off my fear and nervousness.

      Now lets talk about the Girl in my Hub, She had no choices left, That is why she agreed with her parent's decision but as written above She still has so many questions which are unanswered. But I really want her to MOVE ON with her new Life.:)

      Thanks so much for your comment

      With lots of Love & Respect

      from SHANAYA:)

    • profile image

      stessily 5 years ago

      Shanaya, this girl is searching outside of herself for love which she needs to see is already within her. I think that some people are able to cope in life without harmonizing their inner and outer lives, but this girl seems to me to want that harmony. She has seemed willing to accept a thwarted love, in which her heart gives more than she receives. But that could also be a revelation of the harmony which pulses softly through her life. She is loyal and respectful, and she believes in the power of love to bring about happy endings. That is a big challenge but ultimately the path in thwarted love circles back to the one who gives but is not receiving. She feels pain, which she softens with hope. Yet she does accept that her journey through the seasons has not produced a rebirth of love in her husband in the spring, has not blossomed into a second chance with him in summer. It makes sense that in September, she perceives the decay of autumn and has the courage to accept the reality of the winter (i.e., death) of her marriage.

      This narrator is sensitive, respectful, idealistic. So far she has been defined by contrast. Winter can be a time of soul-searching, especially after having taken a decisive turn away from the past. She is in tune with nature, so she is receptive to healing which occurs naturally when not resisted or opposed.

      Kind regards, Stessily

    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 5 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      This is interesting and I appreciate the update from the last hub (part 1). The partner was a curious person! Being in love with another but getting "forced" to marry the girl? What kind of guy does that? Or goes along with this? Clearly he gave in to pressure from his parents.

      Wow! This was not a marriage with love at the heart of it, it seems. He should never have gone through with it, but alas - he did and now the woman is trying to sort out the mess and figure who is to blame. No wonder so much misery and unhappiness unfolded.

      There is a bitter sting of recrimination and regret that follows a heartbreak like this. Looking beyond it is so hard, and getting beyond it is harder again.

      I have found that the human heart recovers and heals with time. A lot of it depends on who we are, and if we can learn to live with some things. But also, we do have our limits, and the heart can only endure so much.

      I hope this woman can free herself of the burdens of regret, and find the path again. I wish her the best for the future!

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 5 years ago from Lagos

      Wow! You re a great storyteller. So sorry for you sorrows & pain. Love can be a tricky business and can hurt like a two edged sword. I pray that in your weakness, God will energize you. Be blessed

    • stricktlydating profile image

      StricktlyDating 5 years ago from Australia

      Wow, you tell the story so brilliantly, so as a reader we go on the journey with you. I'm always a big fan of your work, and look forward to reading more. Best wishes.

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 5 years ago from home

      Shana,

      i gotta say this and I will only say this once ..maybe twice- i do tend to repeat myself...

      You cannot be faulted for- finding love where there is none- we all have stepped in the preverbial fire on this one... my feelings are that based on your story you tried to make it work but it did not when all was said and done- you should have no shame in that loyalty is a rare trait any available man would be lucky to have you - thirdly-or what ever # I am on-YOU sHOULD NOT BE ASHAMED I know things are different in ?Indian? culture? but I will say this you will have only 1 person you have to live with for the rest of your life and that is YOU....you must be happy with yourself first before you can be happy with another...

      ok enough psycobabble for one night-

      5th? live your life for you first because when your all alone - you must live with ypurself first....

      TH

    • TheDailyMessenger profile image

      TheDailyMessenger 5 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      To Shanaya,

      that was amazing in every way.it was a sad, sad story but, it was good. you should make a part three. most definitely. So, if you are thinking about it I vote that you do.:)

      TDM

    • shanaya profile image
      Author

      shanaya 5 years ago from Living in my Own Dreams:)

      Dear Stessily! I 100% agree with you. The girl in my Hub had seen many ups & downs in a very young age, After going through these kind of trauma, I hope she will stand up once again and find her true Love which she deserve.

      There are no words to show you my appreciation. Thanks so much for stopping by and your wonderful comment. Pleasure to meet you.:)

      with lots of Respect

      from SHANAYA:)

    • shanaya profile image
      Author

      shanaya 5 years ago from Living in my Own Dreams:)

      Hello Cassy {@Cheeky girl}! I truly appreciate your comment. I was in two minds in publishing part 2. LOL Sorry for the delay But Thank god I have done it and the result is outstanding, Just because all of you out there. Love ya.

      with lots Love & Respect

      from SHANAYA:)

    • shanaya profile image
      Author

      shanaya 5 years ago from Living in my Own Dreams:)

      Hey Ubani! That's so sweet of you. Thanks for stopping by and your wonderful comment here, I appreciate it. And Thanks for letting me know that I am a good storyteller. You felt her pain that is enough for me as a feedback. Am glad you liked it.:) Be blessed:)

      with lots of Respect

      from SHANAYA:)

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      In my culture marriages are arrange with parents consent. Though divorce and separation are quite rare compared to the western society, the couple live their life with no love and respect for their partners, and results come as trouble childhood for their children.

      I loved your work, it is beautifully evokes sad feelings.

    • shanaya profile image
      Author

      shanaya 5 years ago from Living in my Own Dreams:)

      My Dear Stricktlydating Ma'am! Thanks so much for sparing some time in reading my Hub and leaving insightful comment. My writing is getting improved day by day because of your encouraging comments. Thanks once again:)

      (:???Happy Thanksgiving???:)

      with lots of Love & Respect

      from SHANAYA:)

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 years ago from South Africa

      Shanaya, it is actually so easy to understand why things happened the way it had happened. But not so easy to disinfect and heal the wounds it had caused to your soul. Writing is the best way to do this. So keep on writing. Take care!

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Shanaya, I'm sorry I'm late, thank goodness I haven't missed this incredible piece of writing. I felt the pain and heartbreak. This girl deserves to be loved, we will follow her journey and hope that one day she will be.

      Keep writing my friend, take care MM

    • shanaya profile image
      Author

      shanaya 5 years ago from Living in my Own Dreams:)

      My Dear Sir Tom! I’m so grateful for having you here and Thanks very much for your wonderful comment and advise.

      Yeah you right but in some part of Asian countries some people will definitely point at her, Not because leaving her husband but for being kept quiet for 5 years. Either way they are looking for the fault from the female side. They don't want to understand the actual reason behind it because their job is to Blame somebody and particularly on Female. It's only about Blame game, Isn't it?

      P.S! Am sorry guys if I hurt anyone's feelings.

      With lots of Love & Respect

      from SHANAYA:)

    • icciev profile image

      icciev 5 years ago from Kuwait

      Well well Shanaya, this is interesting to know the reasons behind part 1. the girl in your story have a big heart and a true love, but eventually the blam is all on her although I totally hated her husband for his bad behavior she shouldn't watch her self falling dawn for someone who didn't even bother himself respecting her presence and what she did for him even if he don't love her. thanks for sharing this great story which I will definitely vote it up.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 5 years ago

      ...well my most dear SHANAYA I am most blessed to have your loyalty and support as a fellow and most respected hub colleague whom I truly admire.

      Like Sunnie Day has stated you write so beautifully from your heart and soul and with that great combination you certainly can't lose and can only win my affections for you as the wonderful writer and person that you are.

      Please accept my warmest wishes and I am sending you good energy from lake erie time ontario canada 10:49am

    • Cracknutcase profile image

      Cracknutcase 5 years ago from India,bangalore

      Dear Shanaya

      Your writing clear shows what a kind and lovely human being you are! I'm not sure if this is your story and if u had to go through such tormenting pain and heartbreak but I swear if this is about you, thr will come a day when you'll be loved so insatiably by your Prince who'll come along and treat u like his Princess, exactly the way you deserve to be treated.

      Have faith and May God bless You

      Keep smiling always :)

    • Astra Nomik profile image

      Cathy Nerujen 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

      I totally agree with Cassy. She makes sense. Also, the parents who pressure the young person into a marriage that there is fear or uncertainty about... that is not good. Having to commit to a relationship with a "stranger" can be terrifying to a woman with little experience.

      And then afterwards the whole thing is a mess on several fronts. If the daughter is being set up for a failed marriage, how can she cope?

      What kind of support can she ever hope for, from her parents after such bad advice and planning. What safeguards are there for the daughter? It makes forgiving her parents all the more harder, and much more stressful. It can destroy a whole family. It can be heart breaking to not only lose the marriage, but lose the Trust of siblings and parents also.

      It really forces this young woman into a total losing situation. And I am sure it happens to some guys...

      I cannot comment on the caste system as it makes me too angry now. But it is very real and if so many hate it, why allow it?

      In parts of Asia, life is a constant holiday for males but torture for females because the culture and system favors men over women. Why can't they be equal? The same for both?

      Being of Asian parentage, I wrack my brains trying to figure this, and no one can answer it. If you keep doing a thing over and over again and getting negative results, ask yourself what is the solution to this? Stop it.

      There are some marriages that do work. Just as there are women who love guys and want a happy life with the man they love. But out of every 100 couples that marry, how many have a successful marriage? Would that number change if the system changed?

      Does anyone care enough about the victims like this girl in the hub enough to want to do something about it? I have also heard that some cases result in some guys being victims too.

      Is blame the answer? I am afraid that some day, someone will say that some cultures have a bad or poor record in marriage successes and might put the word out that some societies don't "get" marriage. Marriages fail in many societies, maybe all societies.

      Marriages build up our expectations, like a great thing is about to happen to us. Marriage should only happen after we have served our time as couples who have either dates, or known one another long enough so that we are sure about the person.

      When I have that feeling of pure love in my heart for the person, it is the most incredible feeling in the world. It makes even a cold miserable day into a warm spring day of sunshine because so much sunshine is in my heart. Love has that effect on me.

      I can't be the only woman who feels this way when I am in love...

    • Astra Nomik profile image

      Cathy Nerujen 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

      If I knew this woman or I met her, I would politely offer this advice. (I think it could apply to guys in a similar situation...) Have a meeting with her family, address her parents and announce that no grudge is bore against them or the family and ask them not to apportion blame but agree to put it behind them all and move forward. Get them to address this first. It is the most important issue.

      If she has to rely on her family or ever call upon them, or even they or her siblings might call upon her, they can see that a support system now exists in this family and that the family pull together. This woman has a future by being more rational, and the whole family has a future too. Rise above the obstacle and climb over it.

      Of course doing this is the hardest part. And having the personal strength to do it is hardest of all. It will test everyone's faith. And true faith will either reveal itself or not. I am speaking from personal experience.

      Blame is like a drink of alcohol, it temporarily numbs and relieves our anger, and pain, but it never goes totally away.

      All I can say is if we do not try, we might regret it later for not trying to change things to make ourselves happier.

      (this is the longest hub comment I ever wrote)

    • girishpuri profile image

      Girish puri 5 years ago from NCR , INDIA

      very sad story with a message of hope, GOD bless you

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 4 years ago

      Dearest Shanaya, I feel quite obliged that you mentioned me in your hub.

      Aside from that when it comes to this hub and this particular situation I wouldn't say any 'one' person was at fault because this was the product of circumstances. In this particular story; all of the characters decided to go with the flow rather than standing up for what they believed in.

      If the man loved another woman; he should have married her but if he decided to be submissive to his parents and marry another woman then he shouldn't have taken out his anger towards his parents on her by ignoring her. So whilst the man was responsible in 2 out of 3 situations; the girl too was at fault because she should have spoken up. She should have fought for what was hers. By remaining silent for 5 years all she did was accept that it is her faith to not be loved.

      I believe that it is only when people stand up for what they believe in that they get what they deserve.

    • TheDailyMessenger profile image

      TheDailyMessenger 4 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Dear QudsaiP1,

      You know I didn`t think about the story like that but, you do bring up a good point. :-)

      TDM

      P.S. Hi Shanaya, longtime no see.

    • Raitu Disong profile image

      Raitu Disong 3 years ago

      I enjoy reading this. Very interesting! voted up!

      Good job Shanaya:)

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