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Bath Time for the Brain #1

Updated on August 7, 2017
Bella Allred profile image

Isabella is a student in Houston, TX and has been writing for several years. She is an avid reader, artist, and musician.

They say to write what you know. Unfortunately, as a high school student, I’d prefer not to waste my breath on calculus or physics, especially when I’ve chosen to write these hubs as a personal catharsis and not as an encyclopedia. Bathtime for my brain, if you will.

I’ve had a lot on my mind recently. A discussion on the family I participated in several days ago did a serious number on the positive persona that I’ve assumed lately, and brought with it a bit of a dip in the rollercoaster of life. I was asked multiple questions over the course of the discussion, the most memorable of which being, “If you could change anything about your family, what would it be?” Now just to be clear, I am very well off in terms of the materialistic, and I believe that ultimately my family members really do love one another. I am incredibly grateful that my parents have such a loving relationship, and that I do not come from a broken or abusive home as many of my closest friends do. However, it is invariably clear to me that our home is a quiet one as long as our opinions and ideas are exactly the same as our parents. If we are to have any semblance of peace in our house we cannot disagree, because our voices are silenced and we are punished for being a thinker at all divergent from the boss of the place.

There’s no disputing that we are well taken care of, and have never gone without our most basic needs addressed. It’s just really difficult for me especially as the oldest daughter to be called, “disappointment,” “inconvenience,” or “embarrassment,” or to have my mother assert that I am not worth having a relationship with. She’s a wonderful person, she is friendly, selfless and strong, but her words are often more bitter and striking than a slap to the face.

I suppose that by answering the question, “what would I change?” in black and white type, open for anyone to read, a part of me hopes that it will elicit change for someone out there, if not for my own family. Someday I hope I can look back at this and remember that my children are not me, that they deserve an opinion, that I owe them an open mind and apologies where necessary because being the parent doesn’t mean that I can do no wrong. I hope most of all that they will feel heard, and not trapped in their own home. I hope that someday, something good finds us all.

Until next time,



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    • Priyakulkarni profile image

      Priya kulkarni 2 months ago from Ohio

      Oh , good question . What would I change?

    • Bella Allred profile image

      Isabella Allred 3 months ago from Texas

      Thanks Eric, it's good to get feedback on this. I know that everyone has flaws within their families and that despite the one in my own, the love is still there. It's just difficult for me to remember that my own opinions matter just as much as those of my parents, and to combat it as a larger issue within society I do my best to teach my three younger siblings that their voices matter too.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bella, this is important serious stuff. If this is accurate, and I believe it is, then if we step back and look at the macro instead of the micro, we see that it hurts society. The castigating and finding fault in a person within a family is dangerous, if it is meant to silence disagreement.