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Beautiful and the Silver Arrow--Chapter 1

Updated on January 26, 2012

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, many hubbers are writing about romance. Of course, I would like to do the same, but I'd honestly rather not. So I'm writing a story that I have had in my head for a while, for your entertainment. This is a rough story and it will have a few chapters to it. Once again, constructive criticism is welcomed. I hope you enjoy chapter one.

Chapter One

High in the sky, at the very most Southern part of the world, a castle that is invisible to the eyes of man is located. This castle features hundred of rooms, and amphitheater, and a vast library. It is also the home of every cupid in existence. But even though every cupid calls this place home, they are not all there all the time.

Cupids are the messengers and the bringers of love to all humans. With a quick check on a human's compatibility and soul maturity, a cupid can fire an arrow and set true love in motion. Of course a cupid must be careful. If the cupid is not careful, two humans who are not compatible or are ripe for love can fall in love. Also, they can prick themselves on their own arrow and fall in love with a human. This above anything else is a real problem, for it is forbidden for a cupid to fall in love with a human.

Whenever a mistake is made by a cupid, the Silver Arrow must be used to reverse it. The Silver Arrow is one of the Three Great Arrows that cupids are in possession of and is the only way to remove a love from a human or cupid. But the only cupid that is allowed to retrieve the Silver Arrow from it's resting place is the High Cupid, Prince.

Beautiful frequently needed to request the use of the Silver Arrow. More often than not, whenever she was given an assignment, she would end up pricking herself or make the human fall in love with someone else other than the intended target. She would then have to speak with the High Cupid, Prince, about the mistake and beg for the Silver Arrow. At first, Prince was lenient with her. He was one who enjoyed all forms of humor. After a while, though, he found it more of a concern. Recently, he was getting angrier with her. Especially since the Bronze Arrow had him overworked.

Beautiful had spent an entire two days traveling on her wings and by the end of the third day, the wings felt like they were going to fall off. She was relieved when you finally gently landed on the roof of the huge clock tower in the middle of the city. This large city stretched out before her in all directions and the lights from the houses and buildings twinkled in the dark. She started to wonder to herself the name of the city, but soon decided it was not important.

She lifted her hand and tapped the flat end of her gold bracelet. A white light flickered then formed into a beam pointing to a window a few blocks away. This window was in the home of her new assignment. This person had reached maturity and it was time for love. All Beautiful had to do was hang around him, find another who had the same compatibility as him, and prick them both with her arrow.

"I'll show him," she muttered, stretching her wings and thinking of Prince. "I'm not foolish enough to prick myself three times in one year."


Eli sat on his couch, staring blankly at the television with a glass of some beverage in his hand. He had been depressed ever since he saw his girlfriend kissing a coworker of hers. She didn't even bother to say anything to him after she was found out. All she did was smile.

"Seriously, come out with me tonight. The new club is the perfect spot for girls! Let's get going." Eli's friends, Mark and Cindy, had barged their way into his apartment just around dusk. Mark knew where all the pretty girls hung out and had been suggesting those places for the past hour. "A new girl will make you feel a lot better!"

"Seriously, if you don't shut up I'm gonna punch you," Cindy snapped. "He was just dumped today. All he would be doing is rebounding."

"All the more reason to get out there. Rebounding or not, it'll make him feel great," Mark argued.

"He's not you! Don't you have any empathy?"

"We both know that none of us can read minds. It's stupid, anyway."

Cindy sighed. She had known Mark for years and was lately constantly wondering how he got into college with his vocabulary. She shook her head and turned towards Eli. "Cheer up, Favorite. There are other fish in the sea, but you don't need to find one immediately. Just rest up."

Eli glanced at Mark. He was very popular with girls and Eli was always being bailed on by numerous, spontaneous dates. If anyone could get over being dumped in one day, it was Mark. But Eli had never felt this way about anyone before her.

"Eli," Cindy continued, "she just wasn't the one. She didn't love you the same way that you loved her. It will take time to heal, but soon you will feel better. Now, it's about time we get going. Mark, let's go."

"What? But you're the one who dragged me here! And now we're leaving?"

Cindy got up and grabbed Mark's arm. She dragged him to the door while Eli followed. Mark and Cindy argued the whole time with Cindy exclaiming several times that Mark wasn't helping anyone. With hasty goodbyes, Cindy and Mark left Eli alone.

The room seemed to have gone strangely quiet, even with the television on. Books and papers littered his table and he considered trying to finish his research paper that was due in a week. He decided not to and turned his attention to the television. Eli watched that for a few seconds before turning it off and plunging the apartment into complete silence.

"Nothing to do but sleep," he muttered. Eli left the room to get ready for bed.

Beautiful had seen the sad looking man leave the living room. Slowly, she went through the wall of the building and set her feet on the ground. Looking around, she marveled at how clean it was in comparison to other guys his age. The only thing in disarray was the table.

She folded her wings and they disappeared into her back. She pulled out an arrow while looking at a few pictures that were around the room. One quickly caught her eye. It was the man in her assignment with his arms wrapped around a blond woman. They seemed to have been in love.

Beautiful ran her thumb over the flat of her bracelet and this time, instead of a white beam of light, the bracelet began to blink orange. She frowned and turned towards the window. She needed to get back to check on this. 'This hasn't been reported,' she thought with concern.

Just as she was about to bring out her wings, she heard footsteps and an exclamation behind her. She turned around quickly, gripping her arrow in surprise. In the doorway that led into the bedroom, Eli stood wide-eyed.

"Who are you? What are you doing here? I'm calling the cops if you don't leave right now!"

Beautiful stared at Eli in amazement. Although he threatened to call the cops, he stood still, eyeing her. "You can see me?" Beautiful managed to ask.

"Of course I can! " Eli took a small step towards the table where his cell phone was. Quietly, he spoke to himself, "Great, a psycho. Just perfect. Like this day could get any worse."

She took a step forward, unaware of the small pain in the palm of her hand. "Wait a minute. You can hear me too? How?"

"What do you mean, psycho!? I mean it, get out of here. I have nothing you need here and people who dress like that are just crazy. What are you, a cos-player?" Eli continued to inch his way to his table, making sure to keep an eye on her arrow.

"I'm a cupid. This is what we all wear," Beautiful replied, releasing one hand form her arrow and touching her dress. "How can you see me? Humans shouldn't be able to."

Eli nodded his head, almost in arms distance of his phone. She followed his path and sighed. Although she was curious as to how he could see and hear her, the fact that he could even do that was frightening. This, along with the warning light, was going to make her job all the more difficult.

"I'll guess I'll come back again later."

"Don't. If I ever see you again, I'll call the cops."

"I'll see you in a few days. But I hope you can't see me, at that time."

Beautiful turned around as her white wings came out of her back. Eli stopped, phone in hand, staring at her. His eyes widened, gazing at the wings that seemed to be made out of pure light. His breath caught in his chest when she left the room through the solid wall and was flying away. Eli began to think he was crazy.


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    • Cammiebar profile image

      Cammiebar 5 years ago from Upstate New York

      Thank you for your comments and your critique. I am still on the fence about giving Beautiful a description because she is suppose to mirror a person's idea of beauty, so it's a little difficult to put that into words. And the dialogue really makes me shudder because I'm not showing their emotions well enough just yet. I'll have to adjust the story five times over to be okay with it.

      Thank you for your criticism. I'll try better in my next few chapters so we both will be satisfied with it (I'm seriously not and the more I look at it, the more I hate it).

      All the best!

    • colpolbear profile image

      colpolbear 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      This is an interesting story. I found one piece of grammar: "She was relieved when you finally gently landed on the roof of the huge clock tower in the middle of the city." I do believe you meant "you" to be "she." As far as the characters are concerned, they also seem very interesting and dynamic. These next sentences seemed a bit odd for dialogue. I think it might be the repetition of "here": "I mean it, get out of here. I have nothing you need here and people who dress like that are just crazy." Criticism...criticism...Well I suppose I'm stumped on that one. I can't think of anything it needs. Maybe you might want to describe the size of beautiful a bit because I kept imagining her as tiny at first, as most fairy-like creatures are assumed to be....That's all I got. Great story and keep it going. This is an original concept!