Behind the kitchen doors, snippets of a hospitality life, starting over again
“I drove to Kananaskis last night.”
Laura didn’t expect that from him at all. She only mentioned that she might be there for a few nights and maybe they could meet up, but she didn’t think he’d actually drive to see her.
“I wanted to surprise you, I wanted to see you, but I was surprised to find out you could lie to me.”
She wanted to hang up the phone. He knew, he knew she knew, he knew it was over, this time for good.
“I saw your car so I checked under your name and you weren’t registered, so I tried his last name and he was registered. Hope you had a good time.”
“I’m sorry; you said you didn’t know what you wanted.”
“Well now I do.”
“Well now I live here and your still there. “
“You didn’t have to go with him.”
“Well I wasn’t going to stay there and be accused by your crazy girlfriend any longer.”
“That’s over, I told you that.”
There was more silence, they’ve had this conversation so many times that Laura wanted to scream. He let her put in her two weeks’ notice in, he let her pack the car and drive away from what they had. He let her go, and at the time she could only think how much this was his fault for letting her go, for letting her think that she needed to run away to start over, to forget him, but she couldn’t, she just couldn’t forget.
“Listen, I love you and I will always love you. If you can figure it out then let’s try to make it work.”
“I just transferred here, what am I suppose to do? I can’t put my integrity in jeopardy, I’m trying to move up in this business and it wasn’t happening at the lake, we both know that.”
“But, we weren’t going to stay here, remember. It was going to be you and me leaving together, but now you’re gone.”
He was doing it again, trying to make it sound like it was her fault, and sure it was some of her fault, she made the both of them believe that it was possible for them to leave the Lake, leave the partying behind, the drama, the lies, the life they’d come so accustomed to, easy money, expensive wines, parties that lasted for days. But they wanted to stop that lifestyle; they started to staying in the apartment more and more. Making dinners together, driving to Banff to the movies, not going to the parties and when they went to the staff bar they first started to leave before last call at one thirty in the morning, then before they broke up they only went to the staff pub two nights of the week and only went for one or two drinks, leaving before the rest of the crew got off shift knowing that once they
weren’t around the energy they wouldn’t be sucked into the over powering urge to just sit around and drink until the sunrise.
“I have to go, I just got a few tables, can I call you later?”
She didn’t know why she asked him if she could call later, of course she did, she wanted to hear his voice again, she was calm when she heard his voice, he knew her and she was a three hour drive away from him now, when it was only a three minute walk to his apartment. As Laura stood at the lobby lounge looking out at the beautiful Lac Beauvert, she thought she might have made the wrong choice to move with a guy who I knew had cheated on her and she still left with him. She took a deep breath.
“If you want too, it would be nice to hear from you.”
He was having a hard time without Laura, they were so happy during their time together. He trusted her with his life. He really did want to move away with her, start a life together, but now it was over and even if she did decide to move back to the Lake, he wasn’t sure if he was able to trust her again even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to help himself once he saw her, just being around her made him weak, he would do anything for another kiss from her soft lips. He heard her breath and then heard someone say that she got three tables and they’ve been watered. He knew that she was a professional and she’d feel guilty for not paying attention to the guests, because the conversation would be there after the shift. Then all of a sudden she realized that after her shift, he wasn’t going to be there to talk too, he would be at work and days might go by before they talked again.
She wanted to ask him if he still loved her, she needed to hear it one more time, one more time would help her leave Jasper and return to the Lake, just one more time.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. Please come back soon.”
She hung up the phone and she felt the tears burning down her face.
“Shit, now what?”
Laura stood by the lobby bar and looked at the three tables that sat down in her section, she waved at her colleague.
“Do you want my section?”
“Yes, I need to go home.”
Her colleague walked to the three tables as Laura quickly told her friend who was bartending that afternoon she was leaving for the day.
“I’ll call Greg and get him to cover my shift for tomorrow if I’m not back.”
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know, I just need some time.”
She didn’t need to explain anything, they saw her crying, they could assume it was a family matter and she’d lie if asked. She walked back to the staff accommodation that she hated already and opened the door to find that he had left for his shift already. He was trying to brown nose to get the winter junior sous chef position, he wasn’t thinking of their relationship at all, he only asked her to come to Jasper so that he could say that he won her over Brad.
She dropped to the floor, still in her uniform; she was crossed legged in the middle of their small loft room sobbing.
I really messed this up this time. Please help me.
She was looking for answers that she already knew the answers to. If she left Jasper now, she could transfer back to the Lake, get her same position back, there would be a little drama involved, but not as much as what was around the corner.