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Beset-poetry

Updated on January 11, 2012

Beset


It starts with the shakes,

a slight tremble that begins with my fingers

and runs to my toes.

The blood rushes through my veins,

too fast, spiked with adrenaline.

The shudders get worse.

And I know how a junkie feels

when he goes through withdrawal.

But I’m no addict

there’s nothing physically wrong with me,

Just panic without control.

My chest tightens, my lungs collapse,

like someone has trapped them in a metal vise.

Or maybe there’s just no air

and I’m drowning in my living room.

I know in a few minutes it will pass

and reality will snap back to normal.

All I need is a little control, a little strength,

and one deep breath.

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    • Casey Cooper profile image
      Author

      Casey Cooper 6 years ago from Collinsville, Illinois

      Thanks. I appreciate any and all criticism. I always strive to make my work better. I would be grateful if you would point out the weak points you see. Is it the beginning that you find weak? That seems to be the weakest bit to me. Thank you so much for commenting.

    • shea duane profile image

      shea duane 6 years ago from new jersey

      As an English teacher, I have to say this has the makings of a really fine poem. Your language is interesting and the concept is fresh. There are a few places where you become a bit vague and it weakens the poem. But you obviously know what a poem is and have talent. I would love to see you work on this a bit more. Yes, I'm a very tough poetry teacher, but this has so much potential. Very good work.

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