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Big Winner: Act II, Scene I
Johnny: A young man dressed in a running suit
Darrell: Johnny's friend, similarly dressed
Tyrone: Johnny's former co-worker, similarly dressed in running gear.
Yolanda: Tyrone's wife, an overweight woman, also in a workout suit.
4 assorted men - Johnny's other former co-workers, similarly dressed in running gear - Joe, Jack, Bob and Dave
4 assorted women - wives of Johnny's former co-workers - Danielle, Lori, Sheila, and Tanya
Security Guy Saul, suit and tie, briefcase
3 Postal Delivery People
Scene: Johnny's apartment: At beginning of scene, Johnny and Darrell are seated on the couch.
Darrell: I can't understand why you are not elated. Just in time, the day you're laid off, you hit the lottery. No trip to the unemployment office for you! But here you are, moping. I don't get it.
Johnny: You know why.
Darrell: Forget her. It was fate. She bailed on you for her Internet lover the same day you hit the lottery! It's her loss, man!
Johnny shakes his head. There's a knock at the door.
Johnny: Get that, will you?
While Darrell goes to the door and checks the peep hole, Johnny pulls a gun from the crack between the cushion and the arm of the couch.
Johnny: Who is it?
Darrell: It's Tyrone and Yolanda.
Johnny: (tucking the gun away again) So, let them in.
Darrell: Really? Okay. (opens door)
Tyrone and Yolanda push their way in past Darrell.
Tyrone: Hi, there, Big Winner!
Yolanda: Hey, sexy!
Johnny looks away, toward audience. Audience sees he is sorry he let them in already.
Tyrone: Thirty-four million dollars! Wow!
Yolanda: What are you sitting around here for? Let's go out and buy you a big fancy house with a swimming pool so all your friends can come over and party!
Tyrone: Yeah, a swimming pool. And a barbeque!
Yolanda: Yeah, and a jacuzzi!
Tyrone: Yeah, and a hot tub.
Yolanda: You stupid! A jacuzzi is a hot tub!
Tyrone: Oh. Uh. I -
Yolanda: (to Johnny) He is such a dumb ass! You know, honey, I heard about Ruth. Dopey here is passed out by nine o'clock every night. If you want I could stop over and (winks) keep you company. I know a thing or two. That's right.
Tyrone: (punches Yolanda in the arm) Shut up, woman!
Yolanda holds her arm and cringes as if expecting a second blow.
Johnny: Get out.
Tyrone: Oh, come on now, Johnny -
Johnny: I said get out.
Darrell: You heard him. Get the fuck out!
Tyrone grasps Yolanda by the arm and hauls her toward the front door.
Tyrone: Now you did it, bitch! Now you did it!
Yolanda: I was just trying to be nice.
Tyrone: No one wants your fat ass, bitch. (opens door) Get out there. (shoves Yolanda out)
Tyrone's slamming of the front door is interrupted by Jack, who catches it mid-slam on his way in. Johnny fetches the gun again, but replaces it when he recognizes his former co-workers. Enter Jack, Danielle, Bob, Lori, Joe, Sheila, Dave and Tanya
Jack: Hey, Tyrone. Yolanda.
Tyrone and Yolanda storm offstage.
Bob: What's up with them?
Danielle: I don't know.
Jack: Hi, Johnny, Darrell.
Darrell: Hi, guys.
Jack: Johnny, you probably got your hands full right now. We all are on are way to the unemployment office and we are not going to take up your time. We all heard about Ruth.
The rest of the coworkers and wives express agreement (Oh, yeah; yeah, man; etc.) and condolence.
Jack: We just want you to know we are not here to ask anything of you. You've always been a stand-up guy and we're going to be the same. We just want to wish you congratulations, and if you need anything from any of us, you just let us know. Right, guys?
Bob: Listen, after we're done at the unemployment place we're going to go hang out at my house. I'll be on the grill, serving up burgers and dogs. Jack's bringing the beer. We hope you'll have time to stop by.
Johnny: Thank you. Thank you. I sure will if I can.
Jack: Okay. We'll be looking for you.
Johnny: (smiling as he sits back down on the couch) Okay, guys.
Ex-coworkers file out Front Door with smiles and goodbyes, close door behind them.
Darrell: Those are some nice people. Man, you worked with good people.
Johnny: Yeah, I feel stupid now. I thought they'd be all over me for the money what with them all being out of work now and all.
Darrell: That's what money does, bud. But it probably is in the back of their minds, at least some of them. They gotta live, and they gotta be wondering how they're going to do that now. But a cookout is the right idea for day one, I think.
There is a knock at the door. Darrell moves to answer.
Darrell: I just want to tell you, I am not going to be your door man, okay?
Johnny smiles. Darrell looks through the peep hole.
Darrell: It's some guy in a suit.
Johnny: (pulling the gun out of the sofa again) Please ask him who he is?
Darrell: Who is it?
Saul: (through door) It's Saul from Sentinel Security. Mr. John Peters called me?
Darrell: (Over his shoulder to Johnny) You call a security guy?
Johnny: Yeah. Yeah. Let him in.
Darrell opens the door and Saul the Security Guy comes in.
Saul: (extending his hand) Hello, Mr. Smith. I'm Saul Simons from Sentinel Security.
Johnny: (standing) Pleased to meet you. Call me Johnny.
Saul: Okay, Johnny. Thanks for calling us. You said on the phone that you are a recent lottery winner?
Johnny: Yeah. Did you bring references like I asked?
Saul: Yes, sir, I have them right here. (Sets briefcase on the couch, opens it and retrieves papers) Here are some corporate references. We do not give references from individuals. Our individual clients value their privacy.
Johnny: I understand.
Saul: You'll also find a brochure outlining our services for individuals and families and a contract. We can either discuss details now or you can read over the materials and get back to me.
Johnny: Is there any way I can get protection today?
Saul: Well, I guess that's possible. I could probably get a man over this afternoon. But we don't work for anyone without a contract, sir, and I'm sure you'll want to read over the plans and call our references.
Johnny: I'm really more concerned about being safe. Is it possible for me to get out of the contract if I don't like the service?
Saul: Yes. Either you or Sentinel can terminate the contract at any time. The contract has more to do with your and our responsibilities. But since you can fire us anytime, you can sign on now if you like, then get your attorney to look over the contract at your convenience. There is no deposit or anything to lose.
Johnny: How much is the service?
Saul: It depends on the package. (opens sales brochure) I assume you would like your premises and person guarded by armed security officers twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
Saul: (checks off a box on the contract) Would you like twenty-four hour car service, so that you always have a security officer with you wherever you go in town?
Saul: And if you go out of town, do you want a mobil security detail to accompany you?
Johnny: Yes, I think I would have to have that.
Saul: Okay. (takes out a calculator and pushes some buttons) Yes. That is our Senatorial Package. Annual fee is one hundred eigthy-two thousand dollars. Includes a twenty-four hour armed detail covering your premises and person twenty-four hours per day, Ford car with certified, armed chauffeur, Upon twenty-four hours notice we will provide two officers to travel with you anywhere in the world when you go out of town. Transportation and lodging for security officers out of town is not included in the contract, so airfare, carfare, car rental and hotel are your responsibility. If our driver takes you out of town, the car and driver are included in the contract. Is that acceptable?
Johnny: (helplessly) I don't know. I want to do it, but I'm not so good at math. I will have to have someone help me figure it out.
Saul: I understand, Johnny. I will send over a man later this afternoon to be with you today and tomorrow while you sort things out. You will need to get with your attorney and your accountant to find out if our service is right for you. I'll leave you with the brochure and the contract ready for signature. Here also is my business card. When you come to a decision, please call.
Johnny: I will, Saul. Thank you for sending the man.
Saul: It's our pleasure. We think you'll be pleased with our service. Um, a little free advice, sir?
Johnny: What's that?
Saul: (pointing at computer) Unplug that computer until you get a firewall installed.
Johnny: What's a 'firewall'?
Saul: Have a good day, now.
Johnny: Have a good day.
Darrell: (closes the Front Door after Saul) 'What's a firewall?' You don't know what a computer firewall is?
Johnny: (goes to computer) All I know is wheels, brakes, mufflers and tires. That's all. Ruth was the smart one (starts to well up. bends down and unplugs computer)
Darrell: It's okay, man. You have enough money to hire people who know this other stuff. It's okay.
Johnny: (moving toward couch) One hundred eighty-two thousand dollars? Where to I get a lawyer? Where do I get an accountant? I am going to get so screwed.
Darrell: (following) Hold on now. We'll figure it out. My boss has an attorney and an accountant. I'll ask him who he uses. I called in today, but I'll tell him I need a few more days off while I'm at it so I can be with you. You ain't gonna get screwed. I told Debbie I'd go home and have lunch with her. You gonna be okay?
Johnny: Yeah, I guess.
Knock at the Front Door.
Johnny: Who the fuck is that, now? (goes to front door, looks through peep hole) Who's there?
Postal Delivery Person 1: (through door) Got your mail!
Johnny opens the door. Three Postal Delivery People come it, each with a large plastic bin full of mail.
Postal Delivery Person 1: Where would you like these?
Johnny: What is this?
Postal Delivery Person 1: This is your mail.
Johnny: Uh, okay. Put it by the desk. You sure this isn't a mistake?
Postal Delivery Person 1: It's all got your name on it. Mr. John Peters, right?
Johnny: Johnny Peters, that's me.
Postal Delivery Person 1: This is your mail. Let me guess. You just won the lottery?
Johnny: (cautiously) Yes.
Postal Delivery Person 1: This is all the women who want to marry you, or 'something' you, anyway. And a few men, probably, too. And a few hundred business offers. A few hundred pleas for help. But this is just the first day. These are just the people who are on top of who wins the lottery. Tomorrow there will be double this. Next week: triple.
Johnny is speechless. Darrell shows the Postal Delivery Persons out and closes the door.
Darrell: You going to be okay?
Johnny: Look at all the people who know I'm rich already. Just look at 'em.
Darrell: Listen, I can stay. Let me just call Deb and have her bring us over some lunch. I'll hang with you and call my boss for his attorney and his accountant.
Johnny: No, no. You go. I'll be fine. Go ahead. Come back after.
Darrell: You're sure about this now.
Johnny: I'm sure. I'll be okay.
Darrell: All right, then. I'll bring Debbie back with me and we'll spend the afternoon getting you on track. If I were you I would not answer the door until I get back.
Johnny: I can handle it.
Darrell: Okay, then. I'll see you in about an hour and a half.
Darrell exits by the Front Door.
Johnny walks slowly over to the couch. The phone rings. He ignores it. He sits on the couch and gets comfortable. He retrieves the gun from the crack in the couch and holds it in his hands, considering it, his elbows on his knees.
End of scene.