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Updated on December 26, 2017

Being Bipolar is not normal,

but it's normal to me,

having screaming silent conversations in my head,

loving life one moment at peace with the world,

in the blink of an eye..........wishing I'm dead,

soul wrenching blood pumping anxiety,

paranoia sweeps across my face,

everyone thinks I'm crazy,

strangers think I'm a disgrace,

turmoil is my shadow,

emotions that wrestle become shallow,

eyes that become vacant,

seem so hollow,

friends come with a smile,

misunderstandings abound,

words like leaves tumble to the ground,

drugs prescribed don't work for me,

feeling numb uncomfortable bliss,

like a shadow amongst the stars,

look away you want to miss,

being alone in a crowd,

is my passion of oneness allowed,

images cascade inside my mind,

blurred fuzzy whispers reside,

friends, family social outcast,

in the race for love I'm always last,

smiling happy faces all around,

make me sad then I feel bad,

I'm always lost never found,

I can't explain my misery,

its like walking a narrow path,

a prisoner of my tormented soul,

who just wants to be free,

being alone is a pleasure,

laughter can make me cry,

diamonds are my tears my treasure,

smiles my disease,

conflicting voices laugh and tease,

how do I explain what I don't understand,

describe what I cannot see,

feel what I cannot touch,

would you hold my hand,

am I asking to much,

I'm unique in my world,

others similar outreach,

being polar is a lesson,

to others I want to teach

© 2011 Mark Hodges


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  • rjsadowski profile image

    rjsadowski 6 years ago

    Hang in there. My sister struggled with Bipolar disorder for 20 years before it was properly diagnosed and treated. Back then, you were manic-depressive. Finding the right medication to treat it and even finding the right doctor was trial and error - but she did.

  • Mark Psychedlic profile image

    Mark Hodges 6 years ago from Birmingham UK

    thankyou blessings namaste

  • suzettenaples profile image

    Suzette Walker 6 years ago from Taos, NM

    This is poem is beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. The photograph is especially poignant. I wish I could touch you, hold you in my arms and stroke your forehead and tell you it will be all right. You probably think that's rather goofy, but I have so much empathy for you. Keep writing, thought! Perhaps it will help you with the frustrations you must feel on a daily basis. You would be helping the world, and your life would not be in vain, if you shed light and knowledge on this illness. We could all learn from you. You story has really touched me and I'm going to look into this illness myself and see what I can learn about it. I feel so helpless when I read this poem. I wish there was more I could do. Voted up!