ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Black Dog in the Shadows

Updated on January 2, 2014
Depression from Eddi flickr.com
Depression from Eddi flickr.com
The dog black labrador from Dmitry Baevskiy flickr.com
The dog black labrador from Dmitry Baevskiy flickr.com
Black Dog from Dale wants a better screen flickr.com
Black Dog from Dale wants a better screen flickr.com
Face of Depression from Brain Mooney flickr.com
Face of Depression from Brain Mooney flickr.com
Thirst for freedom from Aleksey Narko flickr.com
Thirst for freedom from Aleksey Narko flickr.com
Freedom from fotobaba / GK flickr.com
Freedom from fotobaba / GK flickr.com

Black Dog in the Shadows

By Tony DeLorger © 2014


A momentary lapse and maudlin thought arrests me,

and the trail is long and arduous,

each thought leading to another, ad infinitum,

until perceptions are lost in grief,

and the emotions ascend in torrents,

beheld in the weakness of an overwhelming oppression.


This is the moment to moment reality,

of running with the black dog,

forever at the periphery of thought and emotion,

lurking in the shadows of dark experience,

the terror of incessant anxiety,

and the fear of slipping into the abyss.


No matter the remedy, the black dog is unfailing,

its persistent yet patient ploy ever ready to undermine,

and I, aware of it's intent, stay alert, looking for those signs,

that lapse of cognizance that opens the door,

and well-worn paths appear, smooth and unencumbered,

to deliver us to that edge of confusion and excruciating life.


Forty years have transpired and the dog sits by my side,

well-behaved and obedient, until I slip and a thought strays,

then those dark crystal eyes peer into my soul and prod my secrets,

enlivening the hurts and fears that lurk in my subconscious,

feeding them into a frenzy,

until they flood my mind with doubts and confusion, pain and sorrow.


I face this beast every moment of every day,

and know I always have choices, always have intellect, reason,

yet the dog is smarter than I, and knows those pathways,

knows when I am weakened and even in sleep lies beside me,

waiting, as quiet as a fallen zephyr,

until one turn, one thought, one doubt invites his malevolent intent.


The black dog is my companion, and my nemesis,

and he teaches me more than I knew of myself, before,

yet one becomes exhausted being so vigilant,

so introspective, so detailed in thought and action,

and I still pray that one day he may leave my side,

and I could experience freedom, truly.


Vigilant is the mind of awareness, always at the ready to vet the thoughts of carelessness.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      4 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      I'm glad you related to it, Angela. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

    • Angela Ohm profile image

      Angela Ohm 

      4 years ago from Beach Park, Illinois

      I can relate. This is a wonderful poem, Tony.

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      4 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      All true Maria. It is a curse and a gift, yet another metaphor for life with its joy and pain.

    • scrittobene profile image

      Maria D'Alessandro 

      4 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Ah yes. What writer doesn't have a black dog sitting at his feet as he quills poetry and prose straight from the corners of his dark heart and from the cracks of his distorted mind. The black dog has been responsible for some great works for he often ensures that no words of hypocrisy dare stain the page. He offers poets enlightenment and stories and ideas about the darkest of secrets. Secrets that would otherwise be buried and never given flight. Good write Tony.

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      4 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Thanks John, glad you related. Have a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year to you and yours.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      4 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Wonderful poem Tony, Depression can be a debilitating thing. I have two black dogs of my own already, so I'm not offering to take yours on too, sorry. All the best, Happy New Year.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)