Blacken the Angel
Uriel sat close to the river of blood that flowed beneath his feet. Staring, he weighed the past, the present, and the non-existing future. Somehow, he knew, staring at his reflection that was stained in red, that his mere existence was there to shatter; to break and disintegrate at his Master's wish. HE desired so, and Uriel had to comply.
He has never seen his reflection before for he was, supposedly, divine and surreal that pure mundane eyes could not perceive. Yet, clenching his fists, he felt a surge of unidentified emotions. They burned within what felt like a heart; they spoke of hatred, betrayal and loss. Glaring at his reflection for the second time, he listened to that heart beat, and with every beat he felt the hatred burn in his veins, creeping little by little into his system.
Once, he was a void, an instrument of HIS,yet, that was all in the far away yet near past. Somehow, he had forgotten under all that rage that he was not allowed to have mundane emotions. Somehow, he had forgotten how to be the divine creature he was. Somehow, after all that has been and occurred, he felt betrayed and fell prey to mere human emotions.
He clenched his fists screaming curses under his stilling breath. Soon, he would be burning in anger and rage, breathing and panting demanding to scratch that reflection of his that stared him in the eye claiming his demise. He wanted to tear out HIS face, wanted him to feel the misery that he bestowed upon him, but more importantly, he wanted HIM to justify how he could destroy such a fragile pure creature.
HE, had no right, though he claimed to be supreme over these worlds. YET, HE had NO right; HE could not justify his acts. HE had no right and his mere supreme EXISTENCE did not make it RIGHT.
Right? After all, who was he to question what was right from wrong. Uriel knew, and knew well that he was just a toy. They all were, and their sole purpose of existence?
He remembered, and it fell upon his unsettled heart like a boulder. He was there to serve as HIS pawn. He was HIS weapon, his slave, and he, answered to HIM, obeyed HIM, and bowed to HIM; HIM no other than his master of heavens and 7 underworlds. Yes, he was his mere archangel slave who was created as a mere pawn, who has now been cast out of his world of divinity and trapped in a human yet inhumane body.
Uriel stared at his body, what a disgraceful human form has he been rendered to. His divinity and superiority was shrunken to dust, yet, he was never seen himself better than those humans. He has never looked down upon them. In fact, he eyes their ignorance for they knew nothing of the Master's plans. He wished he was as ignorant as them.
Uriel clenched his fists, "NO, this is not acceptable!". He rose from his feet fueled by his hatred and anger and he directed his feisty eyes at the sky above asking, no, demanding for answers. Why had HE done that, with all his grace, his purity, his vast forgiveness, why would he do such horrible acts.
His anger fueled his in-divinity; it ate him from the inside out. Prying on his now growing hatred, it transformed him. Trembling, his feet gave in, and his head and vision split into two. Ripping and pushing, the beastly instincts took over, driving his sanity off the edge. He was now at a place where he can no longer go back. He has been taken over by the hatred.
His beautiful feathers fell to the wet riverbank after they had turned charcoal grey. As they gracefully touch the damp soil, they turned to wicked maggots at his feet. Those treacherous beasts not satisfied with the dampness provided by the soil set sail to find some flesh to nibble on. As he watched the maggots climb his barren feet, he saw his flesh rot and the meat break. Puss covered the newly opened wounds to welcome the new inhabitants that took the later events as a way one ticket to feed on his rotting existence. For once, he was struck with fear and forced himself up in the air. Soon enough he knew that his wings were the first thing that gave up on him and seconds later he saw himself crash into the damp river.
The water with its purity cleaned his rotting skin and falling flesh yet it burned him in a manner that was new to him. He has always sat by the river spreading his wings and bringing life into the forest of Eden that he was given to guard. He has always breathed life into this river and sang a Hymn to the Lord to bless the river. He has always, but now, the river has spat its poison as a reward to his thoughtless deeds.
His anger burned deep inside him as he remembered how pure acts were met acts of destruction from his SIDE. He remembered her running through the forest with his incense in one hand and an offering to HIS grace. He remembered how she lit the incense and prayed that little prayer of hers. He remembered her yellow face and replayed her prayer in his head and beating heart over and over again.
She prayed as she bowed her head to her lord, "I now see that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are! Thank you Lord for giving me this short life and making me live it without any regrets."
He remembered how the darkness fell upon the forest suddenly, and how HE sent his little minions into Uriel's sanctuary, into a land where no evil can prevail, into HIS own Eden and after that little girl. Uriel knew that it was an act of intervention and that HE has decided to end her life but he did not understand why. The little demons went past Uriel and for the little girl who bowed at her Lord's shrine repeating her humble prayer. She was at such a trans that she saw nothing come at her. It was supposed to be a fast merciful death but it wasn't.
In no time Uriel was there shielding the girl and cutting through the demons. Why has the lord sent them after her, after all, they were dark creatures and she was a pure little child in the middle of a prayer. As her vision was veiled like all other humans, she saw nothing, but felt there presences clash and she ran terrified out of her sanctuary. Before leaving, she bowed one last time, and took her leaving running without taking a look behind.
She ran with all her might trying to out do her time and her maker. She was scared, not of death that for sure awaited her, but of what she could not see. Her body was failing her and she knew it, but it was failing her before she came into the sanctuary to pray. She ran until she was out of breath, until her legs demanded of her to stop, yet she ignored them and ran to her full limit.
She felt the forest soil tremble under her feet. It shook with every step she took and the trees and branches scraped her face and arms that failed at protecting her angelic yet yellow face. She forced her body into another sprint as she heard them approach her. She bit her inner lip trying not to faint as she ran herself out of breath and felt the bitter taste of her blood flood her inner cavity. Yes, it has always been her blood that made her suffer and even in her finals moments she thought it taste weird as if something was wrong with her own blood.
How could she know? She knew nothing about cancer, yet, she could feel her death approach from afar even before she felt the sickness drain her life force.
The wild trees and plants brushed her face adding more fear into her body, blinding her sights. She ran with all her might aiming to out run fate and its treacherous schemes but she failed at seeing that trap the sisters of fate had for her. She kept feeling the floor beneath her, yet concentrated on simply running forward hoping to make it into a safe spot. She ran until the floor gave in, and her foot felt no further ground to push forward using. That is when she her shriek tore the silence of the sanctuary and the animals who were busy with their riddles in life and prayers and offerings to the Lord stopped.
So, she fell!
She felt her life force drain and her screams silenced by the intoxicating wind. Her lungs have finally given up on her and her hands were flung in the air touched, caressed, and scraped by the intensity of her punishment. She lost consciousness as she surrendered to her inevitable death. She has lost faith in grappling death; she has been doing that for over three years and she was simply to tired to be up for another round. Unconsciously she decided to let go, hoping, and praying to find an end to her misery. Her mother has told her that praying to a Lord that has deserted her when he created her frail and fragile body was of no use. He had no ears to listen and no heart to reek of sympathy.
And so she fell, into the abyss of lucid darkness never to wake up again.
Uriel laid the girl on the riverbank and watched her breathing stabilize after her placed a four-leafed clovers over her wounds and passed on of his feathers on her wounds. She was breathing, deeply, yet shallowly at the same time. From the rhythm of her heartbeat, he knew she hand not much time left. All that running has strained her body, and she has simply pulled the last straw.
He listened to her panting in pain, and listened to her heartbeat disappear and reemerge only fainter and weaker. Her fragile body was stiff and only her beating heart was a sing of her soon to disappear existence. He waited for the night to claim her soul yet she would not give in to that just yet. And every time her heartbeat disappeared for 4 to 8 seconds he would close his eyes to search for it again knowing that her soul had no left her body yet.
And he waited for what seemed mundane hours yet mere seconds in his world, and after an hour or so she was mumbling in her sleep words that only ignited feelings of empathy into his non-existing heart.
"Dear lord, just do not make my mother cry !"
"Oh, do not worry my child I will not make your mother cry; I will make her suffer", said the voice that echoed from the river.
In a split of a second, and before Uriel got the chance to turn to the source of the sound, a gigantic hand had the girl in its palm.
"Uriel, oh wicked servant of mine, how dare thee go against my will? It was I your master who created thee body and bestowed your name and with that name of yours I granted you power to guard my sanctuary until the end of time. Had you seen yourself so grand to oppose me? I, the King of all heavens and earth, I who created you and thousands like you with no effort. Heed my words, you shall travel my sanctuary as a lost creature that has lost its divinity. You shall fall prey to your wicked mundane emotions that you have developed. And you shall die with night fall and eaten by nothing but those maggots to the bone only to be reborn at dusk. You shall rot with human emotions until you detest them and yourself but you shall witness their demise before your own for there is no remorse and no redemption for those who go against me."
He watched the girls body get crush and thrown into the river that was stained red with her blood and stood motionless. It was meaningless to find wisdom in HIS actions and he for sure knew that he was cast out of heaven. He was tainted and soon no mere the divine creature he was. He started to stare at the blood that painted the whole river from its main source up to its estuary. He sighed in pain, and into the river he ventured and claimed the girl's body.
Easily, he set the remains on the sand and pug with his own hands a small grave that fits her body. One strike after another he placed her into her new tomb and covered her remains. With his remaining power, he grew flowers over her grave and make sure to pray for her soul to find some peace.
Kimi no Kioku ~Your Memories