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Bled Myself Dry

Updated on August 30, 2010

I was there when you cried

Since I saw you on that day,
On the saddest day,
I have felt a fierce protectiveness
For when a heart was too big for a body,
It left us, and left us lost.
When strength turned into a thin whisper,
And a vibrance to a mist...
When life showed once again, its fickle and cruel side.
And then it was over, and they cried, and I cried.

I still hurt for them,
And want to put them somewhere safe,
That would guard them from what lies ahead,
Too many hurricanes have blown through their house,
And I don't believe it can weather another, or even a heavy rain.
So I tried to tell you that I loved you, as a lost child...
And that I saw beyond the strong facade,
So when I fight for you, it is for this.

I have driven myself to many insanities,
For either I care too much, or care not at all...
I have piled on the anguish and regret,
And filled my heart with doubt and shadows,
I have given myself no rest, though repentant and changed.
But for you, for all of you, I would stand up and be better,
And I tried, but you couldn't see it... or didn't want to.
It only reminded you that I was there, and had cried with you.

Take this burden off of me!
Have I not bled my veins dry for a second of your happiness?
Have I not cried away the joy from my body?
Yet you mock my love, my sadness for you.
Instead of accepting my protection, you exploited it.
If you saw into my heart you would know that I only longed to give you shelter,
That I carried around this weight for you,
That I never forgot, that though angry now, I am still sad for you...
Yet you have made a fool of me.

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    • russiangypsygirl profile imageAUTHOR

      russiangypsygirl 

      6 years ago

      M-S, thank you for reading. I am not sure what you are going through, but there is something I have learned from much time in solitude. My own thoughts and feelings are not enough... Sometimes it takes a true and trusted friend, or the wisdom of a passing stranger to get a firm perspective on where I stand; whether it be in a valley low, or mountain high. My thoughts to you. All the best

    • Moms-Secret profile image

      Lissette 

      6 years ago from Central Florida

      I loved your poem. I can only hope that I am not making people feel like this since there is so many offers to be helped and I choose distance and solitude. It is not personal, I am just not in the position to know what I need help with yet. Your poem made me think...

    • russiangypsygirl profile imageAUTHOR

      russiangypsygirl 

      8 years ago

      DarkDisOrder, am intrigued by your name... and your comment. Thank you.

    • DarkDisOrder profile image

      DarkDisOrder 

      8 years ago from B.A.D. (Beyond All Dimensions)

      Ahh, emotion and creativity, being absorbed by your hands and manifested into this hub, well done...

    • russiangypsygirl profile imageAUTHOR

      russiangypsygirl 

      8 years ago

      Thanks so much M.M. for reading this.

    • Moulik Mistry profile image

      Moulik Mistry 

      8 years ago from Burdwan, West Bengal, India

      Loved the touch of sadness, very touching...

    • russiangypsygirl profile imageAUTHOR

      russiangypsygirl 

      8 years ago

      Thank you so much PoetLorraine. I am glad you enjoyed it and it made you feel something. All the best, Gypsy

    • profile image

      poetlorraine 

      8 years ago

      brilliant, i so enjoyed this

    • profile image

      nicholsgirl 

      8 years ago

      I really appreciate how you can express the most profound and private feelings.

    • russiangypsygirl profile imageAUTHOR

      russiangypsygirl 

      8 years ago

      Thank you so much, Sherbet Penny, for your words. Wolfpack, you flatter me...and have encouraged me. Thank you all for reading.

    • prettydarkhorse profile image

      prettydarkhorse 

      8 years ago from US

      nice one again,

    • wolfpack5 profile image

      wolfpack5 

      8 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Wow I dont really know what to say, other than that is a fantastic hub, Great job....

      Have a good night :)

    • Sherbet Penny profile image

      Sherbet Penny 

      8 years ago from Galway, Ireland.

      Another strong piece Gypsy, very deep and melancholy, well done and very well written. Title has a strong element to it also.

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