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Bleeding Out in Eternity

Updated on March 19, 2015
Larry Rankin profile image

Larry Rankin, an experiened writer, enjoys creative writing in all forms, from literary to mainstream.

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An old box fan infiltrates the abyss of a silent world. A darkness fills the room thicker than light. It is a miracle a hand can slice through it; a body's breathing chest is not smothered by the weight of an infinite black box. In pitch nothingness a twelve by fifteen-foot room becomes an endless expanse. A wall not felt of by a human hand must not be there.

It is everything for an imagination, covered in black. It is sex, and it is sand; It is if, and it is and--just beyond the fingertips. Yes, time could stop here if it wasn't for the red neon numbers in the distance. Too tired to unplug it, I am always its slave. Too conscious to forget it is there, I fear it will beckon, "AWAKE!" I fear the light will come in and disturb eternity.

It is sex, and it is sand; It is if, and it is and--just beyond the fingertips.

The fan groans, it blows upon my skin, and the warm wetness covers my soul; makes it shiver. The tin of it shakes to my annoyance. It is missing a left foot. Off kilter, it must have been moved from its position atop a dictionary. It is a shame it can be heard. It makes it harder to be everywhere at once. Remembering it is beside me is as bad as light. For with something beside you there must be distance, there must be an end, and again there is time, 5:40 on a clock, not accurate any longer, 5:41. It is so cold. To turn it all off, I am far too tired for that.

I don’t know if 5:42 will come. It is inferred. I can't imagine anything else when the changing numbers are all I can see.

Source

The blue comforter must be a mess in all the moistness. Ah, but it does not have to be blue. It has to be wet. I can feel it is soaked, and somewhere up in the sky there is an angel. I can see her. “Why must this dark world be so cold and wet--so filled with distractions?” No answer. 5:45, the last three slipped me by. Is it a clock, or is it God? Is it an equation for me to give order to? Forty-five divided by five is nine. 5:46, the proof no longer holds true.

...and somewhere up in the sky there is an angel. I can see her.

Source

There are approximately two seconds between each rumble of the fan. Six and four are ten; divided by five is two. Two is equal to the intervals of annoying metallic grunts I hear beside me. Then dividing those I have one. You can't go any farther than that with it. It must be the meaning of life in my dark universe. 5:47, it isn't anymore. Damn this is hard! Stupid clock! Why does it change? If I could turn it off, If I could turn off the fan I would have zero. If I could do that, I would be God.

If I could do that, I would be God.

But to try, I am so cold and wet. The fan sounds close. How close is it? It could be miles away. I'd never survive the walk. The light, the speed of light is said to be the fasted thing there is in another universe I once knew. It could be faster here. It could be slower. I might be able to reach it with my outstretched hand. It might come from the farthest expanses of heaven. It could burn the flesh to touch it. It may poison my body with snake venom. I'm not God. God would never be as tired as this.

Source

I expected 5:48 to come. It has not. Instead a single red sphere inhabits space three inches or a million light years away. How odd to see it flicker off and on. It warms my ice-cold skin. The rumble has stopped all together on its own. Silence and the light burns out.

Silence and the light burns out.

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    • jgshorebird profile image

      Jack Shorebird 2 years ago from Southeastern U.S.

      Second read. Still good. Fills a void.

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      JG: lol, always glad to bring a bit of darkness. You know, I do some light stuff too.

    • jgshorebird profile image

      Jack Shorebird 2 years ago from Southeastern U.S.

      I will never look at my digital clock again...if it is 5:40. That time just pisses me off now. Thanks for nothing. Wicked dark. Comatose enlightenment. Thanks for the mind twist.

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Mr Archer: so glad you found this at such an appropriate time.

      Thanks so much for dropping by.

    • Mr Archer profile image

      Mr Archer 2 years ago from Missouri

      How odd that I found this and read it this morning, when this morning between 5:30 AM and 6:00 AM was exactly like this for me! I awoke and saw the time, then closed my eyes for an eternity before re-opening them and seeing 5:31. On and on and on it went until I gave up and got out of bed. Perfect example of what one experiences in this mode of non-sleep sleeping. Great job!

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Ann: thanks so much for the kind words:-)

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      Outstanding story! The atmosphere and tension is palpable. The thought process is fascinating. Well done!

      Ann

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Nadine: this is a literary work, but I also do a more mainstream style.

      Thanks so much for the compliment:-)

    • Nadine May profile image

      Nadine May 2 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

      You write very well, what I call literature writing! Exquisite

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Jackie: thanks so much for the positive endorsement. You make me blush.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Great writing and loved your profile and if you weren't already racking up the awards I would have had to have given you a "hug"! I see you are doing fantastic on your own. Will mark and share though!

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Shyron: I am happy you found it to your liking. Thanks so much for dropping by.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 2 years ago from Texas

      Wow! Larry this is amazing, I felt like it was the dying of a soul, not just the body.

      Voted up, AI and shared. Great job.

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Lee:thanks for dropping by and I'm so glad you enjoyed the story.

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 2 years ago

      Larry,

      I thought that was me - or my computer - with the rating gage. I am glad that it was not.

      Kevin

    • profile image

      Lee Cloak 2 years ago

      A beautiful piece of writing, very enjoyable, really interesting stuff and really well written, thanks , voted up, Lee

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Kevin

      Thanks so much for dropping by and for the support. Sorry the rating gage didn't work. I've had trouble with them on occasion, too.

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 2 years ago

      Congratulations Larry that was good. I liked it. I tried to give it 4/5 stars but only 1 lit up - I did not click it since I could not get the number which I wanted to rate it. I voted it up, shared and pinned it.

      Kevin

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Jodah: glad you enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to reading more of your stories.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Interesting and well written story Larry. I've often woken only to be in limbo for awhile and my surroundings seem distorted imilar to what you describe. Enjoyable read.

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      FlourishAnyway: thanks so much for dropping by.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      That is beyond what my great grandmother used to call "bone tired." Especially in the early morning hours when you've had insomnia all night you go into the zone. You describe it well, especially with the clock and the "math."

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Will: I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 2 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Superb, and read three times to pick up all the nuance, but unsuccessfully I'm sure.

      Wow!

    • Larry Rankin profile image
      Author

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thank you so much for the praises.

      It was actually your recent work on depression that inspired me to publish it.

      I actually had this particular story published before in a literary mag about 15 years ago.

      Ps I very much share your opinion that writing can never be perfect.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bravo! Larry, this is exquisite, and believe me, I don't say that often. Near-perfect writing, and I only say "near perfect" because I don't believe any writing to ever be perfect....so my highest praise for this beautiful work.