- Books, Literature, and Writing
Book Review: Is He Straight? The Checklist for Women Who Wonder by Bonnie Kaye, M.ED
Have You Ever Wondered if your Husband/Partner is Gay?
I could only pick up one radio station at work and the afternoon talk show was hosted by a couple of morons. Their guest this one day was Bonnie Kaye, M.ED who had just revised her book Is He Straight? The Checklist for Women Who Wonder.
I'm not sure if Kaye could hear a lot of their comments (probably not since they were talking over her while Kaye spoke) and at the time, I was looking for some material to review.
So I sent a request to Kaye for a copy of her book. I had hesitations about reading it since I thought this was a bitter woman who was getting even with her ex husband who happened to be gay.
Was I wrong.
Kaye writes with compassion to the many women who discover their husbands are gay or bisexual and also offers up her stories on how three previous boyfriends were gay. She tells us how clueless she was of her potential mates and after divorcing her husband in the early '80s, she was left with two small children and a life ahead of her (what she thought) would be lonely.
Like many women, she thought she was alone and had no one to turn to until she read an article in a national woman's magazine about straight/gay marriages. She felt as though a burden had been lifted and looked in her local phonebook and to her surprise had found a phone number for Women Involved with Gays (WIG).
While the call didn't offer too much information she was informed that a couple dozen women had called and eventually she formed her own support group and began to learn and come to terms with the "gay lifestyle." The support group lasted three years and during that time she was able to learn a lot.
At some points throughout the book I could still sense a little bitterness, but for the most part this is a book anyone can identify with. It doesn't matter what type of relationship you're in but the underlying meaning is you can go on with your life no matter what the circumstances.
Sometimes I found myself asking questions and a few pages later Kaye was presenting an answer. One of the other things about the book I found interesting is she doesn't always address the woman's side but delves into children who are effected.
I would highly recommend this book based on the above factors and while reading it I felt like I had my own therapist giving me advice (even when it came to non sexual issues) and this was one book which reminded me of past relationships.
Now I can go on with my life.