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Breaking News: Author Wodke Hawkinson Admits to Damning Allegations

Updated on June 27, 2011

Investigative journalist, Ima Lyer, here with another in-depth exposé. I managed to track down author, Wodke Hawkinson, yesterday outside the Suds N Buds, a combination laundry supply store and pen pal service. Sneaking out with a sack in his hand, he was unprepared for an on-the-spot interview.

The Interview

Me: Mr. Hawkinson, reporter Ima Lyer here. I’d like to ask you a few questions about your book.

Wodke (stopping): Sure. It’s called Catch Her in the Rye and it’s a collection of short stories…

Me (interrupting): Not that book. I’m talking about the book Tangerine.

Wodke: That one hasn’t been released yet. How did you…

Me: I obtained an early pre-release copy and read it from cover to cover. At least I do my homework before writing something. Do you know there are serious allegations that the material in your book is completely false?

Wodke: False? Well, novels generally….

Me: Are you trying to avoid the subject of Tangerine?

Wodke: Well, no, I just thought….

Me: I’ll do the thinking around here. Now, this book of yours contains many references to space travel. What qualifies you to write about this subject? Have you ever been in space?

Wodke: No, but…

Me: Just as I thought! Not only is Tangerine implausible, but I allege that the events in the book are totally bogus. Do you deny it?

Wodke: It’s a fiction book.

Me: My point exactly. Now, let’s get into some specifics. Have you ever seen a feline-type alien?

Wodke: No, but…

Me: And where exactly in the universe is the planet Tangerine? Can you point it out to me on a map?

Wodke: Of course not. You see…

Me: And the so-called device in the book! Do you own such a device? If so, where did you get it? How many times have you traveled back in time?

Wodke: Well, never, but I…

Me: And, suppose I wanted to visit the many shops on Moon City and buy some of the outlandish items you mentioned in your book? Could I do it?

Wodke (head shaking): Well, that’s impossible…

Me: It’s impossible because Moon City doesn’t exist! Does it?

Wodke: No, not really. It’s…

Me: There you have it. Author Wodke Hawkinson admits the book Tangerine is nothing but deception.

Wodke: It’s a fiction book. If you’ll just let me explain…

Me: I don’t think an explanation is necessary. Your deceit has been exposed. And by the way, what’s in that sack you’re carrying?

Wodke (backing away): I don’t think that’s any…

Me: Considering the store you just exited, I would guess it’s either laundry soap or a list of people you can correspond with. Are you planning to write letters containing more lies? Will you spread your dishonesty over the entire globe? Have you no shame?

Wodke: Um, I’m going to my car now.

Me (raising my voice): Can’t take the heat, can you? Can’t hold up under scrutiny? You writers are all alike!

The interview concluded at this point as I was wearing heels and could not keep up with the author, who obviously wanted to avoid further interrogation. More on this story as it develops.

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    • jo miller profile image

      Jo Miller 3 years ago from Tennessee

      I like your style!

    • Karen Wodke profile image

      Karen Wodke 6 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks, chs. You know, Ima Lyer does a lot of interviews. I plan to feature more of her "journalism" in the future.

    • chspublish profile image

      chspublish 6 years ago from Ireland

      Smart piece of work - great idea with the interview style.

    • Karen Wodke profile image

      Karen Wodke 6 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks Harvey! You are right about those Uranians. They are sensitive. hahahahaha

      Sweetie1, I appreciate you reading my hub! Thanks.

    • sweetie1 profile image

      sweetie1 6 years ago from India

      very nice hub karen, you got a very fertile imagination and may be one day you would be very good interview taker.

    • Harvey Stelman profile image

      Harvey Stelman 6 years ago from Illinois

      Karen, Nice job! You accomplished all you wanted to.

      I wrote a movie called, URANUS or Your Anis. The title would have to be changed, but don't get the URANIAN'S angry! H