Breathing Moments of Hell
Everyone knows that I have struggled in my past relationship, well my only relationship that I have ever had. What made me and broke me. Nikkij504gurl pointed out that I should write a bio on myself so I pondered on it and thought maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea, but then I thought well if I do that there is going to be no holds bars, I tell it all or I don’t tell anything. So I decided to open up a chapter in my life and let it go. Many of you may have never thought to think of me in this way but it is my truth and truth will set me free. There is more to bellawritter23 then what I have told and I am about to give you a pass into the lair of what my life used to be. I hope that I am not looked at any differently because I am a changed person and do not desire anything from my past. I have grown strong in spirit in faith and in belief. So follow along and you will read one encounter of the life of bellawritter23.
It was November 7, 2007 and my cousin was turning 21 (The big 2…..1) my aunt was having her a surprise birthday party at a really expensive restaurant banquet hall and my ex husband and I attended. We had a blast of a time we danced drank and enjoyed the time we had with each other (which we really didn’t do too much) he wasn’t the type to enjoy a day with me. Everywhere we went it turned into a fight and blood bath. I would rather just stay home but even when we did stay home it still ended up in a fight one way or another I couldn’t prevent it from happening.
Well our night concluded decent I couldn’t complain. As we pulled out of the drive way from the restaurant we saw my cousin and her boyfriend arguing over my little sister. Now my little sister is a very pretty girl and has a very flirtatious persona, well that didn’t sit too well with my cousin and well they had it out, anyhow back to my story, I asked them both to get into the car because I didn’t want the police to come and question them (police station was at the corner). Well we decided to go back to my place and have a few more drinks and to score crystal meth (my ex husband an addict for over 17 years) He was an active gang member so he was pretty well known in his neighborhood. So we decided to go there and see what we found. I had a bit too much to drink and was on a different level than the other three. We approach the city/neighborhood we were supposed to go and my ex pulls up alongside a building where all these guys were tagging (tagging is another word used for graffiti) on the walls he didn’t know them but assumed they where youngsters from the neighborhood. Well when we pulled up alongside they all took matters into their hands and interpreted it as an ambush.
Apparently there was about 6-7 guys and ran to the car parked waiting for them. I was not feeling well and really didn’t know what was going on like I mentioned I was too too drunk to understand what was happening. I decided to open my door and hang over because my seat belt was holding me in to throw up. Well these guys felt threatened and decided they wanted to play a little game. My ex was letting me do my thing when he realized a bullet hit the car. He forgot I was hanging out the car and sped off. Well it turns out 3 shot guns where used and one aimed at my head because I was the target. A bullet hit the side of the car and left a hole the size of a bowling ball, which was approximately 1 cm away from where my head was at. When the gun was fired and when it hit so close everything went silent and a loud ringing noise was heard. I couldn’t hear myself I knew I was screaming because I couldn’t hear. To my recollection we were hit more than a dozen times.
I had pieces of the metal shrapnel of the car on my eye lids. I had scrapes on my face from it flying over me. Our car looked like if none of us should have made it. I couldn’t hear anything for the rest of the night and the day that followed. Could I have had my head blown off YES, all for what…..trying to score some drugs? I would have left 3 children and a family that loved me to death. The next morning looking at my car and the damage caused was nothing compared to still breathing. I believe that I had an angel on my side protecting me and shielded me from death. The police said if we had been one foot closer my head would have been blown to pieces. Thinking that I would have had a closed casket burial and the anguish my family would have gone through.
Did this experience change my life and did I learn to appreciate it? No it didn’t
Did I stop using drugs after it happened? No I didn’t.
Did I stop drinking and partying? No I didn’t.
All answers where no. I had two people to blame myself and my ex.
What ever happened to me? I fell in love with a struggling boy.
I never thought I'd do it.....
Why did I do the things I did....