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Breathless in Sorrow
By Tony DeLorger © 2014
Deserted by my usual demeanour,
my heart lay still,
drawing out that pause between breaths,
into a long receding lapse of life,
fading to expire under the weight,
the very oppression of thoughts.
But my heart beats on,
its own will prevailing, even stoic,
and I, immersed in the troubled world,
destiny despised and loathsome,
bare witness to my own unravelling,
the slow and tedious realisation,
that what's to come is far beyond my control.
I bask in a litany of my past beliefs,
somehow hoping to draw courage from convictions,
even if proved invalid, fanciful,
just to experience once more that blissful ignorance,
that warm sense of abandon, security in outcome,
and a heart swollen with the blood of faith.
But this is a transgression of reality,
a step to the left, barely seeing the periphery,
and in denial, toying with my own mind,
torn between a righteous world and what is real,
what will come to all of us, regardless,
with no saviour in sight.
Abrupt, my changing views,
yet denial is no worthy ally,
counter-productive and often the bringer of false hope,
and I, tear laden, fall to a reality far from wanted,
but in perspective, in honesty, it can't end well,
regardless of all the plays of interest and deed.
In my heart I can only be,
who I am, and adhere to what I believe to be right,
and in that, I can survive life and beyond,
despite the will and intentions of others in power,
and those who would take all from the likes of me,
for their own glory and superiority.
I ware a bruised heart,
still amazed at the decimation of potential,
the beauty that could instil hope in life,
and the love that can transcend all worlds,
all souls in the infinite cosmos,
regardless of any other intention.