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But, you will only leave me. More poetry
I wrote this poem for those who hesitate to love.
You carry yourself oh, so well
in your masculine mystique.
I find I must redirect
my eyes from your engaging bliss.
I pretend not to see your smile
an act as if you're not there.
Then, I see sunshine dancing on your skin
the skin of your face
with sunlight shining in.
Your hand on my leg did move me.
Can I trust your ways.
I see the face that I long for
bring me back to that place.
The place I last saw you.
The memory in my heart.
and melt into your coat and arms.
The breaking heart will start.
Will you leave me cold,
When I long for a place of warmth?
I hide an underlying need,
and show it to no one.
I hear your absorbing, interesting voice.
It draws me quickly in.
I melt into the flowing waters
when I should hesitate.
I cannot bare another dividing line,
or relive my painful fate.
I feel your gaze again and do not hesitate.
I have cares and causes
of my own and people I owe to.
Should I look up at your smile.
and catch that ray of sun?
I try not to smile and turn away
but, only for awhile.
When your hand was next to mine
and it was captured in your style,
Did you notice our kindred skin
with our hands side by side.
Mastering your authority
over the feelings you must know I have
I find myself drifting
My hands become warm in my gloves.
My longing persists.
Can I share this with you?
Do I even dare?
You will only leave me.
Fission fusion exists.
Can I I trust you long enough to even tell you this?
I long to share my years of loneliness.
Would you laugh and run away.
Is your notice of me with kindness
or do you plan to bring me pain?
It's the pain I have known and
have no reason to retest.
The darkest nights of my life.
The evils of conquest.
The devils that have brought me down.
Can you compensate for this?
Can you show compassion
for the child far away.
She lived long ago in a frightened closet
violence outside he door.
Can you know the pain in me
the crashing at the door.
Hear the child at the age seven
a child all alone.
In a house of horror she stood
The boy who boxed her in
frightened and alone she was, desparately alone.
A familiar voice did save me,
from a fate worse than my own.
But, somewhere deep inside my past
the frightened child groans.
I here you are taken, so why be taken by me.
How can you even think of bringing a stare to me.
So, how can I even suggest,
that I send my kiss to your breath
in zealous openess I breath.
I tell myself the best.
You will only leave me.
This I know for sure
How can I not hesitate.
when you are near to me.
The movement of your body in all this confidence.
Your casual moves
has become a defensive case.
I should not even be here tempted like this.
Could you love my skin
and my imperfections within.
I see you stand in your coat
broad shoulders carry you well.
I long to fall against your strength
and willingly collapse from behind.
I see the back of your coat
as you walk away.
Shadows in the distant night air.
"This will be my fate," I say.
If I do not hesitate
and change this right away,
A paradox will become available
my imperfect nature revealed.
I must set up boundaries
any dissaproval shatters me whole.
I paint myself a heroine
deny all forbidden excessives.
But, at night I dream I am under your breath
your chest to my senses.
I reach and pull you down to me
in compulsion for lovers way.
Your an object of the love and joy.
I long for you each new day.
When I hear you speak
my heart quickly melts.
I long for you so much more,
more than you will ever know.
Are you a love to hold me through
not just a shadow in temp cloth?
No...you will only leave me
in the shadows of the crows.
By Joanne Kathleen Farrell