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Updated on January 13, 2010

I had a "taffy" attack from the anxiety....

Let me explain. Growing up in Los Angeles and going through years of auditions left me with a sort of "BLAH" feeling. That is the best way to describe it. BLAH. It is not that I was NOT successful, the problem is my inner core got so ANNOYED by the whole process! Even when I DID succeed it never got easier. I find it hard to "cherish" any of the past moments, except for starring in musicals and plays in highschool "way back when." That was before all of the "politics," "experiences" and "screwed up producers" in the industry changed things for me. Did I also mention all of the crazy people?

My early experiences in Hollywood started at the young age of five. I starred in many stage shows and landed my first professional musical when I was eighteen. I had done a few dance shows on television, starred in music videos and performed in a few commercials and films, but starring in the Earl Carrol review paid big bucks and they paid me weekly. Did I mention that I wore very skimpy costumes and was the youngest in the cast along with a few show girls from Vegas? The show opened in downtown Los Angeles. It was a big hit and plenty of celebrities came to see us and I got offered lots of lucrative tips from the men in the audience because I was "pretty." That's showbiz! I would say!

Afterall my first big waitress/dance job in Santa Monica landed me a $100.00 bill from Lionel Ritchie and all I did was smile and bring him dinner! I could get used to this I thought! Anyway, this is the point of this article. All of the good stuff after you get successful is a blast for a while, but what people do not realize is that a lot of these young women you see on television or film today went through hell to get where they are. Some lost a lot of their soul along the way and are still in it. Some at some point in their life decided that it just wasn't worth it anymore. The rejection, the pressure, the chaos in every day life.

The Casting of the lead Bimbo

So, the production company that I co-own was asked to produce a commercial for a major studio. Part of producing the commercial is "casting" the lead role. Although I hired the Casting Director (cost $2,000 for him to audition lots of good looking girls ; what a job! ha) to take this responsibility and audition the girls, the job of helping pick the "final choice" was still put in my hands. My partner came home with lots of DVD's of various auditions which I sat through and made notes before I gave my final ok. Afterall the chosen actress has a big chance at getting a major contract and is getting paid $6,000 for this particular gig. Not bad for looking good and talking to the camera!

You must excuse my use of the word "Bimbo" but you see the problem with this industry is nomatter what sort of "description" you give to the TOP agencies in Los Angeles, they never fail in sending chicks that look like they have done porn or have FAKE everything! The desperation in the taped auditions was so depressing at one point and the way some of them acted really made me feel sorry for the female race. At one point, I had to fast forward the footage because I just could not stand it! In the beginning I reached out to some of my industry friends to see if they knew anyone who would be right for this commercial. Looking back I think I was dreading this whole process!

The auditions seemed to get really bad at one point. Some of the women looked like they were drugged out or drunk and it was obvious that only about five women from the final fifty were right for this role. Now, the final fifty came out of hundreds that were sent from well known agencies and who the heck knows what was in those original piles? That was up to the casting agent, but at one point some of the woman were over sixty years old. Some were quite famous in their heyday and starred in very famous films BUT......The description in the casting notes was YOUNG, on-air host with experience in reporting! Only a few of the girls that auditioned could actually read the copy and the chosen few did a pretty good job. There were only about two that were "tops" and were good at reading the copy and seemed like they could do a good job. This realization then lead me to my kitchen drawer to indulge in a "taffy attack!" It had been a long time since any of these sort of thoughts were in my psyche and now being on the other side of the camera gave me an anxiety attack and all I could think of was CANDY!

This is my point and this is why I'm writing this hub. It was strange to see so many good looking women with absolutely nothing going for them "upstairs" in the brain department. It was shocking to see so much plastic surgery in their faces (cheek implants) and body. My partner described one sort of "mentally ill" actress from a big agency hovering around the audition for hours and at one point he thought they had to call the police to take her away. She refused to leave until she could audition again after everyone left.

After I put my final two choices on the table, my partner then said that we need to do a google search to make sure there is no "surprises" from their past! "Not even a touch of nudity in any way or form." By the time I checked the younger of the two, there was something on the web that could take her out of the race. Will know more this week. Not sure if the internet is good for woman trying to make an honest living when at one point they may have really needed the money and taken their clothes off! In the old days, you could not track any of everything appears courtesy of the "world wide web." 

The Lesson...

My father once told me "Never think that you are NOT good enough." There were many times when I was stressed about a screen test or had auditioned for something I really wanted and doubted myself. Sometimes I even talked my self out of going! What he meant was......

"Always go there and give it your best and know that you are good enough, because I can guarantee that out of all the girls there you will be better then most or in the top three." I know.....he loved me but he DID have a point! After watching the auditions and a conference call.....the first choice from the casting director, my partner and myself was actually a younger version of me! She was pretty, but she was smart too and she was dressed nicely with no huge cleavage or naked body parts being forced down our throats!

There are a lot of little miracles that happen in the casting process and most of it is out of the actresses or actors control. I could finally "look back" and pat myself on the back and say....Cool. 


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    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from California

      JAMES! Always nice to see you here........Wait til you see who the VERY BIG client eventually chose for a BIG campaign. Will be all over the web soon.....Let's just say that out of the two girls that hosted in the end, the final contract was given to a young "Bimbo"...I mean "Beauty!" ha Honestly....I "give" up on trying to change the industry......there is always a cheezzzze bag out there! The sad part is that they made the right choice because it WILL make a difference in sales!!! G

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      9 years ago from Chicago

      I always enjoy these inside looks at the entertainment industry. I must agree it is sad the degree to which most of these women go to compete in this field. All that plastic. Could be a biohazard someday. Graveyards full of plastic. :)

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from California

      James....thank you for your comment and coming by to be part of this hub.

      I'm looking forward to reading more about your adventures.....Happy New Year to you too! Best, G

    • James McV Sailor profile image

      James J Mills 

      9 years ago from Northern California

      Hi G... Great Hub. You've lived an interesting life and its nice that it has not jaded your perspective. There would no doubt be more reality on TV and other media if there weren't so many horn-dogs doing the scripting and auditioning, and "we" might actually find that more appealing.......... Have a wonderful New year. JM

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from California nice to see you here! Thank you for your support and kind words......Best, G

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from California

      Jess......thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment. I appreciate your words and your talent! G

    • Ladybird33 profile image


      9 years ago from Fabulous USA

      GPage, I can't imagine but I hear the lessons you learned, which to relfect is hard in oneself. But you did it and explressed it. Very proud of you! Great hub! Thank you for sharing.

    • Jess Killmenow profile image

      Jess Killmenow 

      9 years ago from Nowheresville, Eastern United States

      Thanks for your insight, GPAGE. People's lives are simply amazing. I can't imagine a life of auditioning. Thanks again

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from California made me laugh! Thanks for stopping in...VERY funny! You know, I work in a few different medias & just never fails....there are always CRAZIES!!!!!!!!!!! ha G

    • Kaie Arwen profile image

      Kaie Arwen 

      9 years ago

      Very interesting........... sounds like you have as much fun at work as I do. Completely different job descriptions........... equal amount of CRAZIES!!!!!!

      Thank you for the glimpse into what you do.........

      Happy New Year!

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from California

      Hey! cheaptrick....thanx for stopping in and leaving your comment! It is nice to know that you enjoyed this info. I wanted to share this in the hopes that people will see "the real world" out there in the industry. Always great seeing you here.

      Best, G

    • cheaptrick profile image


      9 years ago from the bridge of sighs

      Hi G.WOW,I had no Idea all that rigamarole was involved in casting.I assumed it was an insiders game with Friends getting the best parts.Hearing what its like from the inside is really

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from California

      kartika! Thanx for stopping in and leaving your comment! I always appreciate seeing you here. I DO hope that some of these women find a good "peaceful" place in their soul one day. It seems that some are lost in a river of denial.....sad really. Best, G

    • kartika damon profile image

      kartika damon 

      9 years ago from Fairfield, Iowa

      Hi GPAGE, it's great you are open and honest and sharing the wisdom you've earned from your personal experience in the industry called Hollywood. Whenever a person's sense of self is based totally on the superficial life will become disappointing. Best, Kartika

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from California

      Hey girl! Thanks for the comment! G

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Great hub! It's important to get this message out to more women...Will it help? Every little bit does...Changing things slowly but surely...

      Amazing! Thank you!


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