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Updated on December 21, 2011

By: Wayne Brown

It is this time of day that I like best; always has been. The world seems so much less complicated about the time that the sun is rising on a new day. Maybe it is because so many of those who complicate and ruin the world around us are still fast asleep causing little or no trouble. At any rate, now more than ever I appreciate this time of day the most. Sadly, it only lasts for a little while then I have to get to the business at hand.

Here I sit in the 21st Century at the mouth of a cave watching the sun rise slowly into the morning sky; loving the pinks and gold of its new birth on the day. It seems an unlikely place for a man this day and age and it certainly is not a place that ever figured into my grand plan at any time. It is simply a reality of what man brings upon the world in this life. I should be happy considering the fact that I am a survivor; at least for now anyway.

Turn back the clock a few years and look back at my existence. At that point in time, if someone had told me that I would be living alone in a cave carved into the hillside scouring the earth each day to eke out an existence, I would have laughed in their face. Certainly I was a realist but not a doomsday type at all. I believed in the system. I could not see it ever failing and turning back the hands of time by centuries. You might say that I got blind-sided by the event because I refuse to acknowledge the signs.

The world began to crumble financially, ethically, morally, and structurally in the early decades of the 21st century. I was a young man then and a successful one with a good job and a great future it seemed. I was married to a fantastic woman who I loved dearly. We had children and eventually grandchildren who were scattered by the winds of opportunity and achievement to the various regions of the USA. We were staring retirement right in the face and looking forward to it when things began to go south.

The government was out of control and pretty much in the hands of the social welfare types who had put environment and social welfare ahead of the general needs of society. Spending was not of control to the point that the government had a far greater demand for money than the private sector. Other countries had long since fallen by the wayside and the USA was on the same road although it was taking longer to get there mainly because we had been such a strong nation in the beginning. The spending continued and the government just started printing money to accommodate its own needs using the rationale that it was doing the “best thing for the people”. There was no other source of money; those sources had long since failed and dried up.

At first it was the small business that fell out of the mix one by one, town by town, city by city. Then the failures expanded to larger businesses and then into the banking sector which held the burden of the debt owed by the businesses who had already mortgaged their future in the hope of just hanging on until times got better. Everyone wanted to believe that times would get better although the loss of jobs and individual income grew by the day. Families fell into disarray as a result of lost incomes. Homes were lost or deteriorated to the point of not being livable. It was not uncommon to see people living in a house with no electricity or water. The infrastructure was falling apart slowly but surely and most of us just turned a blind eye wanting to believe differently.

My wife and I had money saved, retirement plans, etc…the things we would need in our golden years to get by. Even though things were getting bad around us, we continued to look to the future still feeling secure in what we had and our plans for retirement. Then, in the blink of an eye, we were both without a job as the companies we had both worked at for years fell into financial troubles and closed their doors. Suddenly our finances and plans for the future were in jeopardy. At that point, reality set in and we began to grasp what was happening around it. Unfortunately it was too late to do much about it if anything could be done. You see, the problem was far too big for us alone to solve.

As time passed the situation escalated significantly around the country as the population of “have-nots” far exceed that of the “haves”. People became desperate as they began looking for new ways to survive. The government had long since lost its ability to provide a welfare-net for all those who were suffering hard times. Folks were on their own. Their neighbors were in the same boat. No one could look out for others as they were far too concerned with just looking out for themselves and their family.

The streets became more and more violent as more businesses failed. Desperation drove people to loot for food and basic needs. Violence began to escalate as the supply of items decreased with no source to replace them. Soon, one man was willing to kill another over an ear of corn, or some form of fresh meat. Survival and animal instincts took over and property rights were ignored. The world was headed back into the dark ages of time. Initially, the government attempted to use local police forces and the military to quell the unrest. That effort was temporary as the conflict spread across regions. Soon the military and the local authorities were simply overwhelmed. The reality that our system had existed all these years as a function of law-abiding people was becoming readily apparent.

My wife and I got by better than some and I tried to keep my attitude as positive as possible but that all changed in the blink of an eye. I had left my wife at home and gone out seeking to find some place that maybe I could work in trade for food and essential items. When I returned home, our house had been over-run by a street gang, looted; then burned to the ground. For a few cans of soup, this gang had destroyed my home, injured my wife and left her to burn to ashes with the rest of our home. In that moment, my perspective changed from one of cautious optimism to outright survival.

By this time, I carried a sawed-off 12 gauge pump shotgun; basically a police riot special. I also wore a western-style holster with a 22-caliber revolver in it. It was not the best or the strongest firepower but it worked and there was still plenty of ammunition about to keep me armed. The 22 pistol did not have a lot of stopping power but it made up for the difference with the accuracy. I could at least hit things at some distance which was a lot more than I could say for most of the folks running around with larger caliber pistols. At the same time, they also far more trouble finding ammunition.

My military training kicked in as did my animal instincts for survival. I moved out of the city and into the foothills getting away from the larger populations and a considerable amount of the desperation. Many of the city dwellers were totally dependent on looting and killing to achieve their needs. They knew nothing else. I had some survival training under my belt and at least some knowledge of how to hunt, fish, and garden. I figured that I could keep myself alive out in the countryside better than on the streets of the city.

That was three years ago. In the process, I found this cave and set up a homestead. I raise a few garden vegetables and I hunt small game for my survival. As time passes, I encounter more and more people out here. Roaming bands move about surviving only by the numbers and the methods they employ to violently overrun anything they find of use. Death and destruction lies in their path. They have no skill at survival and no desire to develop any as long as they can take from someone else. Even in the crudest of cultures, there are still those who want to survive off the backs of the producers. From what I can see there are far more “takers” than producers out here. It is just a matter of time before they find me and disrupt my situation.

I long since came to terms with killing other people not so much out of desire but out of necessity. One thing that I have come to realize out of all of this is that the good Lord only gave us three things to survive upon in this life…faith, trust, and love. The humanity that I see around me is too hungry to possess any of those traits at this point. Given that premise, civilization is lost and mankind’s ability to recreate it is lost as well. That is the reality of it when human abilities are buried beneath animal instincts for survival. Man is killing man to get what he desires. On that basis, I have no qualms about using this 12-guage or the pistol if it means that I walk away and survive another day. That is what a survivor does. Maybe if I can live long enough, I can outlive this desperation and animal behavior; maybe I can be the seed that replants humanity and helps to restore the faith, trust, and love that is so necessary for mankind to exist in harmony. At present, all of that is just a pipedream that rambles through my head as I hold my morning ritual over the event of sunrise.

For the time, I hold the high ground and I can see trouble coming from afar. I stand alone only as one man but I still stand and I will do so until I draw my final breathe. No one stands with me; there is no one that I can trust in this world at the present. I fight a solitary battle of survival by day with the resolve that I will resist anyone who tries to take what I have from me. I hunger for companionship and conversation but I am not fool enough to risk my very survival to obtain it. The world is a lonely and dangerous place at the moment offering a basic existence at best. I have come to terms with that reality and I am committed to defending that existence as long as I am capable.

Each day, I openly thank the Lord for granting me one more sunrise although I find myself wondering if I wouldn’t be better off if the sun never rose again on my life. I push those thoughts away as quickly as they come into my head. They have no value. They create nothing but despair and they do nothing in terms of trying to bring faith, trust, and love back to the world. And, they have no value to me, for you see, I am a survivor.

©Copyright WBrown2011. All Rights Reserved.



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    • WillStarr profile image


      7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      The Greek rioters are nothing more than leeches, demanding a never ending supply of free stuff. Socialism is bound to fail, because, unlike capitalism, it produces nothing to market while burdening those who do produce.

      That's also why Obama's stimulus failed. All that money went to government boondoggles, which produced nothing. The same liberals who scorned the 'trickle down' economics produced by lowering taxes, now claim a sort of 'trickle down' economics by spending a trillion dollars on government.

      It did not work, of course, but, just like the Greek leeches, they are blinded by their fervent devotion to a failed political system.

    • Wayne Brown profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Brown 

      7 years ago from Texas

      @WillStarr...So very true, Will. Socialist governments have created a "desired" dependence in the citizens only to prove in the final analysis that no one should look to government as their security or their provider. Those who cannot see the flaws of socialism are blinded by the utopian philosphy of fairness and security for all. What a crock! WB

    • WillStarr profile image


      7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Europe is reeling under the economic disaster of socialism. The Greek rioters are nothing more than lifetime-trained leeches who are now discovering that their host is dying and unable to support them any longer. The same thing is looming over Ireland, Portugal, Italy, and Spain. Most of Europe bought into the false promise of socialism and consequently, all of Europe is on the verge of collapse.

      The Wall Street protestors want to bring that same European socialism to the US, and what boggles the mind is the number of otherwise intelligent people who support that notion!

      The economic collapse of 2008 was directly caused by the socialist Democrats and their Freddie/Fannie/Fair Housing manipulation of the housing market! The Wall Street morons should be protesting Washington and the socialists!

      Great Hub, Wayne!

    • Wayne Brown profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Brown 

      7 years ago from Texas

      @drbj...Thank you, Doc. I certainly did not have fiction in mind as I was writing this. I have often thought of what a paper thin line of faith, trust, and love that our society is perched upon. We are rapidly losing much of all three within our own societal relationships not to mention the precarious financial tightrope we have been left upon by our wonderful politicians. It is a formula for a socialistic transition to communism if I have ever seen one. We better wake up and soon; otherwise, start studying your survival manuals. Thanks. WB

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      7 years ago from south Florida

      You paint an all too realistic picture of a Apocalyptic society, Wayne. And if the people who vote do not wake up in time, it could come to pass. God help us all.

    • Wayne Brown profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Brown 

      7 years ago from Texas

      @Frannie Dee...I think a lot of people are starting to feel those fears, more than ever. Four more years of our current situation just might put us there too. I sure hope not. Thanks much. WB

      @Genna East....Very insightful Genna! Yes, hope is about all this man has left to hold it together. Thanks much! WB

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 

      7 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      This very well written hub is a little reminiscent to me of The Road, Man in The Wilderness, and Jeremiah Johnson. The outdoor survival aspects don’t bother me; but having to defend oneself against marauding and murdering human beings is not a world in which I’m sure if I would care to survive…without hope. The death of hope is the real death.

      By pushing away such thoughts of despair, this man retains his hope; and perhaps the knowledge that there must be others out there like him. Although he calls himself a “survivor,” this is a man of great courage – and faith.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I'm with you both then Princess - I'm actually learning to can my own food - that's how serious I am! Lol

    • Frannie Dee profile image

      Frannie Dee 

      7 years ago from Chicago Northwest Suburb

      I'm with RealHousewife, I've imagined this scenerio. Being a city girl, I don't think I'd last very long. I've even looked on-line at lakehouses thinking I could set up a safehouse for my daughter and grandkids where there was fresh water and land. You have given a realistic look at a possible future. Up and interesting.

    • Wayne Brown profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Brown 

      7 years ago from Texas

      @RealHousewife...It is a sobering thought and certainly a possibility. As a public, very few of us have the survival knowledge that we need and we won't have the Internet at hand when the time comes. There is a very fine line between tranquility and chaos. We walk it every day and only our faith, trust, and love keeps us on the right side of it. It is a very delicate balance and one we should take very seriously. Thanks, Kelly! WB

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      WB - what's scary is I have imagined a similar scene myself! This is a scary story Wayne - I am always scared by the ones that could really happen.

      Rated up and awesome and everything but funny......I'll keep thinking about this one, you know.


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