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Captain Oh Yeah

Updated on April 12, 2013
Title: The Actual Black Shirt
Title: The Actual Black Shirt | Source

I was wearing my black, collared, slick, long sleeve shirt that I had just bought from the Gap to show it off on that particular Friday evening. It made my beer gut look like it was gone (you know how black makes everyone look thin), and it gave me this mysterious panther-like look while all the silver rings I was wearing on my lanky fingers embellished the blackness of this awesome shirt. This particular shirt was a huge girl magnet too. By far, it was my favorite shirt for a long time.

I was wearing this black shirt from the Gap on that Friday evening in order to impress the sexiest woman I had ever seen in my life. I was going to ask this woman that made me feel love for the first time for her number. So, the black shirt was the arsenal for that purpose.

The first time I saw this gorgeous woman was when I met friends at this book store. We were drinking coffee outside talking about certain books, and she walked by with this amazing aura around her. Since then, I’ve been going to the book store in hopes to see her. My hopes materialized when I started seeing her walking by the store once a week.

This woman’s beauty made me into a daydreaming zombie at work, home or everywhere I went. I hadn’t even met her yet and she had me going crazy everyday!

I wanted her to immediately fall in love with me, and it felt like she would have once she saw me in that shirt.

I got the number from her that Friday evening, as she winked when she waltzed away from my view. I couldn’t believe it! I had gone up to her with this panther-like black shirt and succeeded with my objective—getting her number. That shirt never failed me.

I turned to complete my final cool move as she looked back at me one more time. I was feeling very confident with my sexy-ass-black-shirt-wearing-walking-away move, and, suddenly, I tripped! I got coffee that I had just bought from the book store’s coffee shop all over my fucking black shirt.

I stood up quickly.

In order to hide the chagrin, because everyone was staring at me including the love of my life, I awkwardly said, “Oh yeah!”


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