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Captive No More

Updated on March 14, 2017

Coming to get me...

It's dark here and no life can be found, this is a place where happiness and hope comes to die. Here, there is no identity, no purpose; just what you are given and I have been given the place of the sacrificial lamb. How did I get here? How did it all happen? Does it really matter now? I am powerless and weak now, they have taken my energy, my passion and my faith; there is nothing left.

Cold and derelict is my confinement; everything around me seems to be thousands of years old and yet it still manages to hold me while keeping everything out. What year is it? Is it day or night? Why am I being held here? I wonder as I sit on the cold concrete floor as muffled sounds start to run through the heavy air. They sounded like heavy machinery mixed with laughter...what could it be?! Is it something not of this world?!

Closer and closer....what is it?! The only thing I can feel is fear, paralysing and dread-inducing fear of what is lurking outside. There is no doors or windows here; I cannot see but I can hear, hear the thumping, the dragging and the dreadful sound of a million buzzsaws. Shrill laughter follows; like a twisted version of a giggling schoolgirl's. What is it laughing at?! Laughing at my pain, laughing at what I lost and about the fact that I can no longer get it back.

Suddenly, a stream of pain shoots into my head and the feeling of nausea overwhelms me, vomiting onto the floor, I collapse face first; I lose control over myself and pass out.

"What is the answer?!"

"We don't care, you can't get out!"


"He's useless, get him outta here!"

Those phrases is all I can remember as I regain consciousness and try to restore my balance from the painful position I appeared to have "slept." My limbs are numb and I can barely feel my fingers moving.

"He won't give in!"

It felt like an eternity, I remained in the dark, losing myself to this place. As I did I began to collect my memories; what I heard, who I saw and what was asked of me and realised they were stripping me of my humanity; I can barely remember anything from my life before this. Things have changed now and I get an occasional visit from someone; I stopped passing out and losing my control as I grew closer to this place; the dark is now a part of me and I begin to secretly scout for an exit out of here.

I spied a door which was concealed from sight and touch and could be opened a single way; from the outside. Suddenly, slow and heavy footsteps approach; panicking, I stood frozen by fear. The door opened and a tall, dark figure walked in and approached me; I lost consciousness again as the last thing I felt was excruciating pain from inside my head. Visions danced in front of my barely open eyes; needles, towers of flashing lights, wires and mirrors.

"It's not working, he is not responding!"

"Increase dosage!"

"It's already at maximum, more could kill him, we'd all be screwed if we lose another!"

"Back to the cell, he's useless!"

Regaining full consciousness in the dark, I realised that I am giving them trouble, causing them aggravation and ruining their plans; this ignited a spark of hope in me. I am stronger than them and their efforts will not break me. Time to fight back. I had a plan, it would bring them more trouble and even physical pain along with that, it would set me free either way; regardless if I live or die.

Standing up from the floor, I looked at my hands as I balled them into fists; feeling my grip as I rolled my shoulders back and forth, twisting my hips and feeling the movement. I began jumping and running around my cell; regaining my body awareness and senses. I looked at one of the walls and threw a punch at it; leaving a big crack. I can do it; if a hard wall gave in and so will my captors. A deep breath later, I started unloading on the wall; punches, kicks, elbows and headbutting even; regaining my awareness of what I have at my disposal.

Fists harden, breathing lightens and my strength grows, I am one with the darkness, one with the pain and there is nothing my captors can do now; they tried to test me and take away my humanity; they will taste steel; my spirit is my greatest weapon. I am ready now.

"No one is responding"

I recalled that my captors had some kind of way to control me with pain; my previous passing out from an inner headache; if I pretend to be unconscious they won't use it; this is what I did; lying in a corner and waiting. Anticipating the arrival. Moments later it came; I heard the door open and heavy footsteps come to me. As soon as I felt the breathing on my skin I suddenly sprung up, grabbing him and using my elbows rapid-fire without any target; hitting what seemed like his head because each impact felt a hard, circular surface.

I pushed him to a wall and let fly a flurry of punches towards what I thought was the stomach area. I was getting tired because I kept attacking, afraid of the "headache defence" getting activated, my body gave in and I stopped; it was then I realised that whoever it was, it was lying motionless on the floor. I won the first battle and with adrenaline surging, I let loose a loud roar; I wanted the whole place to hear me; I AM FREE AND I AM COMING FOR YOU!

Turning towards where I thought the exit was, I jumped shoulder-first into it, I felt no pain as I repeated the action until it gave and broke down. I was out, blinded by sudden flashes of brightness; something I haven't seen for too long; my eyes were slowly getting used to it. Sterile white walls and glass windows to places that seemed familiar to me; I been there before. Beds with wires and towers of dials and lights; occupied by others that I recall being "tested."

I felt intense anger, remembering the pain from the "testing" procedures, remembering the daunting "challenges" and punishment for their failure. My hands flew towards one of the glass windows and it shattered on impact, the "testers" were scared, they were not trying to stop me, they ran out of the rooms, not one of them tried to stop me. I went for the machinery, picking up one tower and throwing it in their direction with an angry roar.

"We have a subject loose!" I heard "Call security teams!"

The room was later surrounded by different "testers" who carried devices I haven't seen in a while but I vaguely recall what they are for. Turning around, I came face-to-face with one of them, he took a swing at me; dodging, I kicked him as hard and fast as I could; he flew back and hit one more tower. His device lay in front of me, I picked it up and began recalling whatever I could about it; it had a hook on one end and a circular hole at another; something flew out of the hole so I pointed it at the crowd coming towards me while pressing the hook.



Loud sounds tore the air mixed with the screams of "testers" as they fell and lay motionless. Waving the device around, I screamed along with it as many more "testers" fell, pursuing those that tried to run, the device suddenly stopped working. Dropping it, I fell back to my hands and increased vigilance for more devices. "Lab 01, lab 01; status!" I heard from one of the bodies, "is anyone alive in there!"

"No one is responding, terminate the subject, I repeat terminate the subject at all costs!" I heard at the end of the hall as another tester arrives; leaping towards him and going for his head; I suddenly felt a strong force throw me back, I looked at my chest which now had a series of holes that were leaking red. Breathing began to feel heavier and heavier while my vision blacking out, I felt life leaving me; "I am free now" I thought to myself.

© 2017 Jake Clawson


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      3 years ago

      A well written gripping short story! It reminds me of George Orwell's classic novel '1984.'


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