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Cattacular Views

Updated on October 19, 2009

Mouse Pad and Carla

Cattacular Views


People are stupid. I mean, they're supposed to be able to tell what we cats want. They complain that WE'RE not easily trainable! What about them? I mean really now, what's with this expecting us to listen to them. They're not our masters, we are and how dare they think that they can take over our cozy spots so that they can sit down? I mean look at them!

He glances over his shoulder to look at the two male bipeds sitting on the couch watching some show on the tv.

That's all they do! They sit there, watching their shows and acting like THEY own the place! Come on, EVERYONE knows we cats own everything, humans are just here to take care of things and pay our bills.

He shivers in spite of himself then flops over to clean his crotch methodically.

They think they're so superior, what with them being able to walk on two legs. That's so undignified! *lick*lick* They don't even have natural deodorizers so when they get sweaty, they stink to high heaven. Oh, and what's with that sweating thing? That's so nasty!

He stops with one leg up in the air as he watches the two human males carrying on, randomly blurting out asinine comments at each other.

Ok, so they're a tad humorous but what's with the shorter male one's cat? I mean she's got like some sort of complex! I just look at her and she hisses, growls then runs away. Her human has a point, she is chicken. All Carla and me wanna do is play but nooooooooooo, she's gotta act like she's better than us.

With a kitty sigh, he stands up to his full regal kitty height and stretches, sinking claws into the top of the couch. He leaps off, stares at the strange female cat and waits for it.

*Hisssssssssssssssssssss, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* You stupid boy! Stay away from me or I'll mess you up! She then runs and hides behind the tv.

He rolls his eyes and trots off to his friend Carla, who's sitting on the glass end table. He starts cleaning her, not caring about the "I'm gonna gnaw your headbone off" look and continues cleaning till she jumps off. He claims the area and curls up happily.

Ya know, it's disgusting that they make me beg for the good stuff in the morning/afternoon. Yeah, so I'm shameless and can do the cute act perfectly but to what end? So I can get fed! That's why! I just wish they'd stop calling it "Feeding time at the crack house". That's so annoying. So what if I like the stuff? Doesn't mean I'm addicted or anything!

Hearing the peeling of the foil top off the orange cup of Gourmet Meow Mix, he rushes into the kitchen and starts meowing pathetically till his food bowl is filled and he's gnoshing happily.

Ok so shoot me, I like the stuff. Now go away! I'm eating! I'll rant about the two little female bipeds some other time.



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