ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Cheating Just a Little

Updated on July 6, 2017

Opening

"When people who buy a Lottery
ticket every week never win, and
the guy who just took the Jackpot
tells the reporter it's the first he's
ever bought a ticket, sales of
Lottery tickets drop."

Members of the Board were
looking at me. Some nodded
their understanding, others took
somewhat longer to 'get it'.

When the majority seemed to have caught the point, I continued;

"This can't be a truly 'random' draw. The most loyal customers must win."

There were a couple of politically correct types making the expected noises.
I wore my 'interested' face.

All they were doing was extending a thirty minute meeting to an hour and a half,
but the coffee was good, the pastries excellent.

They'd be brought around.

And The Winner Is

The plan was simple. Everyone could enter. They'd write their names on their receipts and drop them into the bin.

On Sunday, at closing, the Bin would be taken into the Office. While the other workers cleaned up and did their rectification, the Senior manager would go through the entries.

Known customers would be kept, strangers tossed.

On Monday morning the Draws would be held. Only the receipts of the best customers could be drawn, for those were the only ones in the bin.

The contest went off without a hitch.

All our good customers felt that shopping with us had benefits. Sales went up, and I was being congratulated by everyone, even those who didn't know about the little 'trick'.

I got a reputation,( in house), of knowing how to do contests so was loaned to a few other companies (non-competitors) to help them.

Life as an Expert

My most challenging mission was the muddle one organisation had gotten itself into with having the public, online, select the name for the new beverage they were about to introduce.

Never, ever, use the word 'online' in any possible connection to 'voting'. In most cases those who would vote are Trolls and other denizens of the Dark Side.

People might, standing by the table, sipping the drink, make an entry, but to go home and connect to a web site so as to nominate or vote for an already nominated name? I mean is our little contest that important to them?

I am sure 88.9% of all people forgot about the contest before they got into their car, and another ten percent before they had reached home.

Considering the names that had been 'nominated' were Gross, (capital G here) I instructed the Creatives to come up with twelve possible names.

While Trolls nominated and voted for Puke, Choke, MouthFail, and other such, the team was coming forward with 'Breeeze', 'Sunnyshine', 'Neat', and other such ideas.

I then informed the company to insert our names on the Chart, (and if there was any decent name suggested by the public, include them) and do a bulk voting. This would make every vote we made equal 100 votes so to push our names to the top of the list while blocking the gross names. Any vote for a Gross sent 100 to a Decent.

On the last day of voting we actually had about 25 good names and went with them into 'Round Two'.

Sure, it was cheating, but Business trumps democracy.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • qeyler profile imageAUTHOR

      qeyler 

      6 years ago

      Thank you, I am glad that you are enjoying my writing

    • tomismobile profile image

      tomismobile 

      6 years ago from Oklahoma City

      I am enjoying your Hub's very much. Your somewhat cynical approach to human nature coupled with a straight forward writing style make for an enjoyable quick read. Thank You!

    • qeyler profile imageAUTHOR

      qeyler 

      6 years ago

      Thank you Neman

    • nemanjaboskov profile image

      Nemanja BoŇ°kov 

      6 years ago from Serbia

      This was very interesting and useful.

      I have noticed your hubs a while ago thanks to their great titles, but I must admit this was the first one I read from beginning to end - and it is certainly not the last one.

      I really liked your writing style and I'm off to read something more from your 'hub library' :)

      Thanks for a great hub!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)