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Chemo

Updated on October 30, 2012

CHEMO

This life is repugnant

Everything makes me forlorn

Why can't this life elude me?

I feel exhausted, depressed, and worn.

So many vulgar people

A world that's virulent

I wish at birth we had

the choice for annulment.

I oppress over everything

And the worry is really passe'.

Somewhere, Somehow

My feet led me astray.

My mind feels mauled

and i am smirched by all.

When does the agony end?

Why can't this life I have, been forestalled?

To much agony

Everyday I strain

To be happy and fulfilled

But there is just so much pain.

Where are the birds that sing for me?

Where is my silver lining?

Oh! God! Where is the happiness

I've so long been pining?

The depths of my soul aches

My body weeps to move

My hand continues to write

Knowing y mind reproves.

Day to day struggles

And restless sleep begins

My mind constantly going

And the depression creeps in.

Further and further I fall

Till all is black and bleak

Months are gone

Soon, so will be the weeks.

Make it stop

Make it go away

So I can enjoy

the passing of each day.

No more being sick

No more poison coursing through my veins

I want to be free and clear

Of this hellish domain.

Nightmares; no longer good dreams

Paranoia settles as a calming peace

Unintended purgery

No more smiling, just a maddening crease.

Everyday goes the same

Reassuring faces come and go

I sit there silently in limbo

People on the street

Look at you knowing

"Something is amiss with her"

Wonder what she is not showing"

Don't tell anyone your sick

You do not want their gracious pitty

They say they want the details and truth

But grimace when you get to the nitty gritty

I do not need their fake sympathy

Or the worthless sorrow

I just want a guarantee

I'll wake up tomorrow.

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  • glassvisage profile image

    glassvisage 6 years ago from Northern California

    Thank you for this Hub. Did you have cancer? If so, I admire your drive to survive. My grandmother had cancer, and while I do what I can to support cancer research and services, I was too young to know exactly what chemo was like on her, and I'm considering volunteering to be a driver for people who need rides to and from treatments.