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Chivs86 Satire: A Tad Bit Too Convenient (My Review of He-Man & the Masters of the Universe)

Updated on June 10, 2019

Released in 1982 as an ingenious ploy to sell very cheaply made action figures to children; the character of He-Man and the animated series of the same name has stood the test of time as without a doubt a cult classic.

Based on the Comic Book character of ‘Conan the Barbarian’, He-Man and his supporting cast the ‘Masters of the Universe’ and all associated other characters, they may just be one of the biggest success stories of its time.

For its cheaply made animation and toys; to its many spin offs including a feature length film. How people like me included could ever let this magnificent franchise ever escape them is totally beyond me.

For its vast range of characters, aesthetics and of course the fantastic storytelling - He-Man & the MOTU is perhaps an institution in its very own right but the utter stupidity of whoever came up with the idea of how no one could ever guess that Prince Adam of Eternia was He-Man.

How on Earth?

Watching it now as an adult I really don’t know what to say - how they got away with it as long as they did.

Still will always have fond memories of the toys etc. but really?

So as I was saying about how no one could ever guess He-Mans secret Identity. Apparently the only people actually aware that the Prince Adam of Eternia with his Mullet style haircut and his green pet cat / tiger Cringer were He-Man and Battle Cat were exclusively; the Sorceress of Castle Grayskull, military leader Man-At-Arms and comic relief character Orko.

Who knows what went on this writers room on this fabulous day in the late 1970’s / early 80’s but how it never occurred to them the whole concept of Prince Adam’s transformation into He-Man was a massive plot hole in itself is totally beyond me.

Same Haircut, same furry pants, furry boots and maybe the biggest giveaway - isn’t that the exact same Power Sword as He-Man’s that Prince Adam happens to carry around with him? As cosmetic as it may seem!
So I’m pretty sure I’ve never watched an episode where it’s used for anything else apart from turning into the mighty He-Man with. Oh and on the subject how does no one ever hear the guy?

For someone who only sneaks off around the corner. You would think him shouting ‘I have the power’ and at the top of his voice that people would hear it?.?
Like his voice echoes and everything and he’s only nipped around the corner?

Indeed and I know that the kids of today would rather put pins in their eyes than watch this great cartoon, but I would like to take the opportunity to apologise if I am seemingly taking the innocence away from something created for Children and yes I could find equal plot holes for Scooby Doo but as a not so secret fan of this show - (He-Man) - this whole narrative is maybe best coming from me.

Basically just a short summary of what I think are the most stupid things about He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, and no I don’t just mean the original run from 1982 to 1984 – also the 2002 series (which I absolutely loved by the way!) – I mean all He-Man - the whole entire concept in general.

Like I’m sure if again it was remade now it would still have the same mistakes. The same plot holes – ready made. Like we ain’t that stupid are we?. Even with Dolph Lundgeren not playing Prince Adam? Just He Man!

So just for example of what I think is just absolutely laughable. It has to be the typical moment in the episode when main villain Skeletor, or whoever else that is evil is back causing their usual terror again. Whether it be tearing walls down in the hunt for dangerous occult artefacts’, or setting houses on fire with blasts of magic, or whatever is most frightening at the time. The picturesque scene of the vulnerable locals of the royal city of Eternia - fleeing for their safety as the wicked villain of the week attacks. Then whilst all this is going on along comes quite conveniently the Prince Adam with his best friend Teela and as always his loyal pet Cringer. Plus usually more often than not another unsuspecting character!

Most likely one of the Masters of the Universe maybe Man-At-Arms, Orko, Ram Man or any other daft excuse to make a children’s toy.

Anyway so it’s usually pretty much like clockwork each time out of nowhere in the ensuing panic Prince Adam will make his usual lame excuse to disappear. Something kind of like “oh I’ve just got to nip behind that wall over there. You’d better come with me Cringe”.

Then like you wouldn’t believe it right in his place is the almighty He-Man.

If that isn’t bad enough - cut to the next scene and concerned friend / possible love interest Teela is asking worriedly about the whereabouts of her close Pal. Which is fair enough It’s exactly what you would expect to happen given the situation but then half way through punching the menace responsible for all this mayhem in the 1st place; as hard as he can in the face who else answers but friggin He-Man?

This alone should give away the fact he’s Prince Adam in disguise like how. How isn’t this obvious when He-Man turns around and says ‘Oh actually as it happens I saw Prince Adam leaving just as I got here’. I mean how is it they would actually know each other? Obviously they are the same person but if they weren’t. Like really you just can’t make this s**t up!

Like how? I know the girl is asking if anyone has seen Prince Adam but out of everybody I’m pretty sure she just means everyone else and not the man in a punch up with his sworn mortal enemy. Lol Plus then if it wasn’t convenient enough once let’s say Skeletor and his evil forces are beaten to within an inch of their life - by the man of the hour and his faithful companions – What then happens? Off disappears He-Man and along returns you guessed it - Prince Adam.

And the excuses this boy comes up with when his worried friend asks where he’s been. Like ‘Yeah me and Cringer we um just had to nip off real quick’. ‘Oh really Adam where might have that been I have been scared out of my witts – actually Evil Lynn and Beast Man just tried to abduct me – it’s a good job He-Man showed up when he did’. ‘Um yeah sorry Teela me and Cringer we.., we.., were just you know – that thing what me and Cringer do – um picking. Picking you flowers that’s it”.

Flowers really whatever were these writers thinking and how about the burning question on everyone’s mind after He-Man single handily yet again saves the day? Of course people are going to want to thank him but they can’t just have someone say ‘oh I don’t know actually good question he just kind of disappeared’ Then just like that right on cue Prince Adam with another one of his lame excuses. “Oh I know I see him gallop past me on battle cat on the way here – I see he’s rescued you all from evil again then – Good old He-Man”.

Like OK maybe it’s just me but this cartoon really just makes me scratch my head. Man-At-Arms for instance – So he knows He-Man’s secret identity right. Well it’s like and I noticed this in the 2002 series especially – he has an awful tendency to always cover for Prince Adam even if he has to lie.

It’s so funny though because at the end of the episode it usually has one of the characters making a moral speech about what’s right and wrong. One week it might be – be careful who you trust or give your friends the benefit of the doubt to for example. Usually some kind of social dogma that plagues us all whatever it might be. Don’t do drugs. Be polite to your elders, or whatever.

So in one part of the episode Man-At-Arms will be like ‘Wait a minute Prince Adam - No you weren’t at Snake Mountain earlier when He-Man was trying to stop Skeletor from releasing the Shadow Monsters (lie). You were here at home weren’t you?’ (lie) Wink. Wink.

Then at the end of the episode, in one of these moral speeches he will be like - ‘In today’s episode of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe; Orko learned a valuable lesson about not telling the truth to his friends. When Ram Man and Mechaneck were savagely beaten up by Beast Man and Trap Jaw, because he wasn’t honest with them he learned it’s not good to lie. He learnt a valuable lesson it’s always best to tell the truth and that’s why kids you should never tell lies’.

Good point and I know he usually only tells little white lies because no one must not find out Prince Adam is He-Man (as obvious as it is) but what a hypocrite.

I’m with Skeletor on this one cackling away like every time he just so conveniently manages to escape from He-Man yet again. Quite funny actually but that’s the other thing it’s like the guy they all know where he lives with his goons in Snake Mountain – why don’t He-Man and the rest of the guys just go and sort him out once and for good.

Have to nod my head at this one sorry but quite frankly this is why Thundercats and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were on TV for so much longer surely. Not so many plot holes.

Somehow they never managed to run out of ideas like those over at Mattel. ..

I mean I have read about what new characters that would have been included. A Black Guy with a clamp on his hand. A muscle bound warrior with a robotic elephant on this head, and the rock people Rokkon & Stonedar, then a Cybernetic Knight.

The black guy Clamp Champ was apparently set to be introduced as a somewhat genius responsible for creating the bulk of Eternia’s tech in place of transformed Snake Man – Snake Man-At-Arms.

Wonder if he would have guessed He-Man’s identity. I mean what genius wouldn’t?

You can blame it on the toy line all you like Mattel but Skeletor should have been dealt with a lot sooner. Especially seeing as this guy claims to the master of the universe.

Although I have seen some of the toys they released after the TV show was cancelled maybe best it ended when it did. Worst thing the bold choice made that now girls like He-Man and as cool as She-Ra was apart from Hordak oh dear – MOTU with hose nose if only I live to see the day that Evil Lynn get’s her wicked way, and that He-Man gets to fight again lol

My conclusion let’s all keep a blind eye – a Dolph Lundgren like He-Man . Or Dolph Lundgren Prince Adam oh. Maybe his son Ralph Lundgren could be Prince Adam for new movie – and don’t mean to take the mick but what about Cuba Gooding Jr. as Clamp Champ. I swear only thing racist about this movie – Jitsu Jitsu Jitsu lol Jackie Chan anyone?

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