Choose The Moment
I could not tell you if it was the recent stay in the hospital, the most amazing past weekend spent at Christ's feet, or the fact that all of my plans got demolished before my own eyes, but somewhere in the midst of everything I found myself in the moment. There I was laying in my grandmother's spare bedroom with all three of my beautiful children laying next to me in bed. One with their arms wrapped around my neck and the other with their legs overlapping mine as I tried to reach for the third to make sure they did not feel left out.....my moment. I looked up at the wall and saw an old picture that had two beautiful white himalayan kittens playing with a ball of yarn. I remembered that picture being in my great-grandfather's spare bedroom when I was little and we used to go stay with him. I can remember being a young girl laying in bed with my mom or cousin looking up at that picture as I tried to make myself go to sleep. I looked over to see the same lamp on the same dresser just as it used to be in my great-grandfather's house. My wonderful childhood when everything was almost perfect. All I had to worry about was what next adventure I could imagine with all of my great-grandfather's old stuff around. Was I wandering through the jungle riding on his elephant table stand he had sitting next to his chair? Or had I discovered an old gold mine in the outdoor stairwell to his basement? I had a great imagination as a child. As I laid in bed with my three beautiful children with all the memories of my childhood flooding my mind I had a slight thought of everything that I was facing and wondering what the outcome of my life would look like in the future, then I said to myself, "be here, be here in this moment". You see, I am a planner. I never used to be, but currently I have become obsessed with planning. I am sure it has nothing to do with being a control freak. If I can plan it and everything goes according to my plans I feel I have succeeded. I say that for this reason, my mind is constantly planning out the next step. If I am in today I am thinking about tomorrow, the weekend, next week, next month, and even next year. Planning away my little perfect world, but God has placed people in my life that are not planners. They seem to think it is fun to ruin my plans or at least change them, even if they don't mean to. I know God has placed them in my life because he is teaching me the lesson of the moment. James 4:13, 14 says, "13Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit."14Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.…" If you are a planner you know what I am talking about. It is the most difficult thing to just sit down and enjoy the moment. To not think about later that day or that evening, tomorrow or the next week seems impossible. The thought that my life is like a vapor that will vanish and all of my little plans will vanish with it scares me to death. The thought that I am going to blink and I am going to see my babies walking down the aisle of the school gym with their graduation caps and gowns on petrifies me. How many moments have I missed because I was too busy planning what the next step was going to be? As I laid there, I knew I could have tomorrow and the weekend all figured out if I thought about it long enough, but as I looked at my babies laying there I chose the moment. I laid there and did not think of anything but how thankful I am to be blessed with these three beautiful blessings. I enjoyed every minute of my moment. Lord, I know that you created me to be who I am. I also know that at times I take control of the plans you have for me. Lord, I surrender control to you and I take my hands off the steering wheel. Lord help me to live in the moment. Help me to see the moments around me and so that I will choose to be apart of them. Help calm my mind and my emotions so that I can truly be in the moments that you have prepared for me. Lord I thank you for the moments that you have blessed me with and the moments that are yet to come. Help me not to miss one of them.