Christmas Crumbs and Chocolate Fancies - Short Story

When Gillian decided to cook dinner for 14 people, it never crossed her mind that the day wouldn't be quite what she envisioned.

For starters, her best friend Julie decided that actually it would be a great idea to bring her three kids, two dogs and one irate husband with her.

The husband she could cope with, but Gillian wasn't quite, well lets just say, partial to children! Oh she didn't mind looking after one at a time, but for some reason the blueprint for motherhood had passed her by. Okay, lets face it, she hated kids!

'Ah well' she thought blowing her hair off her face, and wiping her forehead with her right arm while stirring the thick cream blob in the bowl, 'Its only one day. What can possibly go wrong?'

Oh yes! the dogs! Where the heck was she going to put them? They were yappy little things at the best of times. Unless she shut them in the study. Yes! great idea! Just as long as they didn't pee on her husbands best Moroccan rug. Never mind we will come to that when it happens. Okay, what next?

Gillian had loved cooking ever since she left school. She had spent three years at culinary college, and came away with an endless supply of cookbooks, loads of ideas, and a brand new husband to try them out on.

She had met Peter just after leaving college and setting up in London. After a short dating life, and even shorter engagement they had settled in quite nicely in Peter's flat in Chelsea. With both of them working, and with the sale of her Flat they had enough money for the rent most months and a bit left over for goodies as she liked to call her new cookery ideas. In fact Gillian was a bit of a 1950's wannabe.

She loved all the old pictures of 'Good wives' looking after their husbands, and cooking 'amazing' food. Heck, she even dressed like 'I love Lucy' the popular TV program, and hated anything to disrupt her fantasy.

And woe betide anyone, and I mean anyone, getting in the way of her baking!

Of course her husband loved her recipes. In fact she couldn't remember him ever disliking anything she had made in the kitchen. His favorite of all though were her Chocolate fancies.

Whipped cream mixed with coco a touch of cinnamon, and the secret ingredient passed down from her mother. Dark and light chocolate mixed with brown sugar. Heat it all up then leave for ten minutes.

Then taking the bowl from the table she began to laddle the mixture into the mini cake tins, and place them in the fridge to set. There! all done. Ready for her guests.

Leaving the kitchen she walked back into the dining room and observed her handy work. Chicken, nibbles, cakes and lots of wine.

'That should do it' she smiled and slowly walked up the stairs to get changed.

So far the evening was going well. The two dogs were behaving, the children were too, sort of, and Julie..where was Julie? had helped her plan the whole thing.

'This is marvelous Gillian, how do you do it?' Betty leaned over the canapes, her cleavage nearly causing a disaster with the souffle. Gillian swiftly saved the souffle, shrugged and said ,

'Oh you know, I just love cooking. Peter's a darling, he always likes to taste the stuff I make, its a wonder he isn't as fat as a cow'. Grimacing, Betty laughed. 'He is as thin as a rake, what's his secret? lots of exercise, or er...too much sex maybe?' She burst out laughing and walked back to her seat, grabbing another cake as she went.

'What a strange thing to say'! Gillian stopped what she was doing and stared at Betty's back. 'Why would she say that?' thinking about it, Gillian realised that actually it must be exercise that kept Peter thin, because she couldn't remember the last time they had made love.

Was it last week? A month? She startled. No! it was nearly three months ago! They had both been so busy, and...'

Well it was rather difficult trying to get Peter to act like a good 1950's guy too. In his words its rather stupid isn't it sweetie?!

'Darling! have you any more Canapes? Your food is delicious!' Tom, Sara's husband, who always sounded as though he was about to go on stage, called across the room.

As the evening progressed, Gillian was soon caught up in the praise from her guests, and totally forgot about what Betty had said. Time ticked on, and it was soon time to ease the guests out of the house with as least amount of fuss as possible.

Julie's husband had left a while ago with the children, but had left the two dogs for his wife to take home. So far they had behaved themselves and not turned into a yappy horrible nightmare!

Suddenly there was an almighty crash! it sounded like it had come from the kitchen!

Entering the kitchen the first thing Gillian saw was the remains of the Christmas cake splayed across the floor. The two dachshunds had escaped and were relishing the free gift of food. Wagging their tails ecstatically while licking crumbs of their snouts.

'Oh hell, how on earth did this happen? Bad dogs, no, no leave it alone, oh don't then...!' Reaching under the table for the dust pan and brush she suddenly saw movement in the study which sat directly across from the kitchen.

'Hello? anybody in there? And what clever person let the damn dogs out? They are eating my cake!'

'Hello? Oh damn and blast and fiddlesticks, are they deaf?' Gillian stomped across to the study, ready to give someone a good telling off. But as she slammed open the door the sight that greeted her choked the words in her throat and all that came out was ..

'Whaaaat?'

There on the new Moroccan mat, splayed out in all her full glory was Julie, naked as the day she was born, covered in Gillian's chocolate fancies! And Peter caught like a rabbit in the glare, could only stutter....

'But th...th..the Chocolates are gorgeous I always love your chocolate fancies? Gillian? Gillian? What are you going to do...? Arghhhhh............!

All the neighbors could hear at 11 pm at night, in a quiet neighborhood was a muffled scream, followed by a loud bang. Then quiet.

Peter was never the same again. Nobody knows exactly what Gillian threatened him with, but from then on Peter came home like a dutiful husband every night, sat and read the paper and quietly went to bed.

Julie on the other hand, was spotted staggering down the middle of the road at 3 am covered in Christmas cake and an assortment of canapes and vol-au-vents filled with chicken and asparagus. Her favorite if Gillian remembered, as she hissed under her breath while wiping the floor clean. There that's better!

Standing up she checked the floor, gave one more wipe and then sashayed across the room till she was standing in front of the mirror. Leaning forward she touched her lips with her fingers, wiping away ...tomato sauce...? And then reapplying her lipstick.

Standing back she gave a sigh, pulled at her dress to straighten it and headed up the stairs.

'I must bake some more Chocolate Fancies tomorrow, such a waste....such...a....waste'.!

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