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Chuck Norris Jokes

Updated on February 29, 2020

The sign of a good sense of humor is to be able to face the jokes made at your expense with a smile. An Internet joke icon, yea verily - a true legend amongst the Internet meme phenomenon is Chuck Norris himself. All over the Internet there are lists and lists of fine one-liners and exultation of the nigh-omniscient power Chuck Norris holds over the universe.

This former Walker: Texas Ranger star, intense martial artist, action star and acclaimed author is also a Christian minister with his own church! It is no wonder that a man of his intelligence, caliber and strength of character would be nearly immortalized in a long string of oneliners.

Chuck's Reaction

Chuck Norris can't go anywhere without encountering these jokes, as widespread as they are through youth culture, in games and all over the internet. So what does this martial artist, actor and all around awesome guy have to say about the jokes?

Now apparently Chuck Norris has a blog of some sort which you can read here. His response to all the "Chuck Norris Facts" can be found here. Go ahead, the link opens in a new window so just flick over and read for a second. It is unadulterated hilarity.

I'd say that these jokes we all so lovingly tell via email, text message, throughout the Barrens chat in World of Warcraft, and everywhere else are taken in stride, in fact Mr. Norris himself LOVES them!

What is your favorite Chuck Norris Fact?

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    • profile image


      9 years ago

      chuck norris counted to infinity twice

      when the boogy man goes to sleep he cheaks his closit 4 chuck norris

    • profile image

      Jays storrs 

      9 years ago

      Chukchi Norris round house kicked hulk in the face. Hulk is now hiding in the forest and is known as shrek

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      chuck norris dosent need to flush his toilet he already scears the shit out of it

    • AmeliaMercedies profile image


      10 years ago

      My favorite has to be:

      Chuck Norris can believe its not butter.


      Chuck Norris can eat only one lays potato chip!

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Interesting hub. I am very guilty of making Chuck Norris jokes, but refraining because it can be a touch much.


    • Cayden Ryan profile image

      Cayden Ryan 

      10 years ago from Strasburg

      A blind man was once walking down the street when he stepped on someone's toe. The man said, "Do you know who I am?"

      The blind man replied, "No." The man said, "I am Chuck Norris."

      At that instant the blind man was instantly able to see from hearing the mere name, and the first and last thing the man ever saw was a round house kick to the face.

    • VikingChampion profile image


      11 years ago from AwesomeMcAwesomeville

      Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish MS 

      12 years ago from USA and Asgardia, the First Space Nation

      He became Christian when he remarried and got rid of his chain of taverns equipped with cigar smoking lounges. I did not know has has a church, though.

    • rmr profile image


      13 years ago from Livonia, MI

      Walker Texas Ranger changed my life! Just kidding. He's the man, though. Had no idea he had a church.

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 

      13 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      I don't know why but I've always been a fan Of Chuck Norris's. Starting with his really 'cheesy' karate movies in the 70's. His were our fave drive-in movies...

      great hub

      regards Zsuzsy 


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