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Church Humor: Cut The Mic, Please!

Updated on January 11, 2016
yes.....but I really don't want to
yes.....but I really don't want to | Source
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beauty is where we find it | Source
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What were you thinking, Eve? | Source
Death is not an option. Holding on til the end.
Death is not an option. Holding on til the end. | Source

Is Eve to Blame?

I must admit, I struggled with choosing an appropriate topic for this hub. Hopefully, by the end of reading it; you will discover why. On yesterday, a pastor's wife was given the awesome privilege of introducing her husband as the guest speaker before a fairly large church congregation. Many in the audience had never met him or heard him speak before. Not uncommon at all, right? She was a very lively, energetic woman who I'm sure gave complimentary, endearing accolades about her husband, her pastor.

So why is it that the only two things I remember her saying is that she did not want to marry him and she thought he was ugly .

Being that they have been together for 36 years, 34 of which have been in holy matrimony; it was no news flash to him, I'm sure. Of course there was laughter; she had a great stage presence and delivery...she was witty, engaging, confident, totally at ease. He was smiling.

How could an introduction that started out so beautiful, take such an unexpected twist; I wondered as I listened on intently. However, everything else that she said about her husband totally escaped my mind. I just couldn't get past those words and they are what's left in my memory bank of her husband's introduction.

Was it humorous or did I just not get it? Why is it far easier to remember the unpleasantries than the pleasing?

Is Eve to blame for we women who seem to talk a little too much, too long, at the wrong place, at the wrong time? I think we really do just love to hear ourselves talk. In Genesis 3: 4-5, we see Eve talking to a serpent. Why didn't Eve just say, "excuse me for a minute; let me go get my handsome husband, the man from whose rib I was made"?

Maybe Job's wife is to blame. In the bible in Job 2, we find God and Satan having a conversation about Satan testing Job. Satan's hope is that Job will curse(renounce) God when he has lost all of his material possessions and family. How does this tie in with my topic you may be wondering? Look at verse 9 of Job where Mrs. Job tells her husband to "curse God AND DIE". Satan didn't say anything about taking Job's life; he had already made an agreement with God concerning Job's life. But nooooo, Mrs. Job took it to another level. Makes you wonder whether or not she really wanted to marry Job or whether she thought he was ugly!

Mr. Job, unlike Mr. Adam, didn't just look googly-eyed at the Mrs., smile, and bite. Instead, Job looked at the Mrs. and said, "You sound like a fool". Job looked his wife square in the eyes and penned the words to singer Darlene McCoy's latest hit single "I shall live and not die; I'll finish strong!"

James 3: 8 talks about the tongue and how no man (and apparently woman too) can tame it. Is it any wonder why Paul wrote in I Corinthians 14: 34a "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak"?

I'm just decide!! I say CUT THE MIC, PLEASE!


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    • YvetteParker profile image

      YvetteParker 5 years ago from AUGUSTA, GA

      Great perspective and insight, WannaB Writer. Yes, I agree, unflattering comments and behavior are not gender specific. Thanks so much for reading and sharing your comments.

    • WannaB Writer profile image

      Barbara Radisavljevic 5 years ago from Templeton, CA

      That's interesting. They say that children remember best the worst things their parents say to them, too, and fathers can be just as guilty as mothers in this department -- maybe even more guilty. I'm afraid we are all sinners, male and female, and we all need to manage our tongues. Remember that Satan also tried to use Peter to tempt Christ not to die.

    • YvetteParker profile image

      YvetteParker 6 years ago from AUGUSTA, GA

      Thanks Gusser! I declare sometimes we can go completely over the top!!! My momma used to call it 'running slap out'!!! lol!!!I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

    • profile image

      Gusser 6 years ago

      Great fun and a little truth too.

    • YvetteParker profile image

      YvetteParker 6 years ago from AUGUSTA, GA

      Thanks for reading my article!

    • YvetteParker profile image

      YvetteParker 6 years ago from AUGUSTA, GA

      As much as I wish human nature wasn't that way; you're right, Anjili, it is.

    • Anjili profile image

      Anjili 6 years ago from planet earth, a humanoid

      Bad things always glare at us compared with good tidings.

      A dark smudge on your white slacks is very conspicuous. It over shadows its background by attracting attention. It is quicker to make enemies than friends. I bet that is how life is.

      Black absorbs while white reflects.

      Blame it on nature.