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Colossus - Barnsey's Attempts at Poetry

Updated on May 6, 2012

A True Romance

Ode to Colossus

He was imposing and grim in appearance but beneath that armored hide there was the soul of a poet. He was the opposite of everything my father told me about the russian men. He was not simple minded or pacifistic to a fault, he was reluctant but he always stood for what was right and true. Even when that would align him against his friends and allies, as occured upon a rare occasion.

Piotr was a painter of true artistic talent and he would have been pleased to ponder his favorite muse rather than go out and do battle. In physical strength he was nearly as strong as the top tier of Marvel strong guys. Just above him was the Thing and below him the She Hulk but his relative invulnerability was another bonus the others did not possess. As long as he remains in his armored form he needs neither air nor food and water.

I will attempt to recite a poem worthy of this great example of men. Not just super men, but ordinary, honorable men as they should be. This true gentleman deserves no less. As a closing note who is with me when I say why don't they just have Kitty marry Piotr and get it over with? Vote on it!

Colossus

Living breathing solid steel

pull me apart like an onion peel

So much taken not yet regained

armored figure barely restrained

He'd say, There is the foe and why do we wait?

heedless of the danger or the damage he'd take

No threat too great nor promise of death

He need not drink nor bother for breath

No friend truer than this armored knight

keep your honor to your left and find Colossus to your right

The fiend foe, alien smasher, mordock flinger

Artiste extroadinare a true soul singer

Colossus, stand aside or be flung away

living must wait, the sad hero saves the day

But what do you seek oh poet of man?

Only to love as deep as I can.


Who deserves the affection of Colossus? Who would be best for our tortured favorite?

See results

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    • Barnsey profile imageAUTHOR

      Barnsey 

      6 years ago from Happy Hunting Grounds

      I like it, I will absolutely try it out! A few of my poems are actually songs or parts of songs from my past, there is a clear difference between those and my man poetry. Appreciate it!

    • TomBlalock profile image

      TomBlalock 

      6 years ago from Hickory, NC

      I'll check it out. I jump from one thing to another so much, I hadn't made it back to see the other articles you've written. A word of advice, though. I've heard a lot of poets look down upon lyrics, but in many ways, lyrics are just poems with more complex rhythm. I'd even say they can be more difficult. I'd say find a simple rhythm, maybe pair it with bass or drums to set a slow, more thrumming rhythm, and try to write a poem that way. In fact, it might be interesting to match the rhythm to the character to add extra depth. I would see Colossus as slow, plodding, but steady, for example, and the rhythm in the poem matches that by happenstance quite well. Not perfectly, but then, it wasn't designed to, either.

    • Barnsey profile imageAUTHOR

      Barnsey 

      6 years ago from Happy Hunting Grounds

      THank you, though I was a musician and a singer in two bands and writing songs was my forte I find writing poems a bit more of a challenge. Also, I have read the work of some truly poetic souls here on hubpages and would never compare myself or my work to theirs. I am writing this series of poems in homage ot various Marvel characters as a fun experiment in which i hope to improve my skills. Thanks for reading, p.s. I think you would truly enjoy the Wolverine poem.

    • TomBlalock profile image

      TomBlalock 

      6 years ago from Hickory, NC

      Not a bad poem. Especially not bad considering you word it "attempts at poetry," indicating you haven't written a great deal of it in the past, or maybe I'm reading into it to much.

      The poem has good rhythm, although the meter is off significantly enough to disrupt the flow completely in a few places, such as "keep your honor to your left and find Colossus to your right / The fiend foe, alien smasher, mordock flinger."

      I'd also comment that the point of the poem seems vague, as it does wrap up the poem with "But what do you seek oh poet of man? / Only to love as deep as I can," yet mentions little to nothing about Colussus' need or desire for love during the somewhat romanticized portrayal of the superhero.

      If I had to offer advice, I'd elaborate a bit on the theme of forlorn love, and smooth out the meter. All in all, though, not a bad poem at all.

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