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Complete This Story: Trouble in Paradise, Exercise 1

Updated on July 23, 2009
dohn121 profile image

Dohn121 is a freelance writer who currently resides in the foothills of the Shawangunk Mountains of New York's famed Hudson Valley.

Ready to Write?

Hello everybody and thank you Brenda for bringing me an apple today! (Just kidding, Brenda) On my first ever "Class on Writing" the submissions/support was overwhelmingly above and beyond anything I expected. I thank all of you who worked diligently and so submitted your work to me. All of your stories were nothing short of incredible! (Get it?)  One of you writers even asked me if it was possible to submit your stories somewhere. It's definitely something that I will look into. Until then, I got somewhat of a random scenario I brewed up and so that it be fun as an exercise in which a random scenario is chosen and then the story is completed by the writer. Here it is, as you can pick any of the three scenarios concerning love gone awry:

Write a short-story (max. 500 words)

1) A typical high school girl who, after getting dumped by her boyfriend goes off to work at a fast food restaurant. To make matters worse, while working at the drive-thru window, she gets held up by someone with a gun. Explain to the reader what happens from this point forward and come up with an ending.

2) A man is awoken one morning by the sound of a doorbell.  Upon opening the door, he finds a baby girl inside a car seat atop his welcome mat.  He looks up to find a car with a woman behind the wheel taking off like a bat out of hell.  As she's doing so, she's giving him the one-finger salute.  Implement this scene into your story however you want.

3) An affluent couple who after having learned from their pilot that their private jet just completely lost power must decide whether or not they should admit to the other that they had an affair.  Just as before, you can use this portion of your story at either the beginning, middle, or end of your story.  The choice is yours.

I hope you like it the expanded selection. You can reply to me with the completed story via email. Good luck everyone! I can't wait to see what everyone cooks up!

In case any of you are not familiar with my 55-Word Story hub:

Welcome to Burger Barn by SpyderBytes

The masked man ran off with the cash from the register. Laura leaned over and picked up the wallet she had seen fall from his pocket when he pulled his gun.

Glimpsing at his ID confirmed her suspicion -- the robber was Ralph, the jerk who had dumped her hours ago! She smiled.

Revenge is sweet.


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    • dohn121 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      Ha! It's finally done. Although I'm happy to hear your interest in Revenge, I apologize for not finishing it yesterday. I too was busy doing my best to earn a living :D I'll write for you for as long as I can Maita, you know that ;)

      I hope you're having a good day as well. It really does stink when our teams lose, doesn't it? It usually ruins my entire day whenever my Giants lose :( Talk to you soon!


    • prettydarkhorse profile image


      9 years ago from US

      Hi Dohn, I want to write short stories, but I dont really have time, there are a lots going on in my mind, many stories, hmmmmm, been busy making a living is all and writing here too, for the meantime you can write for me LOL< waiting for your continuation of Revenge,,,,,,

      hope your having a good day, and yes even if steelers lost I am still writing, I got frustrated when they lost,,,


    • dohn121 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      Ha! I got another one due in today in a few hours. I want that 100 hubscore. That's my next goal. Hope I can pull it off!

    • blondepoet profile image


      10 years ago from australia

      Gee Dohn how on earth have you managed to do some many hubs in two weeks? Is there a little pillow on your PC and a fridge attached to the side panel LMAO....

    • dohn121 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      Hey, no animals were hurt or injured during the production of this hub!

      In case your wondering why our first story sounds familiar, it's because it was posted on my 55-Word Story hub. Because it meets both guidelines, it gets to be published on both. SpyderBytes did a great job on this.

    • Cam Anju profile image

      Cam Anju 

      10 years ago from Stoughton, Wisconsin

      I agree with nicomp!!! :^O^:

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 

      10 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Don't shoot the kitty!

    • Cam Anju profile image

      Cam Anju 

      10 years ago from Stoughton, Wisconsin

      Looks cool!

      I love the kitten... ^-^ hmmmm... (goes off into deep thought)

      Great hub! :)

    • dohn121 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      Not a problem, ralwus (anagram for walrus, huh? Clever). This exercise is open indefinitely. Stop back in to take a peek at what other have written if you like...Which reminds me that I too need to submit one!

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Sounds like fun, but I just don't have the time right now. May think on it tho'. Interesting plot and I could do it.

    • dohn121 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      Brenda-Yeah, I don't think it a problem for you to mention McDonald's or Burger King, etc.  You my actually help them inadvertently because you're using them as a "plug."  But overall, there's a lot of wiggle room here.  Just pretend your this girl (first person narrative) or make believe you're her manager or co-worker (third-person narrative) or even the narrator (third-person omniscient narrator).  See what I mean?  Just have fun with it!

    • dohn121 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      Hello, SweetiPie-I thought it a good number. If your over by a few words, I'm not going to have a hissy fit. I was always beaten on the head about being tight wad with words. One of my mentors gave me this formula:

      First Draft - 20% = Final Draft

      It's been working for me so far. And remember, you don't have to mention the part about the girl being dumped and then has to go the fast-food joint where she gets held up. All of this information is prior knowledge. You as the writer is picking up where that part leaves off. Good luck Sweetie Pie.

    • profile image

      \Brenda Scully 

      10 years ago

      loking forward to doing this a.s.a.p........ good subject, can we use mcdonalds if we want, like you can can't you, I can find out what they have there an all

    • SweetiePie profile image


      10 years ago from Southern California, USA

      It sounds like a fun idea, but stories always exceed this number of words.


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