Confession From An Adulterer
I knew a man who could not eat nor sleep when the heart in his throat makes it hard to speak.
Tears of blood fall from his cheeks with guilt heavy as a wooden cross he could not even walk on his feet.
The secrets he hide is like cancer it kills him inside.
Just look in his eyes, He seen so much pain it’s like his pupils being crucified.
No lie, so he get drunk and high with a knife in hand just contemplating suicide.
Why? Because with every tears he cry he realize he married and his mistress pregnant on the side.
Scared to confess to his bride so he walk as a loyal husband in disguise.
Acting like nothing happen with a smile that’s define as a perfect art picture of a lie.
His emotions and brain are fried because driving with Adultery is a hell of a ride.
So many decisions on his mind and can’t even decide.
Even if he hit her with the truth he Would not be able to look her in the eyes.
He has to be honest, He’s full of shame with a guilty conscious.
His act of self was monstrous so how can he revive her broken heart with a broken promise.
He wanted sex but did not want the consequence.
Did not use common sense, and regretting for not practicing monogamous.
In the past he was not fond of it but now he lost all confidence and wish he can sleep forever in his unconsciousness.
In the past he portrayed to women as a single man.
So he pop the can of what seem fun but it no pringles can.
Spiritually he was an arsonist, obsessed with playing with fire.
But never knew they would find out and call him a liar.
Cuss him out and tell him I’m tired.
And call his wife phone and somehow leave his car with a slash tire.
They say what’s done in the dark comes to the light.
But he’s done dirt in the day and the night so every dirt he’s done came to life.
In the past he was faithful, treated his wife right.
But everything changed when they constantly argued and fight.
Overwhelmed by her insecurities and verbal abuse.
Clothes thrown on the stoop even when he’s telling the truth.
Her loony behavior was affecting his career.
An atmosphere of drama that he felt he could not bear.
Tears fill with anger because he did not want to be here.
And he wanted to retire this marriage because he was not having a Good Year.
His heart turned to ice and wanted a divorce.
Willing to divorce God’s promise like mothers do when they get their baby abort.
But it never happen because he only had funds for mortgage.
And going to court is expensive like sin he could not afford it.
But his wife unexpected attitudes were foreign so he did not bother to cure it.
So instead of taking the time to compromise he chose to go outside his marriage and explore chicks.
Now he realized that in spite of his marital battles she never was unfaithful to him.
He thought she needed to change but the only person that needed to change was him.
Over the months she dramatically change and in the long run he stopped his promiscuous ways.
But it hurt when his mistress told him she was pregnant that day.
He drank beers after beers with eyes filled with tears.
Because his wife been trying to get pregnant for years.
He scare and don’t know what to expect.
He love her to death and if she ever leave, she’ll leave with the heart in his chest.
He regret what he’s done, He sorry and he confess.
He pray’s that she forgive him and hoping to start fresh.
He love her and still want her and do anything to gain her trust.
This obstacle maybe rough, forgiving him will be tough, but he’ll work on himself to show her that he’s worthy enough.
If she choose to divorce they’ll be scarred forever.
But whatever decision she’ll make, he’ll still love her forever.
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