Confessions from the emotional
Chapter 2 Part 2
So now I find my self asking how I got into this. This love is the hardest thing for me to go through. The love of my life..Ace Alester.. Came back into my life. Its the girl meets boy, girl is best friends with boy, girl loves boy, boy asks out girl, Boy gets girl pregnant and cheats on her in high school, girl leaves boy, boy hates girl, story...
So then we became friends again. And I told him about the guys I liked and asked for advice. Turns out the whole time he was growling and yelling at the computer screen. Ace and I live miles apart. Ace lives in Arizona and I in Wisconsin. When he came back for winter break everything changed. We hung out and ended up revealing feelings for each other. We started saying I love you and picked up where we left off..That was probably the worst thing that we could have done. Its been 3 years and we are both different people. He did fall for who I was and I fell for him but nothing should ever be rushed. He said he needed space on the trip down to Arizona. He sent tons of mixed signals and said
"We need to take it slow. Whenever things go fast they get ruined." and I cried.
Then he told me that he wouldn't be happy with anyone else. We were both confused, in love, and young...
Now I am back in Wisconsin and he is in Arizona. He has tried to comment on my statuses and text me and I haven't really talked to him. Today a guy I used to like, Aiken, told me that Ace is taking it slow because he doesn't really want to be with me that I don't mean that much to him and that I should just move on. Now if you could feel what I feel then you would feel a smashing feeling in your heart and your soul, and then a questioning.
Was Aiken right about Ace? Ace doesn't lie to me he is always honest and I gave him the chance to tell me he didn't want me. And he choose to want me. So what do I do now?
I honestly didn't know. I just knew that my heart was in so much pain that it was hard to stand. I went to the one person that I can truly trust, mom.
She looked at the tears in my eyes and simply asked "why are you questioning your self? If he didn'tr want you why would he have you come down to Arizona, meet his friends, hold your hand in public, tell you how much you mean to him?"
