DEATH- Desperately Eagerly Awaiting The Hour (of eternity)
Desperately Eagerly Awaiting The Hour (of eternity)
The last metro left the station making a deafening noise. Roop tried to look outside the enclosed glass windows as the fag trail of the giant train left alone the sombre station for the night. She closed her eyes to shun out from the eyes of the co passengers.
“Hold my hand, look at me, I will take you to the land of eternity”- What did Deshraj replied to this? Roop was scouting her mind! Probably he said “how can I hold thee!” or did he say “It’s dark here Roop I can’t find your hand!” She couldn’t remember, strangely!
“Station –Netaji, platform is on the right hand side” the baritone voice announced the name of the station. Roop clutched her tote bag as she made her way towards the exit. Station, Mastar Da Surya Sen, platform is on the right side – the voice yet again brought her back to the reality.
It’s almost 10:30. Glancing at her watch Roop hurried towards the staircase.
“Roop, close your eyes for once”- Deshraj said as he whispered into her petal soft ears
“What is it?” Roop asked quizzically. “O this is lovely”- her eyes flushed, her cheek glowed as she looked at the little black dial of the vintage Rado.
“You liked it?” Deshraj asked lowering his voice to a whisper
“Yes, it’s beautiful” – the green rhodium of the dial flashed inside the lightlessness of the car.
The Rhodium still shines, the little dial still draws admiration, the golden band of the Rado still hugs her wrist as it did that evening.
“Excuse me maam … that side is closed, please use the underpass”- The metro security halted her as Roop tried to take the shortcut route to the outlet.
Embarrassed Roop coyly slipped away. The heady smell of hashnuhana filled the air. It reminds her of the approaching winter!
What’s the date today! Roop thought to herself. 21st November, is it! Yes, today is the 21st day of November. How many years it would have been since she met him last? One year, two or should it be five! Seems to be an eternity!
How many years it would be when for the last time she sent him the mail - We couldn't make it deshraj but still we have a date in hand - a date, a particular time when we once again live on the edge. A date which might either make us fall in love with life or help us in taking refuge of the unseen. A month, two , a year or five! Yes, she has lost count of day- time and year.
Digging out the address from her brown fat tote bag Roop crossed the road. Excuse me, where do Tiktik live? Roop asked the boy with the hazel nut eyes.
“Whom are you looking for ? the doe eyed boy asked
I am looking for Tiktik, Roop whispered
Come with me- the frail boy slipped into the dark by road
The meandering alley was sleeping like the venomous snake. The tic tac toe sound of her stiletto wounded the silence of the night. They walked while passing some of the darkest streets of notorious Kolkata. The heady and heavy smell of marijuana filled the air as they stood in front of a cave like house.
Walk inside- you would be able to find Tiktik da.
“Wait there” - the heavy voice commanded Roop.
What brings you here? The voice echoed in the darkness
“I guess I have already briefed you over the phone” Roop answered convincingly
Tiktik approached towards Roop. The huge figure was obnoxious enough to trigger her nausea. The smell of marijuana was almost numbing her.
“This is the photograph, I want you to chase this person to kill her” Roop handed him an old photograph
As if Tiktik has received a shock of 440 Volt- This is YOU- he shouted.
Yes, This is my Photo Tiltik, Your prey. You have to chase me to kill me. If you win I die and if you fail I live. Either way I will be able to live!
I am sorry lady I don’t kill MAD PEOPLE. You appear to be completely insane. Do you know what are you talking? You want me to kill you? Well, if you want to die you can pop some sleeping pills, You can jump in front of the running vehicle ! Why on earth have you come to me?
Roop closed her eyes and said almost in a trance. You know Tiktik I no more can love life. And how will I survive if I am not being able to love the sunshine, if I fail to admire the white patina of the silvery moon. Tell me once, how on earth will I be able to live if I can no more fall in love with madness! Yes I can die a million time but before doing that I simply want to taste my madness may be for the last time - I simply want to live on the edges to see if I can yet again love living!
Tiktik help me once .. tears welled up her dark, black watery eyes. Looking straight into the crooked eyes of Tiktik Roop continued – I will start running tiktik and you start chasing me with your loaded six shooter. Try killing me and I will try to save myself. Let’s see if I can once again fall in love with life; if at all once again I desperately feel the desire to live!
Run Roop Run.. I am chasing you … She heard the heavy voice.
Looking up at the sky Roop smelled the night’s aroma!
She wanted to write a last letter to him. “I cant write you a letter now deshraj but let me tell you something interesting Roop thought to herself.
Have you ever been in the hillside? i know you must have. And how have you felt standing at any of the dangerous corners where nothing but death lurks? You felt nervous right? and desperately you tried to look back to gauge the safety of your existence. That's what our reflex is and that's why we are alive. Right at the moment I am standing at the threshold of life and death. Probably for the very first time I could understand the true nuance of the quotation “To Be Or Not To Be”. I Could clearly hear the approaching footsteps of Tiktik the killer. I might die, I might live, who knows! I have not seen tomorrow!
Where are you going so late? the old lady asked Roop as she ran through the narrow alleys
“Scavenging Dreams”- she replied
“The old lady laughed a pitiless hoot – “ My fair lady, dreams rest in the fold of eyes.. Go home, sleep!
Roop ran from one lane to the other as the footsteps chased her! The lonely moon hung cruelly that night.