DID and the Why questions...
DID and the "why questions"
DID and the why, Questions??
Having DID leave’s me with a lot of why questions…Most times it is impossible to get by every day without asking the question why? Each day can be very difficult especially when I lose time. Losing time is a major part of having multiple personalities. It is usually called “switching.” It can be very scary because it is as if you lose a part of your life and not remembering what happened between that times.
One minute you can be doing something and your fine, the next time you realize time it could be several hours , minutes or even days of not knowing who you are where you have been or even what you have been doing. Scary! What’s hard about sharing my story is thinking that how people react to people like me. It is very hard for family members because they have to most times pick up the pieces and try to figure out what happened during those times. It’s not easy…
I know there are many out there like me who know exactly what I am talking about. You’re not alone. I most time feel like some type of freak…Becoming a different personality who does not share your thinking and has their own values, value system and ways of doing things that even myself when I am myself don’t agree with. What hurts the most is not having control over your own mind because you mind has learned how to split itself into a part of you without your consent. It’s hard because anything I see or experience can trigger something in me or a personality to take over so that it can help me to cope during that situation.
I know what I speak of can sound pretty amazing or even unbelievable to many people but I wish it were not true. Why? Is the biggest question that I will never be able to answer, which is hard because no one can truly understand what I go through unless you have experienced it yourself. The only thing I have is family who can account for these switches. Unfortunately it hurts because family can be harsh and mistreat you because of my behaviors when I become someone else.