There are some things I really can’t try
They make me go insane
One of them is D.I.Y.
It ends up ‘Do It Again’
So you call in the man in the know
There’s plenty here he can fix
I hope he’s all set to go
And not just up to his tricks.
You’ve heard of some who like to con
Or sit around drinking their tea.
So I hope he’s not trying it on
Or the jobs come back to me.
They start banging around
Knocking holes in the plaster
You’re willing to bet your last pound
It will turn out a real disaster.
But they have now finished and
they’ve put back the walls and the sockets.
They now charge a few grand
And leave gaping holes in your pockets.