Lost in You
You Swallowed My Soul
It was you who pulled me out, exposed me.
I trusted you to take precious care.
My slow surrender an expression of deepest belief.
In your hand a vicious knife, and my throat laid bare.
You slide the blade across my flesh, taking what remains...
As though all I ever was now belongs to you...
Is it any wonder at this place in my life
Which is steeped in cavernous darkness,
That the fear would pull at me so savagely?
So as I write this do not condemn me of not fighting,
My vulnerable heart afraid to persist its hollow pounding,
For I struggle to find that which I have given away.
If you had felt this rush of agony,
Like ice slashing into my consciousness…
A flash; a searing, branding intoxication.
Slipping down my throat like sweet acid,
Grasping my neck in saccharine surrender,
You also would fear going another step.
The churning of my thoughts once kept me…
My silence an armor, protecting my very essence..
Now I feel as though my very truth is questioned,
With each superficial word I find all my illusions break.
My love is staring down a precipice of terror and
I find myself fighting to stay within my own thoughts.
I fight now, to grab the words from my inner depths,
And to find the reason behind this possessive, jealous fear.
Though I feel its brand, I belong to no one.
Each moment an agonizing wrenching of my soul,
As though I were holding it under a great wave, drowning it.
And me and my soul, plummet into deepest obscurity, detached…
Settling separately into the peace of infinitesimal darkness.