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Dating Rules, Farting, and Library Etiquette (Limericks)

Updated on June 30, 2012
Source

Do You Know Your Basic Manners?

Here are some basic manners or rules you should live by. Have you ever wondered what you should or should not do while out on a first date? A first date is your first impression, and you do not want to screw things up! What about that moment when you really feel the strong urge to fart, do you give in? Have you ever thought about what the proper etiquette is at a library? These are all very important questions, and I am glad you have asked them. Why? Because I am going to hopefully provide you with some answers in the form of Limericks. Please enjoy!

First Date: What Not To Say

You look really different online

But we can still be Valentines

Our waiter is hot

I like him a lot

Maybe you aren't a good find

Source

Too Fart or Not to Fart

The feeling is too much to bear

The pain is an awful despair

If I weren't on a date

I would have a clean slate

And my fart would then have some air

Source

Library Ettiquette

You should never yell or run

Unless you are saving someone

Never steal a book

They will call you a crook

And don't ever beat up a nun

Source

Have A Great Day!

I hope you have enjoyed these rhymes

Because they took up some time

Please write a response

If you would want

For that would be so very kind

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    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Maria,

      Thanks for your hilarious comment! Have a great day!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Maria,

      Thanks for your hilarious comment! Have a great day!

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Gosh, Josh...are you sloshed when you think of your subject matter...(LOL)!

      You have given me a serious case of the giggles... excuse me (if you know what I mean) but I'll catch you in a bit... UP & FAB! Hugs, mar

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Sue,

      Thanks I am glad I could give you a laugh!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 5 years ago

      Hi Josh,

      Thank you for my morning laugh. ROFL

      Voted up up and away

      Enjoy your weekend. :)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks again Dana! Yes I am having fun, just a little :)

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      OMG! The fart one is priceless!!! glad you are having fun with these.

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Haha, that is too funny MH! LOL

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 5 years ago from San Francisco

      in my college days, a girl was so nervous to meet me she couldn't stop farting. really.

      As far as limericks: how do I sign mine?

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      HAHA, thanks Debbie! :)

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Josh these are so funny.. I wish you would have gave directions to some of my past dates.. LOL.. Love your poems.

      voted up

      Debbie

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      LOL Thanks for stopping by! :)

    • Ann1Az2 profile image

      Ann1Az2 5 years ago from Orange, Texas

      Josh, interesting, to say the least. If a person memorizes these limericks, they'll know exactly what to do in each situation! lol

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks shining, glad you enjoyed it! :)

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 5 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Giggle giggle, THIS WAS GREAT!!

      Voting up

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed them! :)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Haha! these were great! really funny so voted up! cheers nell

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks GDR, glad you enjoyed it! :)

    • GDRshop profile image

      GDRshop 5 years ago

      I enjoyed reading this =)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Hahaha LOL Hilarious TT, and again I will not answer your thought :)

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      I wonder if Josh takes his first dates to the Library and promptly farts to weed out the keepers from the not so much. :)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks Vikci! glad you enjoyed them!

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      I really like limericks, but I don't think I'm any good at coming up with them on my own. Great job, Josh. Very funny!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Haha, thanks Christy! :)

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Hehe funny! These words are sure ways to NOT get a second date :)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks so much Rebecca2904, glad you enjoyed them! :)

    • Rebecca2904 profile image

      Rebecca 5 years ago

      These are really funny, it's a treat just to stumble upon them like this :)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks lipnancy, glad you enjoyed it! :)

    • Lipnancy profile image

      Nancy Yager 5 years ago from Hamburg, New York

      You make me laugh. Great hub.

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Aww, thanks TT so much! I really appreciate it! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks so much Uncle Bill, yeah I couldn't think of a word to rhyme with with one or run, and nun seemed to priceless to turn down lol Glad you enjoyed it! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks Domco! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Nice Limerick til, and thanks for the votes! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks again M, appreciate it!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks glimmer, glad you enjoyed it! :) Thanks for the vote!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks Janine for the comment and votes, glad you had a good laugh!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks so much crazzy!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks so much lorde, glad you had a goof laugh!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      *shaking head* Josh...Josh...Josh...just when I saw a glimmer of "all grow'd up" in ya, you revert back to the fun loving, happy go lucky, playful 12 year old. lmao! Great job. No epic fail here. :) VUM.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      "Never beat up a nun"....???? Laughed out loud. There is something about limericks that has me laughing from the first word to the last. Well done nephew; you are quite good at these.

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 5 years ago from UK

      I'm always confident for sure

      Of the literary talents of Joshua

      He may write about farts

      And the meeting of the hearts

      But quality he does always assure!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      You've chosen some everyday things

      And provided advice with new rings

      To bring us a smile

      Sharing thoughts all the while

      And we surely enjoyed all this brings!

      Loved it Josh. Voted up, funny, and interesting.

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 5 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      Heheheh! another success write J! all my votes!

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Glimmer Twin Fan 5 years ago

      Loved the first date one. Laugh out loud funny. Voted up.

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 5 years ago from New York, New York

      Josh, yet again you have given me a good laugh today. Thanks, shared and voted up of course :)

    • thecrazzykylex profile image

      Crazzy Kylex © 2012 5 years ago from Incredible India!

      Damn funny, Josh! You really deserve a vote up!

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

      The pick up lines left a smile in our face...running to the bathroom after feeling my human race right behind, told me that your words were so timely done... hope you keep writing magnificent prose. Finally I'm done with this call from nature. Much fun, much joy. Thanks for the chuckles man!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks gypsy, glad you like them! :)

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up. lol These are great.

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks, I appreciate it! Thanks for the vote!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 5 years ago from Singapore

      These ones really kicked the message in Josh, and didn't dilute the funniness! Voted up on it.