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Those Seven Ways to Lie

Updated on August 26, 2018
It's getting where a bird can't stand His T.V. anymore...
It's getting where a bird can't stand His T.V. anymore...

Watched a show just the other day, called "Seven Ways To Lie".

Every time that it comes on, there's no common sense to apply.

I can't help myself when I have to stay, see what happens next,

What strange character comes to town. or how all do get hexed.

The old sheriff in that story has a name, is called "One-eyed Jack",

His behavior and the way he acts has no reason or of any rhyme,

Why He's the Sheriff, has only one eye, no one there really knows,

He's never solved one single mystery, or convicted any of a crime.

If these old gnarled limbs could talk.They'd say...let that poor bird have its freedom!
If these old gnarled limbs could talk.They'd say...let that poor bird have its freedom!

The lawman there is always hood-winked, for he has a crazy wife,

Called "Witch Hazel" thereabouts, and she carries a pocket knife.

She threatens everyone, to cut off their ear, but this is just for fun,

You'll never predict what happens right then when they all do run.

The other day, a new man in town was lost, was asking his way,

Witch Hazel directed him to the jail, said it was too quiet that day.

As it turned out, Barney was his name, he was a sheriff, himself,

Old One-eyed Jack, just let him go, then jumped in a pool to play,

I plan my escape...
I plan my escape...

As luck would have it, a donkey named Fred, he got loose that day,

A deputy tried to round him up, got kicked in the caboose, they say.

He was air-lifted by helicopter to a hospital, ten or more miles away,

Everything was fine, except a horseshoe design, he still wears today.

A mad old proprietor of the local pub began charging folks too much,

Laughed in the face of the sheriff, locked his doors too late, and such.

Operated a moonshine still over the hill, another business on the side,

The locals ranted and raved when old Tom, the undertaker almost died.

Would someone give that blasted bird a sedative?
Would someone give that blasted bird a sedative?

Now that you've heard about this story, coming on a T.V. every day,

Don't you see my predicament, I'm driven nuts in almost every way.

I can't help but to watch the crazy episodes, my wife rules the roost,

Once in a while, I smile, watch a game, my mental state gets a boost.

When I try to fly out the door, from my perceived cell, where I'm caged,

My wife, her feathers all are so ruffled, at a point, easily she is enraged.

I lay the blame on that darn show, seven ways to tell a Lie, once again,

Seems there will be no end to it, I squawk, I'll have to endure the pain.


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    • whonunuwho profile imageAUTHOR


      15 months ago from United States

      Thanks Eric. You are the only one of twenty who commented. Thanks for your support, my friend, Many blessings. whonu

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      15 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      That is a cool way to get across a point. Good on 'ya


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