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Dead Baby Jokes (Warning: DISTURBING)

Updated on June 30, 2010
  1. How do you make a dead baby float?
    Take your foot off of it’s head.
  2. What’s sicker than driving over a baby?
  3. What’s funnier than a dead baby?
    A dead baby in a clown costume!
  4. What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
    You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
  5. What has 4 legs and one arm?
    A Doberman in a children’s playground!
  6. What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
    One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
  7. What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
    Nailing it to a dead puppy.
  8. When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
    When it starts talking to you again.
  9. How many babies does it take to paint a house?
    Depends how hard you throw them.
  10. What’s worse than smoking pot with a baby?
    Making a bong out of it
  11. What’s more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 50mph?
    Stopping it with a shovel
  12. What’s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
    You can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
  13. What’s the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup?
    The dead baby won’t stick to the roof of your mouth.
  14. Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
    So you can tell which ones are still alive.
  15. What’s present do you get for a dead baby?
    A dead puppy
  16. Why did the baby fall off the swing?
    Because it had no arms or legs.
  17. What’s the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip marker?
    You don’t get second looks when you’re writing with a felt tip marker

Dead Baby Jokes Poll

What do you think of these jokes?

See results


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    • profile image

      patrick 17 months ago

      Whats the best tjing about dead baby jokes

      They nwver get old

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      SwiggitySweg 24 months ago

      Q.How do you make a plumber sad?

      A.Break his legs and kill his family

    • profile image

      Gage 2 years ago

      What's worse than ten dead baby's in a barrel?

      One dead baby in ten barrels

    • profile image

      Chunk Norris 2 years ago

      What sits in a corner and gets smaller?

      A baby combing its hair with a potato peeler...

      What's the best part about F*****G a five year old?

      When their pelvis snaps...

    • profile image

      Mr guy 3 years ago

      What's the difference between a baby and a Mars bar? About 100 calories

    • profile image

      Sick Freak 3 years ago

      Q: How do you get 10 babies in a bowl?

      A: With a blender.

      Q: How do you get them out again?

      A: With dorito chips

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      4 years ago

      They all died by the death note.... I would know.

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      5 years ago

      How do you stop a baby from choking? Take your dick out it's mouth.

      What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection.

      How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of ice cream and one scoop of dead baby.

    • profile image

      lol 5 years ago

      Ahh! i love these jokes! so funny i fell off my bed laughing! LOL LOL LOL! :)

    • profile image

      ZNGH 5 years ago

      What's sicker than dead baby jokes?

      A dead baby with a fever.

    • profile image

      with an H 5 years ago

      Ha these always make me laugh (;

    • profile image

      Awesome Kid 5 years ago


    • profile image

      majjorness 5 years ago

      haha SWAAAAAAG!

    • profile image

      SWAAAAAG! 5 years ago

      What the hell isn't wrong with us peoples

    • profile image

      luke 5 years ago

      what the hell is wrong with you people

    • profile image

      Nyrene 5 years ago

      What's sicker than dead baby jokes?

      Live baby jokes.

    • profile image

      PenguinsRock123 5 years ago

      How many dead babies can fit in a trash bag? 7 and a half

    • profile image

      Adam 5 years ago

      what's the difference between jelly and jam? you cant jelly your dick in a dead baby

      ---Nothing is to far---

    • profile image

      allison 5 years ago

      wtf man that's not funny

    • profile image

      RayMarie 5 years ago

      What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

      You take your cleats off to jump on a trampoline :)

    • profile image

      rygir23 5 years ago

      what's more fun than nailing a baby to a tree?

      RIPPING IT OFF!!!!

    • profile image

      Jewmanshew 6 years ago

      What's black and bubbly and taps on the glass before it explode's?

      A baby in a microwave

    • profile image

      red99beast 6 years ago

      what's worse than reading dead baby jokes doing one of them that you just read.

    • xtraordinaryx profile image

      xtraordinaryx 6 years ago from Singapore

      seriously disgusting . i wish i never read it. lol

    • profile image

      Bwam 6 years ago


    • profile image

      Stephanie 6 years ago

      What's sicker than dead baby jokes,. Nothing ;p

    • profile image

      Zayla 7 years ago

      What's warm, tasty and hallucinogenic?

      Baby's adrenal glands.

    • iwritegood profile image

      iwritegood 7 years ago

      I love dead baby jokes