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Dear Deb---Ask Me and I'll Help You

Updated on May 1, 2010

The First of Many to Come I Hope

     Allow me to explain what this hub is supposed to do, and the we will see if it works.....

     I am sure that all of us remember first Ann Landers, and then her sister took over, and there was a Dear Abbey column in every newspaper in the country.  Well, I think that mostly because a lot of people now get their news either from the television, or from the online computer, the Dear Abbey has been lost and forgotten. 

     Do not misunderstand me, or think of me being pretentious, by thinking that I could possibly be smart enough to fill her shoes.  But consider this, even if I am asked questions that I do not know the answer, the world today has many many resources and ways to gets answers to almost any questions.  There are even numbers you can call if you need to know the answer in the next minute and a half.

     Now, I have collected a few questions from people in advance so that I can write this, and get started, and so I could introduce to you all the new and improved Dear Abbey, we have right here at, Dear Deb, and it is easier than ever to ask your questions, you just find this hub, and in the question box, ask away.  I will do my very best to be not only of service, but to be entertaining and perhaps even funny, so if you all agree and will help me along with the question part, we will have this service available.

     So, with all of that having been said, let's begin with the questions I got from a couple of volunteers, right here on hubpages.  

     I was asked by a gentleman: 

     Why do women feel as though they have to lie about the things that I tell them specifically they do not need to lie to me about.  For example I told her, you can be honest with me about where you go when you have girls night out, or who you confide in.  No matter what it is, if I say I will understand and it will be alright, they seem to go out of their way to lie.  Why?

Sir, I can think of two good reasons this happens right off the bat.  First, let me first compare this with a child who you tell, if you want to you can play with this toy.  Even though the child might really want to play with it, he may become suspicious of your intentions, or what is wrong with the situation, for it simply does not happen very often.  The women are feeling the same uncertainty given the fact that they probably have had bad experiences with men who haven't trusted them.  You know the old saying, if it seems to good to be true?  This might apply.  Also, some of the more cautious ones might feel like it is a trap.  They may settle down to be honest if given enough time and you prove true. 

Another question from a female who asks?

   When I had a rotten job and was making minimum wage, I struggled to buy anything extra for myself or the house, and then I got a better job where I made several dollars an hour more, which made my checks at least two hundred plus dollars every two weeks more, and I find that I still do not have enough money to do the things I need to;  I cannot figure out what I am doing, but somehow I am ridding myself of  the extra cash.  Any ideas??

     This happens to almost everybody I know.  I would take a chance and say it happens to almost everyone.  It is human nature to make yourself happy by purchasing things you like, but may not need.  Women often will buy items like magazines, makeup, an article of clothing, or other items that might make her feel as though she is spoiling herself.  It is an example of instant or almost instant gratification.  Most of the items are not expensive, so it is justified as OK.  The thing is that most do not realize is that each little purchase, by the end of the week adds up to quite a bit more than you might think.  Also, people tend to buy fast food more often when they have money in their pockets.  Pay attention to your actual spending by putting the receipts off every purchase into a drawer and add them up once a week or so..


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  • JY3502 profile image

    John Young 7 years ago from Florence, South Carolina


  • Paradise7 profile image

    Paradise7 7 years ago from Upstate New York

    Dear DD: how do you respond to criticism from an in-law? Politely ignore it? (Husband's mother). Just grin and bear it? Or come up with something subtly cutting, to get her to QUIT!