Dear MFB III...Could You Please Help Me?
Dear MFB III- An Advice Column For Troubled Souls.
Dear MFB III....Could You Please HELP ME???
An Advice column for troubled souls.
Since most of the advice columns are usually written by women,
which is great, don't get me wrong, I thought I might start a
column to answer problems, and share life experiences and
solutions from a man's point of view.
This of course is all done in fun, and the author assumes no responsibility for the answers given.
They are suggestions in poetic form that might help you make a
choice on your own...or not.
You submit a question to me in
the comments box, or send it confidentially to my E-Mail.....addressed to Dear MFB III- Send it to Opeeango@go.com
and I will give you an artistic, and sensible answer
that just might solve or help alleviate what you are dealing with.
I seem to do a lot of this in my comments to others
so I want to create an avenue for it elsewhere.
Please allow up to a week or so for answers, although I will try
to get to you as soon as I can.
I will attempt to answer all questions in a poetic way with sound reasoning that is easy to understand.
Please be aware that any advice given is from personal
experience or from set beliefs, and is not meant to be considered
expert advice by any means....have fun and send me your dilemma's
Thanks, MFB III
*****All adult orientated advice will be answered by e-mails privately.....
to protect younger poets from reading it and also protect the privacy of the sender..... Thanks.
Some Questions I have answered
in the past....from another successful column I ran.
Great column, and great idea....
I have a question, maybe you can help. I have been with my husband for almost eight years. He has a son from a previous marriage. Everything was great until we got married, and had other children. (Last five years). Now his mother has also remarried and has had children. All around the same time. But concern is that he has a major problem with me and I can't understand why. I have been tring for five years to rebuild our relationship. He won't talk to me half the time, show no respect when in our home, and he tends to take his anger out on my children. If he gets into trouble for something, my children, 5 and 3 seem to get the brunt, and that means he calls them names, he has even put his hands on them, but I don't know what to do. I am at the point where I will ask anyone for help and advice. I love my stepson, and I hate see him act this way all the time. I am sure you were a teenager once, any advice on how to get through to him that I am not his enemy. I just want to love him and be a part of his life.
....First off we both understand that he lost his real mother, he only gets occassional visits and she now has other children to occupy her time most...plus his father was also replaced by her.
His mother was replaced by you, and his dad rejected his mother, as well as her rejecting his dad, you have children that also are part of his dad, which sets him even further back on the burner in his mind.
He is having trouble finding a place amidst all of this.
For eight years he's watched the metamorphis of his first family into two groups, and now he is the leftover in both places.
There really is no where else for him to go....but as a teen he has still a few years to be with someone.
Explain to him in a gentle way some of what I wrote above, but couch it in his best interest. Do not fool yourself into thinking he knows less then all that has been stated above, children of divorce are wise beyond thier years, and often must be treated more adultlike on some issues.
And don't think that he will love you unconditionally, you must earn his trust, by renewing it with him, and renewing his sense of family.
Offer him your support, and tell him that you are sorry he has had to watch his family fracture and be rebuilt but that his love and his being a part of your family is of dire importance to you..and that you would like to be his friend at least for as long as he is there with you and his dad.
Ask him to suggest what he thinks you can do to ease the remaining years with his father and you until he goes off to college.
Tell him that your two kids, feel a bit of the splintered effect too, they have a stepbrother from their dad's other life, which is a big mystery to them, and why it gets confusing for them too, plus the fighting builds more confusion and resentment, and he should be sympathetic with them because they also have some confusion.
Divorce creates these dilemmas. and only love can repair the breaches, but it has to be acceptable to the ones who were seperated from what they knew as true.
I would also call Dr. Laura...she is acidic but she has good advice on family turmoils such as this...the bottom line is he needs to know you love him equally with his siblings, and you want to make up for the loss of his real mother when she is not there by being a mom who will never leave him, and offer all this in writing or in any way you can...hope this helps...MFB III
help me!!!help me!!help me!!help me!!!!please
dear MFB III
My friend is mad at me because I'm dating this one guy she wanted to get together with and I did not know.Yesterday she told me that she was jealous because I'm finally happy for once in my life.Later I found out that she has a crush on him,it's been a month that he and i have been together and she was the one who gt us together!! MFB III please help me cause it isn't my fault if he asked me out and she helped us get together.it's also not my fault if he wants someone who is smart,and has something to offer.
Dear Helpless.... Send her this poem..
Friends only want happiness
for friends that they love
we both know a guy
that we're both dreaming of
you had him meet me
never telling me whether
he was yours, so he
thought he and I'd get together
now I find out that
you're mad and you're jealous of me
at a time in my life
when I'm very happy
he asked me out after
a brief meeting through you
would you want me to
he'd asked you
I value your friendship
I'm true to the end
would you like me to ask if
he has a good friend
if it means losing you
then I'll just set him free
and give you a chance to
be happy like me
but if I was in your shoes
I just laugh and say "Wow!"
it's so nice to see my friend
wearing such a big smile!"
then I'd find someone else
just like him whose out there
we could laugh again, double date
and we'd repair
our dear friendship I've always
thought beyond compare.
try this it may help....MFB III
Dear MFB III...I got a good one. I recently went up to another city with a friend (her boyfriend attends the university) and I really hit it off with one of her boyfriends roommates. Well by the end of the day this roommate had kissed me - and coincidentally also had a girlfriend. Well I later come to find out that this guys girlfriend is also one of my friends good friends. So now she's freaking out and is REALLY pissed at me for kissing him, and REALLY pissed at him for cheating on his girlfriend. She thinks it is her place to tell the girl that he cheated. The guy has every intention of telling his girlfriend - just on his own time. My real question I guess is how the heck do I get it through her mind that this is none of her busineuss and it is not her place to interfer?
Dear Kiss And Don't Tell....
If you tell her.... he kissed me
you make him less in her eyes
cause he's planning to tell her
without a hurtful surprise,
it would come so much better
if he broke it himself
your tattling's a cold slap
put that urge on the shelf
plus you'll damage our friendship
things in confidence spoken
should be kept between friends
lest three hearts will be broken\
if he fails to reveal
that he kissed me and strayed
sometime soon.... like ten days
then I'll say it's o.k.
I value your friendship and
all of your friends as well
I didn't know she was his
I got kissed please don't tell
I am sure she'll reveal
in a loud voice to you
if he tells her he kissed me
she'll be crying and blue
if she doesn't act bummed
after ten days go past
let her know very gently
he's a cheating Jackass!!
hand him this poem as well
it will cause him to ponder
how to apologize
when his lips like to wander
it's a fair way to do it
keeping friendship alive
if he ask for forgiveness
maybe love will survive.
hope this solves the dilemma...Thanks for your letter...
just blue screen this and hit copy and then move it to your site or microsoft word and then print it....and smile you did nothing wrong you just fell prey to a guy looking for some fun with someone other then his steady.....
Hey MFB III
this is a fun idea as an artist expression. hope it doesn't get taken too seriously or you'll have 50 on-th-verge-of-suicide notes to deal with every day.
as for me... i might sleep better at night if i could figure out why i have like 200 socks and 3 that match.
and in the spirit of a good night sleep, i'm holding you responsible for each casualty of cotton-something covering until i have it all otherwise explained.
Dear Socks to be you.....
The dryer is a hungry beast
upon your socks it often feasts,
and then of course they often stick
inside a dress or blouse so slick
of course it is quite funny when
your walking and they fall out then,
in school or in the mall you shed
that long lost sock you presumed dead!!!
I might suggest you put them in
a pillowcase for thier next swim
close it up snug with safetypins
so the dryer beast cannot get in.
LOL.....................Hope this helps~~MFB III
Here's another answer to a letter that was lost, much like some of these friendships probably.....
To a six pack of friends in disarray.....
Dear heavenly smacks, This sounds like a twisted Friends episode, You left him-(Carl) for your best guy friend-Mark- temporarily? Then Carl turned around and fell for your best girlfriend. Suddenly you got jealous of what you had lost, because she is always telling you how great Carl is. But then there is Mark who you always thought of as your best guy friend, and your other best girl friend Nicki who is a confidante of Mark tells you everything he says....about your new love with him. So here you have six friends who are not acting like best friends. You should be happy for your best girlfriend, she has found joy with your old boyfriend. You like Mark very much or you would not have left your old bf, so tell him to stop detailing everything to Nicki about your love with him. Then tell Nicki you would rather hear it from Mark when she starts telling you what he says, and trust Mark not to fall for Nicki's flirting, you can flirt better then that...right???!!! Tell Carl you are so happy for him that he found a girl who you think highly of, and wish them both well. Tell her (Carl's girl) that is, to stop detailing all of Carls assets to you cause you are happy with Mark, and happy she has Carl. Tell Mark to talk to Nicki about anything but your love, cause that's personal stuff, and it makes a special bond between two people...it's not to be shared....and remember that even the word friend has an end in it....and lover has the word over in it. If this continues...you need to find some friends that are true to you over all others....hope that helps in some way...whew, what a episode that would make...lol ~~~~MFB III
Dear MFB, My fish only float.
My Billy ran off with my nanny goat!
My dog has run off with my cat?
What do you think of that?
My girlfriend is gone and so is my song.
I seem to be up the moat without a boat!
Dear Mickey, in regards to your plea-- My fish only float........
I have dealt with floating fish before...and found that if you sprinkle a liberal amount of salt water into the tank or bowl, it revives quite a few. I had one Goldfish that I was rather fond of, who was floating so I gave him CPR.. I used a straw under the water and blew air into his gills, as I am not into fish kisses. and he lived about eight months more.
My Billy ran off with my nanny goat!....
Goats tend to be a wee bit horny, and we should not grow attached to them in any way, because they prefer to be attached to any female goat in every way rather then dealing with an affectionate human who treats them as a pet.
My dog has run off with my cat?....Most likely your dog was chasing your cat and accidentally forced him to cross a raod and get hit by a car...and now he can't come home because he is lost on a guilt trip. Buy a puppy and a kitty and that should fill the emptiness for now, then if he does ever come home, he will have a puppy to play with and leave the poor cat alone.
What do you think of that?
My girlfriend is gone and so is my song.....
the best way to attract a new girlfriend is to appeal to thier love of cute things. Spend a couple of weeks in areas that are populated with women of your tastes and style, Take your new puppy there on a leash in one hand and cradle your kitty over your other arm. Most women can't resist cute animals, and will be drawn to pet them and talk to them and maybe even talk to you...once they see how you care for cute things, with the rationale that they are also cute and you will treat them nice .
I seem to be up the moat without a boat!....just use the drown proofing we learned in the corps, the moat is almost always a circle and eventually you will get around to someone who will rescue you and pull you out, it might be your missing dog, or a lady who remembers you as a pet lover, or a policeman who will ticket you for swimming in a public place, but you will eventually find some dry land.......LOL!! I hope I have been of some help.~~~MFB III
P.S.- You might try putting a couple of baskets on your bike, to keep your kitty and your new puppy in while you ride. Women love men who care enough to take their best friends with them on all of their favorite jaunts. Eventually you might need to get a tandem bike....lol