ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Red Raindrops and Quietness, a Transparency of Me

Updated on August 16, 2010

1. RED RAINDROPS 2. QUIETNESS, A TRANSPARENCY OF ME

RED RAINDROPS

They come to me like insects,
Black and devious, quick and brutal,
Searching out my weaknesses,
Slicing me open wherever I am fragile.
Then they crawl in… those decrees of poison.
So quickly they are swept up in the rush of my veins
Those dark thoughts of yours,
That haughty look of yours,
And your incessant condemnation and disapproval.
They belong to you, those words forged into knives,
Yet they are running in my blood and infecting my soul.
Not one, not two, but thousands of tiny wounds
Like paper cuts…
Each day new cuts spring a scarlet drop of blood

Marring my once alabaster surface until all I see is red….
Alone they are weak against my resolve,
But together, those thousands of cuts are killing me, draining my life
And I can but stand watching each red droplet join the stream
Running like red raindrops down a window pane,
Slipping along my skin to a pool on the floor…
I stand surrounded, nowhere I place my foot is safe.

I want to take up my armor, be strong, impenetrable.
To deflect your poison so meticulously planned for my demise…

Your cruel declarations, so many drops you take...
Your malicious smirk as you turn away,
How I hate those little pricks… and the acid on your tongue.
Leave me while you can… leave while I am paralyzed.

I was blind for mere days, just hours,

Now I see you and the traps you laid, seeking to control something wild.

You underestimated my desire for freedom, and now my eyes are open.

They see the red raindrops sinking into earth, staining it with my agony.

You have made me stronger, and now you will see…

Your pain will join mine before you will escape.


QUIETNESS and a TRANSPARENCY of ME

Quietness has been my most loyal companion

For within it there is peace and there is thought.

Silence has become deeply entwined with me,

Like another being, it carries me from place to place…

It protects me like a shroud, but does not sadden me.

Rather quietness holds me wise and tranquil,

When I would rush in unbidden, wild,

It holds me still and comforts me.

Quietness has made me many weapons,

I picked them up in shadows and stillness.

I guard the distance around me, prepared for they that wait.

My own body once betrayed itself,

My eyes like warring countries and my tears hot and fierce.

Now Silence keeps me, and burns my fury to ash.

My feet once were so determined for desolation and solitude

But now I find that other self, that transparency of me…

In Quietness I meet that transparency of me,

The one who cannot resist the stars or the dust.

It lunges for the unreachable, for the night sky, and the hot earth,

Desiring all that awaits, but not ready for the bite of noise and scrutiny...

Now in lack of word, my actions must be truth.

Because as my lips are closed, I emerge from many other places,

From a scent or a star, and my sadness is revealed only to the moon.

In Quietness it rages for me,

For no longer are my tears hidden, and quiet am I.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • russiangypsygirl profile imageAUTHOR

      russiangypsygirl 

      8 years ago

      Thanks for the advice Seanorjohn... And the compliment. I'll try it out.

      And thanks so much for reading Ladybird! Means a lot.

      Cheers!

      -Gypsy

    • Ladybird33 profile image

      Ladybird33 

      8 years ago from Fabulous USA

      Very moving, really enjoyed the read!

    • seanorjohn profile image

      seanorjohn 

      8 years ago

      Those thousand cuts... they kill us all.Your hubs deserve a much higher score. I think you are losing out because of wordcount. Put two hubs together just as an experiment. Glad to be your follower. Don't feel obliged to reciprocate. I just write whimsical nonsense .

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)