ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Decoy

Updated on April 16, 2012

Decoy




I feel as if I’m wasting away


I’m all alone


I have no one for me


No one to call my own


Somehow I don’t think anyone understands


It seems everyone has someone but me


And I feel as if no one knows me at all


They only see what’s on the surface


A dark and distant decoy of my true self


But no one wants to see underneath


And no one understands everyone has someone


Everyone that is except me


I feel as if all the pain in my head will make it swell and explode


And then I would cry blood


But would anyone see me for who I am then


Or will the decoy remain the one with the attention


Will there be anything left once the decoy is raised and praised so high


Will there be anything left of me


Of my true self


Or will I fall and the decoy rise


And be what everyone wants him to be


Tell me please can you see me


Can you see who I really am


Or do you only see the decoy


So dark and distant that it pales to the reality of me


Tell me for real can you see


Or are you deceived


This decoy is taking control


And its not for the best


And in my chest I can feel all my failures swelling


Can you see it now


The deception that leads you from who I am


All I can do is try and fight


But how can you beat a copy of yourself


No matter how fake and unreal


How can you win


When it seems that’s who everyone wants you to be


That decoy not your self


How can you win in the end


The battle against yourself


But once I’ve wasted away maybe you’ll see the hollow truth of my decoy


And maybe you’ll miss me


I want this decoy to fall away and I want you to love me for who I am


Not who you want me to be


Tell me in the end how you can beat the one standing in the mirror


I don’t think you’ll ever understand


But as long as you try


Maybe the one standing in the mirror will fall and I will rise again


And the decoy will be thrown away never to be heard from again


Or will it be I who is thrown away never to be heard from again


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Dee42 profile image

      Dee42 

      6 years ago from Beautiful Arkansas

      Sorry about the question marks,BeyondMax. It was supposed to be a smiley face and a peace sign. (two fingers up). Lol

    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 

      6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      What a great emotional poem, it touches my heart. Deep.

    • Dee42 profile image

      Dee42 

      6 years ago from Beautiful Arkansas

      Ya had me at ' I FEEL'. Very moving and great hub. And I can see you. ????????

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)