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Updated on April 16, 2012


I feel as if I’m wasting away

I’m all alone

I have no one for me

No one to call my own

Somehow I don’t think anyone understands

It seems everyone has someone but me

And I feel as if no one knows me at all

They only see what’s on the surface

A dark and distant decoy of my true self

But no one wants to see underneath

And no one understands everyone has someone

Everyone that is except me

I feel as if all the pain in my head will make it swell and explode

And then I would cry blood

But would anyone see me for who I am then

Or will the decoy remain the one with the attention

Will there be anything left once the decoy is raised and praised so high

Will there be anything left of me

Of my true self

Or will I fall and the decoy rise

And be what everyone wants him to be

Tell me please can you see me

Can you see who I really am

Or do you only see the decoy

So dark and distant that it pales to the reality of me

Tell me for real can you see

Or are you deceived

This decoy is taking control

And its not for the best

And in my chest I can feel all my failures swelling

Can you see it now

The deception that leads you from who I am

All I can do is try and fight

But how can you beat a copy of yourself

No matter how fake and unreal

How can you win

When it seems that’s who everyone wants you to be

That decoy not your self

How can you win in the end

The battle against yourself

But once I’ve wasted away maybe you’ll see the hollow truth of my decoy

And maybe you’ll miss me

I want this decoy to fall away and I want you to love me for who I am

Not who you want me to be

Tell me in the end how you can beat the one standing in the mirror

I don’t think you’ll ever understand

But as long as you try

Maybe the one standing in the mirror will fall and I will rise again

And the decoy will be thrown away never to be heard from again

Or will it be I who is thrown away never to be heard from again


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    • Dee42 profile image

      Dee42 6 years ago from Beautiful Arkansas

      Sorry about the question marks,BeyondMax. It was supposed to be a smiley face and a peace sign. (two fingers up). Lol

    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      What a great emotional poem, it touches my heart. Deep.

    • Dee42 profile image

      Dee42 6 years ago from Beautiful Arkansas

      Ya had me at ' I FEEL'. Very moving and great hub. And I can see you. ????????