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Decoy

Updated on April 16, 2012

Decoy




I feel as if I’m wasting away


I’m all alone


I have no one for me


No one to call my own


Somehow I don’t think anyone understands


It seems everyone has someone but me


And I feel as if no one knows me at all


They only see what’s on the surface


A dark and distant decoy of my true self


But no one wants to see underneath


And no one understands everyone has someone


Everyone that is except me


I feel as if all the pain in my head will make it swell and explode


And then I would cry blood


But would anyone see me for who I am then


Or will the decoy remain the one with the attention


Will there be anything left once the decoy is raised and praised so high


Will there be anything left of me


Of my true self


Or will I fall and the decoy rise


And be what everyone wants him to be


Tell me please can you see me


Can you see who I really am


Or do you only see the decoy


So dark and distant that it pales to the reality of me


Tell me for real can you see


Or are you deceived


This decoy is taking control


And its not for the best


And in my chest I can feel all my failures swelling


Can you see it now


The deception that leads you from who I am


All I can do is try and fight


But how can you beat a copy of yourself


No matter how fake and unreal


How can you win


When it seems that’s who everyone wants you to be


That decoy not your self


How can you win in the end


The battle against yourself


But once I’ve wasted away maybe you’ll see the hollow truth of my decoy


And maybe you’ll miss me


I want this decoy to fall away and I want you to love me for who I am


Not who you want me to be


Tell me in the end how you can beat the one standing in the mirror


I don’t think you’ll ever understand


But as long as you try


Maybe the one standing in the mirror will fall and I will rise again


And the decoy will be thrown away never to be heard from again


Or will it be I who is thrown away never to be heard from again


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    • Dee42 profile image

      Dee42 5 years ago from Beautiful Arkansas

      Ya had me at ' I FEEL'. Very moving and great hub. And I can see you. ????????

    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 5 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      What a great emotional poem, it touches my heart. Deep.

    • Dee42 profile image

      Dee42 5 years ago from Beautiful Arkansas

      Sorry about the question marks,BeyondMax. It was supposed to be a smiley face and a peace sign. (two fingers up). Lol

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