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Diary of an Ex-Atheist

Updated on May 23, 2016

April 25th

Fairly blurred vision, pull into focus and regard the miniature knight's helm. A poorly splotched large patch of bright red paint adorns it's pinnacle and the surrounding area. A chess piece about 2 inches tall, then pondered 'hmm, yeah have been doubting faith a little a the mo', Johnny Cash then burst through with '-and behold, the white horse!', smile as look at the dude's little white horse.

I'm currently smoking a joint, I'll be stopping soon, many reasons, this is the last pick-up for a long time, life almost at point of destroyed unless get grip of it asap.

My Dad just came home, could tell was only just able to hold self number of times from having argument, the smoke is definetly effecting my mood balance / temperament. Though not as much as his lack of sleep.

Willy Mason - Save Myself (House party at Maria's)

My cat, who has been refusing to come out my Dad's bedroom all day, finally emerged, I threw a few biscuits for her, she promptly complained the door to the toliet (where her litter tray is) wasn't open. After briefly bemoaning the fact she promptly had a very stinky shat on the white long furry type rug, lovely end to the day. I tempered my father's displeasure by saying will get her 'done' asap so then can put her out for an eve to do her business.

He spent a large portion of last night shouting and balling about her, however he immediately showed gentleness and asked 'she won't get beaten up will she?'. My Father is 75, and is a self confessed cat hater, the type that love cats.


It's about half twelve, just started a game of chess with my dad. Wondered if the pot would have drastic effect or not on ability to play, after about three moves realised hadn't even set the board up properly and had to reset it.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Man On Fire

It's about 1am, one joint left to roll.

Tove Lo - Habits (Stay High) - Hippie Sabotage Remix

The Glitch Mob - Fortune Days

30th - April - 2016

Actally considering Pepsi Max is the worse thing i'm consuming at the moment fairly regularly, I'd decided this bottle would be the last as a kind of test, I filled the glass, there was a little left in the bottle so very unusally I decided to drink it out of the bottle.

Thought, wouldn't it be nice to see something little spiritual and held the bottle up for last drops and if you hold a bottle up, a little pattern right at the base lit up from behind where a bulb is above like a little starflower, yay!

4hero - Les Fleur

Alcohol a poison, pepsi max, who knows what the various chemicals do, really should give stearing clear of all fizzy drinks etc well just drink vitalitalious, drink well. Was reading an article yesterday which listed the many benefits of drinking water, I remember also my ex (she was studying a degree in nutrition) saying most people when they think they're hungry more often than not are actually thirsty.

Began the first post at just after midnight, now 8am. Took last joint wanted to smoke in the morning to one of the trees in the field along the way and soaked in some of the dawn.

It's about half ten pm now, I went in to help my Dad.

Dad : Thanks for helping me out with all these stupid questions.
Me : They're not stupid.
Dad : I'm 75, and bipolar, what they used to call a lunatic.
Me : Yeah?
Dad : Yep, because of the lunar cycles.
Me : I never knew that.

- I'm a sucker for syncronisty (sp?), just as made the last entry to this month went back and uploaded a picture I'd taken using for the picture, which happened to be, of the moon.


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