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Dinner and Dessert: Flash Fiction by cam8510

Updated on October 7, 2015
cam8510 profile image

Chris has written more than 100 flash fiction/short stories.Working Vacation took 21st out of 6,700 in the 2016 Writer's Digest competition.

Source

Inside the Workout World Fitness Center, three cardio machines stood motionless on a raised platform overlooking the free weight section of the gym where a man the color of polished bronze, glistened under fluorescent bulbs. Facing the wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling mirrors he flexed every muscle of his finely tuned anatomy admiring the results of his combined weightlifting and steroid regimens.

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Two men and a woman approached the unclaimed cardio machines. Stu, a tall, lanky man, with no visible muscle tone, boarded the spin bike. He wore a sleeveless, moisture wicking shirt and unflatteringly short shorts. The other male stepped onto the treadmill. He sported a white cotton under shirt, plaid bermuda shorts, black socks and insanely expensive athletic shoes. Physically he fell someplace between Peter Griffin and Spongebob Squarepants. His name was Peter. Melanie began making large, oval patterns with her legs as she moved on the elliptical machine. She considered herself to be “curvy,” meaning she was loaded with bombshell potential, but could stand being a caliber or two smaller.

Source

“It looks like we’ll have some live entertainment for our workout today,” said Stu, nodding toward the glistening, bronze man.

“Entertainment?” said Mel, “He’s disgusting. Look at him, he’s so self absorbed, he doesn’t even know anyone else is around.

“You’re kidding,” said Peter. “The guy’s staring right at you through the mirror.”

“If I throw up thinking about that neanderthal looking at me," said Melanie, "I’m going to spew it all over your fancy sneakers. By the way, Pete, that treadmill has an on switch you know?”


Peter flipped the switch and began walking. “Speedos should be outlawed, that’s what I think. How about you, Mel? Is that a turn-on for a woman?”

“Speedos rank at the top of my turn-off list, Pete. Right below bermuda shorts.”

“So you think he’s gross?” asked Stu..

“Of course he’s gross, look at all the sweat,” said Melanie. “And his muscles bulge like he’s inflated with helium. I’m surprised he doesn’t float to the ceiling.”

“That’s not sweat, it’s oil. I saw him putting it on in the locker room. This isn’t his workout time, it’s his show time,” said Stu.

“You watched him put the oil all over his body?” asked Peter.

“Now that’s gross,” said Melanie.

Source

“It’s not like I stood there eating popcorn, staring,” said Stu. “He was sitting in the middle of the room pouring and rubbing and pouring and rubbing.”

“So you watched through two cycles of pouring and rubbing? This is certainly a side of you we haven’t seen before,” said Melanie. “Okay guys, you can continue talking about the hunk over there if you want. I’m going to listen to my music now.” She put her ear buds in and focused on her workout.

“Hey, he’s coming this way,” said Peter.

“It looks like Mel might be going out for dinner and dessert tonight,” said Stu.

Melanie popped the ear buds out and said, “I heard that you jerk.”

“Good afternoon,” said the bronze hunk as he stood in front of the trio.

“Hi,” said Melanie, quickly clearing her throat to hide that her voice had just cracked when she spoke.

“I couldn’t help noticing you while I was working out, so I thought I’d say hello,” said the bronze stud. He placed a slip of paper on the console of the cardio machine in front of him. As he walked away, he turned back and winked.

Dessert

Source

“Did you see that?” said Peter. “He did that telephone thing with his pinky and thumb and mouthed the words ‘call me.’”

“Well, well, well,” said Melanie. “Isn’t this an interesting turn of events?”

Stu picked up the slip of paper from the console of his spin bike and stared at it.

Melanie laughed and said, “What are you going to order for dessert tonight, Stu?”

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    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      wingedcentaur, This one was written as I was beginning to attempt more comedy in my stories. It's actually patterned after the Seinfeld comedy, at least in my mind. I guess it's an okay story, but a little forced in places. But that's how we grow as writers, by forging ahead into uncharted waters. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      FYI, my blog address is in my profile. That's where most of my stories end up. I just purchased my own domain from google and I'm not sure exactly how to make it more accessible. But if you are interested in more stories, you'll find plenty there.

    • wingedcentaur profile image

      William Thomas 2 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      Hello there, cam8510!

      I'm going to be thinking on this one; its an interesting variation. I love the way Melanie's voice cracked when the bronze man, whom she'd claimed to be disgusted by, spoke, hoping that she was the target of his attention. But no, 'psych,' as we used to say eons ago, the bronze man went for Stu.

      I like the way you exposed her hypocrisy---or, perhaps just her conflicted heart.

      Take it easy.

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 2 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      Oh, there's always one guy with black socks and athletic shoes or sandals. And the pick up tactics these guys use are really inventive. Sure thing. This was great fun to read and to wonder where it was going. Funny and interesting. Thanks for the laugh.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Uh-huh. It sure made sense…Good work, Chris.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      Faith, I am happy I could help put a smile on your face. Thanks for reading.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      Eric, That's why they call this stuff situation comedy. Real life situations offer lots of comedic content if we stare at it long enough. Thanks for reading.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Hahaha great dialogue and amusing story here. I enjoyed this read.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Hahaha great dialogue and amusing story here. I enjoyed this read.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      And so why was this fiction?

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      Jaye, nice to see you. Thanks for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Yes, the ending was to be expected I'm afraid, but it's ok. I'm having fun working on comedy.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      Becky, I think no eye contact may be the secret here.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      Cat, thanks for reading. I was aiming for shallow characters and trivial conversation.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      Mary, thanks for reading. I hope I've inspired you to get back to the gym.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      Ruby, but what about all of the straight HubPages hunks?

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      John, It was difficult to not telegraph the ending. But fun nonetheless.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      Ann, thanks. I wanted to have a lot of dialogue in this one. I'm glad it worked well.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      Frank, I'm glad you liked the concept. It's a bit different, but I had fun with it.

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 2 years ago from Deep South, USA

      I anticipated the ending, but enjoyed the read just the same. Great dialogue, Chris!

      Jaye

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 2 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      He noticed which one was the admirer. These guys always go for the admirer.

    • cat on a soapbox profile image

      Catherine Tally 2 years ago from Los Angeles

      Haha! What a fun piece! You did a great job w/ the dialogue:)

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      Couldn't have been better Chris. When he started walking over, just for a minute, I wondered if he'd give his number to one of the guys. Nicely done.

      Makes me remember I have a gym membership I'm not using ;)

      Voted up, funny, and interesting.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      HaHA...Ain't it the truth, all the good lookn' hunks are gay. Hee.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Haha Chis, I saw that coming. Still loved the laugh it gave me this evening. Maybe that's why I don't go to the gym.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      Great story, Chris! Love the ending which made me smile and the banter was spot-on. All that oil would definitely be off-putting!

      Ann

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      like the idea, love the conversation... and get the humour..voted awesome