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Dixie Carter Loses White House Bid

Updated on June 11, 2016

Dixie Carter campaigning for a white house earlier this year

TNA President Dixie Carter lost her years long campaign for the white house. The white house, located on the end of a Landing Street cul-de-sac in downtown San Antonio, has been on the market for the last several years.


In July 2015, TNA President Dixie Carter became the first female president to make a bid for the white house. Previously, all applicants were rich old white men from the corporate world. Over the course of the last year, Carter made it well known that she was the only proper candidate for the white house on Landing Street. The four bedroom home, which was being offered fully furnished, had been a hot prospect for many other business peoples in the area, albeit they were all men. But Dixie was the only one to launch a serious campaign for the home, delivering over 130 hours of speeches to local small businesses and homeowners associations.


For the first several months, Dixie Carter seemed a shoe-in for the residency. The members of the homeowners alliance were unanimously behind her, with ample supporters ceaselessly donating funds to her campaign for the white house. It was not uncommon for neighboring domiciles to display signs in their front yard, welcoming the first female to the white house. But in December, all that mutated.


On a warm winters morning in Texas, gossip and rumors of Dixie Carter's past creeped into the front page headlines of the local papers. Claims of adultery, money laundering, and bad booking decisions mangled Carter's endeavor.


"I never knew much about Dixie. She just seemed like a really genuine Southern Belle to me. But then I started reading about how she treated Stevie Richards during his run in TNA. I couldn't believe it. Dr. Stevie? That's the absolute worst thing I could ever imagine," stated Marge Shaw, an 83 year old grandmother from San Antonio.


Soon, association members began distancing themselves from Carter's campaign for the white house. Slowly but surely, they began to get behind second tier candidate Ronald Sheraton. The coffee mogul took advantage of the bad press. In February, Sheraton took out a full page ad in the San Antonio Telegram. The full color advertisement featured Carter in a full embrace with accused celebrity racist Hulk Hogan. The picture was taken in 2009 when Dixie made the money wasting decision to pay the Hulkster to turn her company from a thriving business into a disheveled mess.


The hits just kept on coming for Carter. In April, Carter and Sheraton got into a heated argument at a homeowners association meeting to discuss which candidate had the best plans for their lawn. During the conversation, Sheraton accused Carter of single-handily creating the character Robbie E.


"Robbie is a New Jersey bum that lives for gym, tan and laundry. This is exactly the type of individual you can see every week on Dixie Carter's wrestling product. And it is exactly the type of guests she will be bringing to her home if she wins the white house."


Dixie spent the rest of the evening denying accusations that her house would resemble anything on the Jersey Shore. The words were too little too late.


As members turned out this morning to vote alongside the association board, many knew the fix was in. The final tally saw Carter lose her bid, 29 votes to Sheraton's 71 votes.


Sheraton thanked Carter for her strong effort to keep the neighborhood vibrant. He promised to keep his lawn green and maintain a proper white wooden fence. He did however claim that his first action would be to paint the white house.


"I'm thinking blue," Sheraton lamented, before walking offstage.

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