Do I have "Please Grope Me" Tattooed on my Forehead?
I am seriously beginning to wonder what kind of message I am unintentionally giving out to men! It feels as if I have "Please Grope Me" tattooed on my forehead, yet I offer no actual encouragement as far as I am aware. Let me explain:
I suppose the worst of it began without an actual grope being involved, and was the time I was flashed by a man when I was at work, on my own, in a lonely one man petrol station in the middle of nowhere. Those of you who read the hub will know I handled this weird experience pretty well, and actually found it quite amusing, (not an easily shocked person as you may have gathered). I have always been fairly outrageous in personality, and it takes one hell of a lot to embarrass me, although many have tried. Actually, one of the nicest compliments I have ever had was from a male friend in the pub who included me in an all bloke conversation by saying, "Oh Cindy, she's okay, she's one of the lads". Don't get me wrong, I am ladylike and usually smartly dressed when I go out, but I do seem to fit right in with the lads, at least most of the time anyway, and am rarely offended by any topic of conversation, no matter how crude it may seem to most women.
Perhaps this is mistaken by some males to mean I am "up for anything", as the first time I was physically groped was about 2005, when I was in my regular pub (at the time) on a Friday night enjoying a few drinks with the usual locals and spending a bit of time with the man who was later to become my current Husband. I had briefly left the crowd I was sitting with and headed up to the bar to buy a drink. On my way to the bar I started chatting to another regular in the pub who had already enjoyed quite a few beers. Normally him and I got on okay, and we had played a number of games of pool against each other in the past, (I had actually won a fair few drinks off him this way previously). His name was Wayne, and although for the life of me I cannot remember what we were talking about, I do remember that suddenly, and without any warning, he grabbed hold of my right breast, (boob), whatever you choose to call it, and squeezed it rapidly three times as if it was some kind of vintage car horn or something, you know, like Noddy's car "Parp, Parp, Parp".
My reaction was purely reflex, as if my right arm had a completely independent brain from mine, as I immediately slapped him very hard around the face. There was a split second pause, and then the pub landlord, (who happened to be my Ex Control Freak Boyfriend), came rushing over to prevent the situation escalating any further.
Meanwhile, a few of our crowd had witnessed this event, and were actively encouraging my future (slightly inebriated) Husband to go and deck the bloke. I ended up having to convince him to stay out of it, and explained I had already dealt with the situation myself. Eventually Wayne called me over and apologised with a bizarre explanation that didn't make me feel any better at all. His explanation was that he had drunk so much he had no idea who he had been talking to, and I could have been "Boogie" or anyone. I would like to explain here that "Boogie", is a bloke, a little shorter than me, and slightly tubby, in fact, I couldn't look much less like "Boogie if I was Father Christmas. Anyway I accepted the apology, told Wayne if it ever happened again I would "lay him out" and prised my future Husband away from the discussion and went on to enjoy the rest of my evening.
This however, was not to be the last time I got groped!
Some time has needless to say gone by, and I guess I had relaxed and didn't expect things like this to happen to me any more, (after all, I am turning 40 next month). I no longer frequent the same pub, and the pub I do frequent is a trouble free zone, so why is it that last Saturday night, my Husband and I are enjoying a few drinks together, when a certain male acquaintance of ours comes into the bar, starts chatting and drinking some beers, and waits for his opportunity to grope me?
Now let me just describe this man to you. He is approximately in his late 60's, has had two knee replacements and is married to a very sweet lady who happens to work for the same company as my Husband. He has never made a pass at me before, and I can't really blame it on the alcohol as he had only drunk a few pints when the grope happened.
Richard went to the toilet, (and probably for a sneaky cigarette as well because he knows I have quit smoking). This man then began to relatively harmlessly (or so I thought), flirt via some slight innuendo type remarks. I initially let the comments roll over my head like they normally do, but that was until he commented on the fact I had "Buttons on the inside of my jumper". Realising he was referring to the fact I was not wearing a bra (and it was a little chilly), I tried to laugh it off saying that there were no buttons on the inside of my jumper:
"Yes there are" he says, "Here", and begins twiddling with my left nipple as if trying to tune in a radio station.
I was taken somewhat by surprise, and removed his hand immediately, whilst trying to put him down a bit by saying:
"Well at least I don't have a button on the inside of my trousers".
Fatal, big mistake, as he grabs my hand and says words to the effect of, "It's no button, here, feel it", and promptly begins pulling my hand down towards his groin.
I yanked my hand away, feeling pretty disgusted, but not wanting to make a scene. He exchanged a few more flirtatious remarks to me that I politely rejected, before he must have seen my Husband returning from the toilets, at which point he immediately and smoothly changed the subject.
Shortly after we left to go home, and on the way back I told my husband what had happened. He was pretty shocked to be honest, and so was I. It left me feeling almost "dirty" and "sullied" in some way, and yet I did nothing to encourage him.
It leaves me with one very awkward additional dilemma. This man is one half of the couple that have offered me use of their land for my second vegetable allotment, and I am now not so sure it is a great idea for me to take them up on the offer as his Wife will be at work most days, and so will my Husband. This chap only works as a handyman now if work is available, (as since his knee replacements he can't perform in a regular job). I am guessing you know where this is heading, I am not so sure he wouldn't be hovering around me when I was tending the allotment, and potentially being a total lecherous old man. Of course I could take the gamble and work on the principle that I will threaten to tell his Wife it it happened again, but what sort of dread would I feel each time I went to the new allotment knowing he might be there! It would also be awful to put in all the work and expense of ploughing and fencing in the allotment area, only to have to walk away from it if he became a total nuisance.
Any suggestions anyone, (and no more offers of further gropes please)???
I suppose if the worst came to the worst I can run faster than him LOL!