Dying Is Easy
When I wrestle with the pain, I am tormented with blame that I am too weak to sustain my own thoughts from bleeding out tears of insanity, spiraled into hopelessness.
I am told to pray to a God whom I have no faith, in to deliver me from this pain because,
Living is hard; when living is to live with the scars of past mistakes, to far to see myself falling beneath the slivers of my shattered heart, this earth has become my hell, I I I I am looking for something that will guide my feet to something more than this. Who do I seek? when I just want my body to go where my mind has already guided the rest of me because,
Dying is easy; when every day is a repeat of today, I live a lie masked as I am fine, teetering on madness believing this darkness oozing from the inside-out won’t crush the withered pieces of the shadows of my former self, to hear
this God you speak, of amazing power; the one that breathe life into this worthless body, as I wonder when will time stand still for me just a little while where my heart doesn’t beat, I’m so weak.
I am broken, daily becoming unhinged from who I was meant to be, I can’t find myself. Small fragments of regret held together by whispers of, “you’re not good enough”, I just want to be made whole. Someone please get ahold of me.
Tell me how I can be shielded from disaster press upon my soul, life has turned my heart so cold, why must it be this way.
You say I must pray, but dying is the easiest way to tear my heart away from all the hurt that violates my body to endure such pain, what will living gain me but desperation to elevate myself from this agony, I weep because I can’t speak those word that will give me peace.
I finally kneel my heart wants to heal.
God please hear my pleas, this is not the person I want to be, Save me from my cataclysm will that I must perish in order to feel the weight crushing me lifted. I can not do this by myself! I don’t have the strength I don’t have the will some how some way I want to deal, with voices that tell me dying is easy, living is hard….
