E.G.G Episode 12: Hustled
AND THERE CAME A DAY, A DAY UNLIKE ANY OTHER. WHEN THREE FRIENDS UNITED TO CREATE THE FUTURE THAT WE NEVER COULD. ON THAT DAY, E.G.G WAS BORN.
Previously, on E.G.G...
Josh got Eileen and Acacia excited with the news that they'd be having a new recruit, only for them moments later to find out that it was Julian, the man who crashed Mother Egg and was responsible for Eileen's death at the hands of Venom. Unhappy with this, Eileen and Acacia did all they could to get Julian kicked off, but in the end, Eileen was able to come to terms, but not before threatening Julian in the case that he betray E.G.G.
Click here to read Episode 11
Click here to read Episode 11 Q&A
Josh's Threat Assessment of the Hypno-Hustler
Acacia was spinning around in a chair in the Inner Shell tossing a bouncy ball up and down when Eileen walked in.
“Hey Eileen,” Acacia said. “Wanna play catch?”
“Not especially.” She replied, looking around. “Where’s Julian?”
“He went down with Josh to get more eggs. Why?”
“I don’t want him out of my sights.”
“Oh, right. They should be back soon.” Suddenly a blue flash appeared and Josh walked onto Mother Egg with an armful of eggs.
“What’s up guys!” He said.
“Nothing much.” Eileen replied, looking behind him. “Julian, what on earth are you wearing?” Josh turned and looked.
“That’s not Julian…” He said. Standing there was a man with a big afro, a purple puffy shirt, bell bottom jeans, a gold chain, and sunglasses with a swirly pattern on the lenses.
“The name’s Hypno-Hustler, no Julian here,” He said, twisting on his feet. “Now drop to yo knees, and tremble in fear!”
“Waste him!” Josh shouted. All of them drew their guns and began to fire. But the Hypno-Hustler’s moves were too smooth. He moon walked, do-si-doed, and electric slid around each and every bullet. Eileen stepped forward and shot lighting at him, but he broke danced out of the way.
“Step out of the kitchen if you can’t take the heat!” He said. “The only way to take me down is to spin a phat beat!”
“It looks like the only way to beat him is a sing off.” Acacia observed.
“More like a rap off.” Josh corrected.
“Okay Josh,” Eileen said. “Please tell me you can… twist a fat rhyme.” Josh looked at her.
“It’s spin a phat beat, Eileen.” Josh said, taking off his jacket. “And of course I can.”
E.G.G RAP BATTLE!!!!!
HYPNO-HUSTLER V.S E.G.G!
Yo, Hypno-Hustler, I see you’re raising the stakes!
But to take us down? You don’t got what it takes!
Just leave now, so later you won’t have to beg.
Gather your things, and got off of my Egg!
Psh, man please! You think your rhymes are sweet?
They stink worse than a slab of rotten meat!
I hate to see you slink off with yo tail between yo legs,
But I’d rather that than have you watch me crack your eggs!
Crack my eggs? Bro, you can’t even touch me!
I got friends, and gear, and a full on army!
I’ll stick you to that telepoter with a quick thwip,
Then I’ll send you back home, hope you have a nice trip!
Okay, so it seems you got some fresh rhymes.
But you can only beat me so many times.
Can one of your friends step up to the plate?
Or has this giant egg decided its fate?
Decided our fate! Hey, we’re just getting started!
But you’d better run, oh wait, your flight just departed!
Looks like you’re stuck up here with him, her, and me.
And let me tell you buddy, we’re not taking it easy.
Ooh, so small fry wants to give it a shot!
Okay girl, go ahead, let’s see what got!
That is, I mean, if we could even see you,
You so short I thought you was a little Pikachu!
Does size really matter? I mean look at your hair!
At first I thought it was a big black bear!
An afro? Really? The 80’s are finished.
And your Prince look is pretty much all but diminished.
Don’t hate on the classics! And don’t dis on the do!
I see your friend’s tryin to grow one too!
What? I’m not gonna lie, it is pretty cool.
Then tell yo girl here to stop bein a fool!
Josh, come on, I can do it!
Then stop wastin time and let’s get to it!
Fine Acacia, but you only get one chance!
So don’t screw this up, and please don’t dance!
Whoa! Everybody come and see!
This Hypno-Fool wants to challenge me!
Man, I’ll put you to shame, turn you inside out,
I’m gonna win this battle without a shred of doubt!
Big talk, no bite, I figured as much!
You lean on your friends for a rhythm crutch!
But now it’s too late, you’re playin’ with the big boys!
Just go back to yo room, and finish playin’ with your baby toys!
Okay, fine, I will, oh wait! Just kidding.
I gave ‘em all to you when you started bidding.
You paid 1 for Power Rangers, 10 for Play-Doh,
50 for Bayblade, and 100 for Lego!
I don’t see how you plan on winning this fight,
With your shirt all frilly and your pants too tight.
I’d dis on yo mama, but that’d just be mean!
Wait… Did Julian just come onto the scene?
What’s goin on? I wasn’t gone that long.
Now I hear everybody singin’ a song!
If anyone’s got swag, Mr. Woodfin it’s you!
Come on bro, let’s show Hypno how we do!
Oh, so you got another brother on the team!
Alright, this might not be as easy as it seems.
But the Hypno-Hustler always has answers!
Why don’t you say hello to my backup dancers!
Hypno-Hustler’s moves are too smooth,
Go ahead and try to throw off his groove!
Better make way for the king of R and B!
Check him out right here, or on MTV!
MTV? Thant’s a channel for punks!
For washed up rappers and hung over drunks!
Here at E.G.G, man we keep it real!
So get out or go down bro, that’s the deal!
I never liked rap, but this is kinda fun.
Watchin you skip away cause you know we’ve won!
Bye, bye baby, see you next year.
Just make sure you remember, we’ll always be here.
And that was no threat! It was a guarantee.
Cause buddy, by now you have to see,
Here at E.G.G, we’re way more than just a group.
We’re like a perfect blend of bread, broccoli and soup.
I can’t believe that I really lost!
I battled you eggheads, but at what cost?
My rhymes! My rhythm! My quick movin’ feet!
I guess it’s all over, I know when I’m beat,
Good, so don’t come around here again.
Cause we’ll send you right back to Rexburg State Pen!
You came and got beat, battered, and bustled,
Face it Hypno, you just got hustled!
* * *
And with that, the Hypno-Hustler exploded into confetti. Eileen ran her hand through it.
“Well that was weird,” She said. “Was he even real?”
“I dunno,” Acacia replied. “But he was no big deal!”
“Aw!” Everybody groaned simultaneously.
“Really?” Josh said. “Really with the rhyming?”
“Sorry.” Acacia smiled. Julian sighed.
“Well, I’m out.” He said, walking to his room. Eileen watched him carefully, then proceeded to her room. Acacia picked up her bouncy ball and looked at Josh.
“Wanna play catch?” She asked. Josh shrugged.
“Why not.” He said. And they played catch the rest of the day.
Acacia walked into the alley. She leaned against the wall.
“I have a problem,” she said. “I ordered my eggs scrambled.”
“But I got ‘em sunny side up.” Came the voice of Clay Quartermain as he emerged from the shadows.
“Good to see you Clay.” Acacia said, embracing him.
“Likewise.” He replied.
“So what’d you find?”
“Well, the message was seek the heart in the everlasting dominion, right?”
“And you said Terry told you.”
“Right, so with that logic, I went to his room and you’ll never guess what I found.”
“What?” With that Quartermain took out a S.H.I.E.L.D file with the word classified across it.
“Behind a picture on the wall.” He said. Acacia looked up.
“The picture of Fumiko…” She remembered.
“Yeah, the heart.”
“But that still doesn’t explain the everlasting dominion…”
“Hey, one riddle at a time, startin’ with that there file.” Acacia began to open it but Quartermain stopped her.
“You might not like some of the things you see in there.” Acacia took a deep breath,
“I’m a big girl. I can take it.” She opened the file. Then she gasped.
“Clay, is that…”
“Yep.” Acacia closed the file.
“Then we’re in more trouble than I thought.”
To Be Continued...
Could you stand in a rap battle against the Hypno-Hustler and the Mercy Killers?
Remember to leave questions and comments so that I can address them in the Q&A this Thursday, October 23! Check and see if your question gets answered! And look for Episode 12: The White Queen, the next day October 24!